Dick’s Halloween Dark Side

It gets dark early these days. I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather pappa chair in my living room, looking out the big sliding door window.  It was just about this time last year that George W. Bush and Barak Obama came to my door, begging for trick or treat candy. I gave them some, and in no time they were back for more. Just like in real life. It seems that most of the top Halloween masks these days are the faces of politicians…which I think is appropriate. Kids are pretending to be politicians, and politicians are acting like kids…Kids who have nuclear bombs, and very expensive campaign contributors.  Hard to think of anything much scarier than that. The kids knock it off after Halloween. Unfortunately, the politicians keep right on going.

I like the dark. Diversions dissolve in the dark. Diversions like your aching back, your visiting mother in law, and even your job. If you’re not afraid of the dark, and you let it dissolve the diversions in your life, you begin to see some faces looking at you. And sometimes one of those faces is…yours. It can be spooky. Especially the look in your eyes. But seeing your own face looking back at you in the dark…can really be an eye opener to some of the things you didn’t know about yourself.

When I was at WNBC Radio in New York, I got to know a real live witch. A cigar smoking, truck driving, witchy woman. Man, what a woman. Her real name is Lisa, but her friends call her Olga. Olga the Witch has long black hair, a voice like a purr with fur, and a long slow motion smile. I didn’t see Olga walk into the studio. I just looked up, and she was suddenly standing there in studio 2b at WNBC radio a lot of years ago. The idea that she just “appeared” was probably just my imagination. Maybe.

The 10PM to Midnight portion of my show was music, and Midnight to 2 AM was talk. And I always liked to have “ordinary” people who did extraordinary things as guests on the talk portion. So just before Halloween, I asked for mail from folks who figured they qualified, and Olga’s note said, “I’m a witch.” It was a slam dunk.

The lights at WNBC studios were New York Neon, and Olga purred something about how comfortable we’d be if I’d turn off the overheads and do our interview by the light of a candle she’d brought. Olga worked well in the dark…with just a candle. She liked candelight…enough light so you could just see a persons face…and especially a person’s eyes. And if it weren’t for the Federal Disc Jockey Regulations, plus the fact that my crack NBC tech/accomplice Vic Lombardo was only one heavy breath away, and of course the certain knowledge that my lady Wonder Wench was listening, things could have gotten a little out of hand right there. A lesson I had learned before, but it still kind of surprised me with how suddenly it hit.

Olga was fascinating. I mean in other ways too. She’s a follower of the ancient pagan religion called Wicca. It’s about love of nature, gentleness toward humans and animals, and very ancient legends about tall trees, shadow creatures, and the moon. No devil worship, no broomsticks, no haggle tooth hags. Olga is beautiful, smart, sensitive and loyal. I invited her back for several shows and eventually got to know her pretty well. As a matter of fact, she became a real friend to my Lady Wonder Wench, our son Mark and me.

Mark was 14 when Olga came into our lives. He often came to the station with W. Wench and me on Friday nights. Friday nights were “Mouth vs. Ear” nights on my show. “Mouth vs. Ear” was a quiz show. We always won, because we cheated. It was a lot of fun.

Besides My Lady W. Wench and Mark, there were lots of friends in the studio with us on Olga’s first night as a member of the “Mouth” quiz show team. And she was lively, happy, and bra-less when she threw her arms around Mark and gave him a loud, juicy, bouncy kiss smack dab on the mouth.

Mark was big with the GIRLS at 14. But Olga was all woman. Mark’s ears wiggled, his hands stuck out from his arms at a strange angle, and he didn’t start breathing again until sometime late Saturday afternoon.

That was lots of years ago, but when I asked Mark yesterday if he remembered, he said something like, “ooohhh yessss.” And his eyes turned a little purple.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-      Why does Big Louie think you should take your clothes off ?

2-      What do astronauts and strippers have in common ?

3-      Why does the FDA say we’ve been, “Foiled again ?“

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

Our “Mouth vs Ear” friends and I had a softball team called “The Cheaters.” (Remember, we always won the quiz because we cheated.) Olga the witch never played, but she came to watch and witch. We won a lot of games that year. Which I attributed to either the lively ball or the way Olga twitched her nose. A year or so after she joined our crew, Olga fell in love and moved away with her guy. We’ve lost track of her over the years, and I was wondering…this podcast gets around now and maybe someone listening this might know her. I don’t want to give you her last name for obvious reasons. And that wouldn’t be necessary anyway. Because there’s only one Olga like this warm and wonderful witchy woman. If you know her, I’d appreciate it if you’d ask her to drop an email to Dick@DickSummer.com . Wonder Wench, Mark and I really miss that cigar smoking, truck driving, fur purring, witchy woman.

Witches like candles and dark places. I  think that’s why people are sometimes afraid of witchcraft. Some people are afraid of the enormous power of the dark…the middle of the night. I loved being on the air at night. There’s a very short story about the  dark in the Bedtime Stories personal audio cd.

The dark dissolves distractions. The dark was the power that helped me make the connection with the people listening in the middle of those radio nights. The daylight is distracting.  That’s when you do the things you’ve got to do. Go to the places you’ve got to go. It’s like the “got tos” dissolve in the dark…in the night. The distractions disappear. You get to re-connect with…yourself. And if you get lucky…somebody else. That’s the way it felt to me…sitting in studio 2b in the middle of an otherwise dark New York skyscraper…talking to people…all across America. People who wanted to connect…and re-connect…in the night. They were just voices on the phone, but to me they all had faces…and I could see them clearly in the dark. Especially…for some reason…their eyes. 

“The Dark is from the Bedtime Stories personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Bedtime Stories Icon on the home page.

You can never tell what kind of magic will happen when it gets dark early…like on Halloween. A beautiful, sexy witch/warlock might show up at your front door in about ten minutes. Somebody might decide to give you the entire first season of “I Dream Of Jeannie” on dvds for Christmas/Hannukah/Quanza/Solstice. The Wicked Witch of the West might bring back your ruby slippers. On the other hand, some politician might show up and just take all your candy, then come back and ask for more.

Or…since diversions dissolve in the dark…maybe one of the faces that looks back at you out of the Halloween dark…might be yours…without all the diversions that usually take so much of your attention. What would your own face tell you… without it’s usual mask. Especially those eyes. You might see a tear. Or maybe they’ll look away. Or maybe they’ll just give you a funny little Haloween witchy, wink.

One Response to “Dick’s Halloween Dark Side”

  1. Dave V. says:

    Witchcraft…I know it’s strictly taboo.