The Deadly Offensive Podcast

Time for me to brush off some dust. The podcast that goes with this blog each week is for grown ups…Louie-Louie folks…of all ages. Big Louie, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation always says, “The word grown up describes a person who has been known to groan from being knocked down, but always gets up, brushes off the dust, and gets on with life.” That’s a grown up. I know a lot of you from emails, or phone calls, or even visits. And you’re all grown ups. So I guess you can stand hearing an offensive podcast without having it scar you too deeply. I have no idea why it’s offensive. I don’t want to offend you on the podcasts any more than I’d want to offend you in person. But I obviously screwed up somewhere.

 Here’ what’s going on. The podcasts are carried on a number of radio stations as a late night feature. One of the stations just informed me that the contents of one of the podcasts was so offensive, they are dropping the series. The podcast is titled, “Underwear or Lingerie,” and I have absolutely no idea why it would be offensive. So…help me out here. My email is dick at dick summer.com. I’d appreciate it if you’d listen to the podcast, and tell me WHY IT’S OFFENSIVE TO GROWN UPS !

 When I was a kid, I had a fantasy. I wanted to be the radio voice in the middle of the night that could make people (especially girls) all over the city feel safe and cared for…and beautiful. I knew that kind of radio voice could make guys feel comfortable, too…because that’s what  one radio guy’s voice  did for me.

 I grew up in Brooklyn. For a New Yorker, a trip from Brooklyn to Manhattan is called, “a trip to the city.” When I “went to the city” as a kid, I used to look at those sky scrapers in Manhattan, and it seemed to me like they must have erupted like volcanos from the concrete… probably pushed up by the power of the subways as they roared along under the streets.

 There are 14 million people in New York…and on a good day all of them are trying to cross the same street at the same time…and they’re all hustling because they’re late for work. You’ve gotta keep moving…24/7… when you live in New York. It’s a constant clang, pound and push…all day and all night. It’s exciting. But it wears on you. And after a while it can be a little frightening.

 I used to hide my radio under the pillow late at night. That’s how I listened to William B. Williams on WNEW in New York. Willie always started his show by saying…”Hello, world.” He was welcoming you to his fantasy world, where he would keep you safe and smiling, and comfortable.

 His voice made me feel like we were buddies. He’d tell a couple of jokes…and he’d kinda give me a friendly punch in the shoulder… and sometimes throw me a knowing wink when he talked to the girls we both knew were listening. Willie is gone now. And so is that kind of radio. I call it “Fantasy Radio.” I miss it.

 I got to be a late night voice on the radio…even got to work with Willie and some of the other giants who lived in that little transistor box. And I think it’s a shame that we now have a couple of generations of kids who have never heard that kind of radio.

I don’t want to sound wrinkled and old beyond recognition…because getting wrinkled was not one of the fantasies I had when I was a kid. But I think if you’re a member of the Louie-Louie Generation…and you remember the Lone Ranger, and black and white tv, and bb guns…you’ll understand what I mean. And if you’ve been listening to the podcasts that go with this blog for a while, you’ll know that no matter how many birthday cakes you’ve sliced, you’re a member of the Louie-Louie Generation if a lot of your conversations these days includes words like “prostate,” “ouch,” “vitamin E,” “stress,” “diet,” and “what…what did you say?” 

Look…wrinkles may be sneaking up on us Louie-Louie Generation people, but contrary to what the pimple people think, our biggest concern is not getting our teeth stuck in each other’s wrinkles…our vital juices have not all turned to prune…and many of us are still looking forward to the disorderly, vigorous, and entirely disreputable remainder of our lives. And those of us who are still in love clearly understand the difference between a relationship and a romance. And the rest of us are well aware that although sex without love is a meaningless experience… as meaningless experiences go…it’s one of your better ones. 

Louie-Louie guys are the bed mates of choice for super models, porn stars, and beautiful young 22 year olds because of our worldly charm, our courtly manners, and the fact that some of us have a little money. We’re experienced. We know enough to tie up and blindfold the dog in times of… physical tenderness. Louie-Louie ladies also have their lives under control. They realize that if things don’t go well in a tender moment, it’s best to wait till your partner leaves to put in an emergency call to somebody better. And perhaps most important…Louie-Louie Generation people have learned to trust the words of Big Louie…his own bad self…when he says, “the more seriously you take yourself, the more foolish you look.”

 Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com

1- What unusual thing did the Perdue University Marching Band do right on the field after drinking lots of beer?

