The Louie Lad Shoulder Slam

I’m sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable black leather poppa chair in my living room enjoying an injury that I have suffered at the hands of my Lady Wonder Wench. Actually the injury was caused by the fist of my Lady Wonder Wench. Her left fist. I have come to call this frequently inflicted injury, the “Louie Lad Shoulder Slam.” I have noticed that it’s an injury that many of my fellow Louie Louie generation guys seem to enjoy frequently. It can happen any time a Louie Louie lady’s fist is near her Louie Lad’s shoulder, and he’s making wise cracks. But it seems to happen most frequently when he’s driving their car.

We just got back from a trip to a restaurant that featured lots of Louie Lad Shoulder Slams. I said, “I want you to order the most expensive meal on the menu. Go for it. Get the double whopper with cheese. (Wham) I told her “Please stop giving me a hard time for my bad table manners, they were my mother’s fault. When I asked her if I could lick the bowl she always said, “No flush it like everybody else.” (Whap) I said “I’m doing all the driving from now on, because I’ve noticed that when you drive, more and more people have been yelling at you, and a significant number of them are lying on the hood of the car.” (Pow) I told her “Just because I have such an infectious smile, you shouldn’t be afraid of kissing me when we get home.” (Thwap) Then she said, “You just missed the turn. Why can’t you ever remember that turn.” I said, I tend to forget my mistakes because why should two people have to remember them forever.” (Pow, Pow, Blam.)

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.  

1- What made some astronauts want to open the window in space ?

2- What are 100% of the guys listening to this podcast trying to do, that only 30% will be able to accomplish?

3- What’s the answer to the question, “What were you doing New Years Eve?”

Dick’s details. They take your mind off your mind.

I was thinking about why I really enjoy the Louie Lad Shoulder Slam. When she punches my shoulder she’s really saying some things…like, “I get your joke.” But she’s also saying “You belong to me, and that makes me feel safe, because I can hit you and it doesn’t hurt you because you’re strong.” And “I know the guys would laugh at the kind of stuff you’re telling me, but I’m not a guy, and I like that I’m not a guy and you are.”

I know there are still some people who would call me a male chauvinist, because I like being a man, and I’m glad my Lady is not just not a man…she is a lady. That’s the way we are…my lady and me. Some people are soul mates, we’re flesh and blood partners. To each his own. Some people work at their relationships, we have fun in our romance. Whatever you do, go for it.

I welcome people of all kinds to our group. All colors, all sexes, all religious and political persuasions, all philosophical perspectives…except…except the emotional terrorists. No macho guys please, and no screaming feminists…because they spoil the fun. They make people uncomfortable, and they’re useless in terms of filling any emotional need except the urge to scream, smirk, and shame people who don’t see it their way. I guess I’m ranting. Don’t mean to. But I had to put these feelings into words. It’s the result of an Email that I got about one of the stories in the Night Connections 3 Personal Audio called, “It’s Not Your Fault.” It’s about a guy who got a sledge hammer slam from his girl.

He got over it. It took a long time. In fact it took 3 years. To make a long story short, a beautiful woman took him by the hand and never let go. I don’t know what happened to the woman in the story. Whatever happened to her, and her lover, I wish them much happiness. And I suspect by now, the guy in the story feels the same way.

“It’s Not Your Fault” is from the Night Connections 3 Personal Audio CD. If you like it you can just record the podcast or download it from the icon on the home page.

I like it when my Lady Wonder Wench gives me a good, hard, Louie Lad Shoulder Smack. It means she’s glad I’m the man in her mind, and in her heart. I’ve got a pretty tough shoulder…and every time she smacks it with her fist, she’s just making it a little softer…a little more tender…she’s making it a little more of a safe and comfortable place to rest her head.

One Response to “The Louie Lad Shoulder Slam”

  1. aliasJean Fox says:

    Dick, I have created what I call the “air bat”. It’s where one simply raises one’s open hand as though to strike a person, but instead, swings it sharply across the air about 3″ above another’s head. As long as the air-bat recipient doesn’t move, it is successful in just ‘batting the air’ instead of the person. It gets the point across and doesn’t leave marks ….

    HOWEVER, as I see your lady is sporadically kneading her personal pillow, an air bat just would NOT do!! Besides, it’s very distracting while driving …….