It is so…comfortable, sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room. I guess part of it is that as a Louie-Louie Generation guy, I’m past the age when I always have to prove that I’m just as good as I never was. Louie-Louie Generation guys are comfortable. We know that “He who dies with the most toys wins.” But on the other hand, we also know that he doesn’t get to play with them, because he’s dead. The Pimple People haven’t figured that out yet. They’re not comfortable. They’re always scrambling trying to catch up with us. Big Louie, his own bad self, has a statement for the Pimple People. He says, “Pimple People of the world, you shall indeed inherit the earth…after we’re done with it.”
Proud Podcast Participant, and reformed Pimple Person “Pistol Packin” Pete…sent me a list of why it’s so great to be a Louie- Louie Generation guy. For example: Chocolate is just another snack to us. We really don’t care if anyone notices our new haircut. Wrinkles add character. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can drop in to see a buddy without bringing a little gift. You don’t have to clean your house if the maid is coming. You don’t have to shave below your neck. You’re not expected to know the names of more than five colors. And perhaps best of all, you never have strap problems in public. It’s comfortable being a Louie-Louie Generation guy.
I’m always amazed at how un-comfortable Pimple People guys are. This is no kidding. You can’t make this up. There is a National Coalition for Men. Their stated goal is to “Help emotionally adrift men.” They deal with big deal problems like should a man open a door for a woman ? Should he talk about his feelings ? And most amazing of all is their top topic: What is the role of the male in this increasingly complex society ? Louie-Louie Generation guys have a very simple answer to all those Pimple People Problems. Big Louie, his own bad self says, “Why waste time trying to figure out what it means to be a man…or a woman for that matter. Just don’t hurt any body, and do what makes you comfortable.”
Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
1- What pickiness is it that portents powerful pain in public.
2- What does my Lady Wonder Wench’s gelding teach us about horsing around ?
3- The question is “What is the sound of an exploding sheep?”
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
If the National Coalition for Men wants to know how to figure out how to be a man in this increasingly complex world, they should listen to my Sister in Law Peggy. Peggy is also a Proud Podcast Participant. She has it broken down into blue jobs for guys and pink jobs for non-guys. For example, hauling the laundry down to the washing machine…blue job. Using the washing machine… pink job. No confusion. Comfortable. Peggy is a Louie-Louie Generation lady. She also says a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. For example: Freezer bags are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them. Photo copiers are female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm them up again. Tires are male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated. Sponges are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water. Hot air balloons are male because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butts. Web pages are female because they’re constantly being looked at, and frequently getting hit on. Like Louie-Louie Generation Ladies every where, Peggy has it nailed. And speaking of nailed, Peggy says hammers are male, because they haven’t changed in thousands of years, but they are occasionally handy to have around. And TV remotes are female, because they give guys such pleasure, and they’re constantly changing the subject. Thank you Peggy.
There’s a story in the Night Connections personal audio cd about one startling difference between men and women, that I hope never goes away. The story is called the Quick Change Artist. That woman got his complete attention without even trying. In fact if she HAD been trying, the magic might have been short-circuited. it might not have been nearly as good. And it WAS good. For both of them. The Quick Change Artist is from the Night Connections personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Night Connections icon on the home page.
It is so comfortable being a Louie-Louie Generation guy. If you want a weather forecast, all you have to do is pay attention to what your knee joints are telling you. You can sing along to elevator music…and you don’t care that you’re the only one in the elevator who remembers the songs. MEEESHELL, MA BELL…hell the Pimple People don’t even remember Ma Bell.
We don’t need workshops or support groups to know you damn well should hold doors open for a woman…and it doesn’t even hurt to hold a door for the guy behind you. Why not ? If you feel competitive… go for it. Maybe you’ll win. Maybe not. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. We know these things. Feel like talking about your feelings…fine. If you don’t… fine too.
So, to avoid any confusion about what it means to be a man, just get yourself a nice, comfortable, big, black leather poppa chair, and remember what Big Louie said before…”Why waste time trying to figure out what it means to be a man…or a woman for that matter. As long as you don’t hurt any body, just do what makes you comfortable.