2- What very physical thing do lots of people do in their showers?

3- What one word in the English language makes me sick?

 

Scoring:

3 right – I Love New York

2 right – Chicago’s My Home Town

1-right – Moonlight In Miami

0-right – El Paso

 An email came pouring in to Dick@DickSummer.com  from proud PodCast participant Tom the Hugger about last week’s PodCast. He says in part…”When I went to Catholic school dances, the nuns and priests used to discourage dancing real close by tapping us on the shoulder and telling us to leave room for the Holy Ghost. This led me to think of the Holy Ghost as some kind of perv for wanting to dance between me and my girl. Of course, even I was smart enough by then not to mention that to Sister Mary Knuckle Buster.”

 Another note… this time from proud PodCast participant Dick B, who says, “I like your PodCasts because they make me think back to when times were slower…or maybe we just didn’t have as many responsibilities.” Thanks, Dick. The email address is Dick@DickSummer.com .

 But I digress. Back to the point. It’s fantasies that keep Louie-Louie people from becoming cynics. Cynics don’t believe in fantasies. They’re always looking for a sure thing. There’s always at least a touch of “maybe” in every fantasy. And cynics don’t like anything but sure things. Cynics are chicken. And chickens aren’t sexy. Fantasies are sexy…wearing lingerie instead of underwear…the pretty girl turning the frog into a prince and living happily ever after…the guy on the white horse swooping down to rescue the fair maiden from a fate worse than death. I like fantasies like that.

 So that’s why I do the PodCasts. I love the power of the fantasies that a voice on the radio can create late at night. But Fantasy Radio is gone…and I don’t think it will ever be back. So when you tell me that the PodCasts make you feel comfortable…and safe…and beautiful… and connected…thank you…from that long ago Brooklyn kid with his radio under the pillow.  You’ve let me live my fantasy…one more time.

 So, I certainly don’t want to offend you with the podcasts. And it would really help me if you’d listen to the current podcast, and let me know what you think the station thought was offensive. They wouldn’t tell me.

 My Email is, Dick@DickSummer.com. Give it to me straight. I’m a grown up. I can handle dusting myself off.

 

3 Responses to “The Deadly Offensive Podcast”

  1. Sheri says:

    I learned a long time ago, that somewhere, someone is going to find something offensive… even if the majority of people don’t. We have become a nation so concerned about offending someone, that we are all almost afraid to talk about important things. I’ve listened to that podcast a few times, and as of yet, can’t figure out what they find offensive, but then again, it takes a lot to offend me… I’ve been around the block.. more times than I wanna count… I’ve been knocked down, and though sometimes it’s taken longer to get up than others.. I’ve always gotten up.. learned from the experience, and moved on. I also know that there are things in my past that might offend some people.. and to them I say… that seems to be your problem, not mine….. I didn’t always feel this way… it’s taken time, and help from good people (you being one of them Dick) for me to get to where I am, and sometimes I backslide… but I always find my way back to me…. so Dick.., to those that find something offensive.. learn where the on/off switch is and move on… we love you just the way you are….

  2. Mike Legge says:

    This MAY be offensive to some, but here goes.

    Maybe it’s the advent of summer finally hitting New England, but I have a suggestion for a possible podcast subject.

    I recently picked up the released recordings of The Vagrants, from NYC. I’d never heard of them, but being a 60’s kid I heard some of it and bought it. Boy, it brought back the whole feel of that era to me. My question is, am I being delusional when I say the 60’s had the best music? I’m dismissing the old “back in my day” feeling; I’m trying to be objective. I mean, we had the Beatles, Kinks, Stones, and so many others that changed the music scene. It’s not that when we hit 1970 I started hating everything. I really liked when the new wave/punk era started, and I still like some modern day musicians, like the Strokes and our home state weird boys, They Might Be Giants. I cringe when a pimple person says the Beatles were really overrated. It’s more than “you had to be there”, it’s just they can’t see past their nose ring. I admit I really can’t take Rap or Hip Hop, but everything is so…processed. The rawness is gone. It’s like buying a unfinished chair and then plastering it with fifty coats of varnish. Over produced and all the same sounding. (I guess that sounds like an old fartrydom remark).

    Anyway, I thought I’d throw that at you. “Am I Being Delouielouislusional?”

  3. Dave Ventre says:

    Dick, the ‘cast in question was funny and sweet and well-written. If I had kids there’s be noting in it that I would think to shield them from.

    Some people simply live to be annoyed or offended or shocked, so find something they will.