Never Trust Anybody Over 30

I’m so comfortable sitting here in my big, black leather pappa chair in my living room, that it feels like I’ve always had a big, comfortable pappa chair. Which of course is not true. I grew up when one of the big slogans was, “Never trust anybody over the age of 30.” Now I hardly know anybody under the age of 30.

 Have you ever noticed that the older you get, the older “old” is ? I figure, the bad news is that your life just…flies by. The good news is that you can be the pilot. You learn stuff as you go along. Like the best things in life aren’t things. And everything you do that’s wonderful, you’ll catch hell for. And cookies you eat over the sink have no calories. And putting a red bulb in your bedroom light makes your wrinkles disappear.

 I mostly like being a member of the Louie-Louie generation. That’s because I still have some twinkles in my wrinkles. Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to become when I grew up. But it’s ok, because I still have several moving parts, which my Lady Wonder Wench helps me exercise on a reasonably regular basis.

 Louie-Louie Generation guys and girls have a big advantage in figuring things out…it’s called been there, done that. We know, for example, that one size doesn’t fit…ANY. A distant relative has not died and left us a fortune and all we have to do to get it is send our social security number to an internet guy in Nigeria, and tears get you sympathy, but sweat gets you results.

 But Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation wants us to keep things in perspective. He always says, “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know…very much.” And he’s right. I don’t know the answers to many important questions. How big is the universe. Where did my six pack of abs go. What is the absolute limit of how horny I can get.

 But you will be proud of me, because I am beginning to understand a little bit about computers. For example, it is never a good idea to let a computer know you’re in a hurry. You get a little screen that says, “We are downloading 65 absolutely vital updates. Do not turn off your computer…or else.” And I figured out how a computer can answer in a few seconds, mathematical questions that would take you millions of years to work out. You know how they do that? They make the answers up. That’s how. They know you’re not going to take a million years to check them out.

 Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in this week’s podcast.

1-    What makes American Airlines spend about $10,000 on certain women ?

2-    What happened to American women’s underwear in 1851 ?

3-    What can the smart guys in white coats tell us about nasty suckers ?

Dick’s details. They take your mind off your mind.

You’re simply not allowed to sit in a big, comfortable black leather pappa chair in your living room, until you can do a reasonably good imitation of being a grown up. But you’ve got to be careful of that. There’s a story in the lovin touch personal audio cd about the dangers of growing up. It’s called Growing Up.

 Women have to grow up. Because they take care of us. But the best women keep a little girl safely tucked away somewhere inside, and they let her out to play with us sometimes. If you like “Growing Up.” you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to the home page ( ) and download if from the Bedtime Stories icon.

 Things are kinda loosey goosie when you’re a kid playing street stickball. You can get away with making lots of stuff up as you go along. But if you grow up, and make it to the major leagues, there are umpires who make you play it strictly according to the rules. But you’ve learned that one of the rules, is there are times when you have to have the guts to break the rules.

 It’s not all cut and dried. There are some things about being a Louie-Louie Generation guy that cut two ways. Pretty women will flirt with you. And that’s nice. But the reason they’ll flirt with you is that they feel safe doing it. I’d like them to think there’s at least a little danger still lurking in the beast. I sometimes find myself standing in the middle of a room asking myself why I walked in here. Forgetting most things is annoying. But there are some things in my life that I don’t mind forgetting. When I was a kid, my hair was blonde. Most of the kids I knew had blonde hair a long time ago. Then my hair turned brown. Now it’s almost all gray. And sometimes I remember a couple of kids I knew when our hair was blonde, who put on uniforms…and never made it past their brown hair days. So I’m not complaining.

 I carry a picture of my Lady Wonder Wench and me that was taken at a beach a long time ago. That doesn’t make me feel old. It makes me feel lucky. The thing I hate is that I have to put on my glasses to see it clearly.

 All in all…I’m really happy and comfortable talking to you as I’m sitting here in my big comfortable black leather pappa chair. I hope you’re happy and comfortable too.

6 Responses to “Never Trust Anybody Over 30”

  1. Betsy says:

    Where I live it’s not about age, it’s about “verts”. The slogan is “Never trust anybody under 14,000 feet.” 😉

  2. dick butler says:

    hi Dick;
    Where I work u never trust anyone under 30 thats trying to hang a chain motor on a stage when the roof is 65ft over your head.

  3. dick says:

    Your right an easy explanation; in the entertainment business the lights,sound,backdrops etc. are hung on aluminum trusses using chain motors which are attached to the roof of a venue or if it’s an outdoor event a stage with a roof is erected to hold the equipment.Depending on the act the sound alone can weigh as much as 50, a well seasoned rigger is important because he has to be overhead dropping his rope to the floor for the down rigger to tie the chain on and help pull it to the roof so it can be hooked in the right place. On some shows you can have as little as 15 motors or as many as 100.
    — On Tue, 4/13/10, Dick Summer wrote:

    From: Dick Summer
    Subject: Re: [Dick Summer Connection] Comment: “Never Trust Anybody Over 30”
    Date: Tuesday, April 13, 2010, 4:15 PM

    Hi Dick, that sounds like good advice. I’ll bet folks would enjoy a little explanation. Dick

  4. betsy says:


    I’ve also learned not to trust anyone under 10. A couple neighbor kids took a saw to my beautiful white fur pine tree, and about a quarter of the bottom is gone now. They said they were looking for a “hiding place.” I decided I could either be mad or try to remember the wonderment of “kidhood” and that these are basically great kids who got carried away looking for a hiding place, and that it is after all only a tree. (although it is, or was, a beauty.) They wrote me a letter begging me to forgive them so of course I did.

  5. I really laughed at the comment about entering a room and forgetting why you went in there…as a matter of fact, I just forgot why I was writing this…

  6. Jeff Silver says:

    at least we can still find our way out of the room