Archive for August, 2016

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, August 21st, 2016
I have been sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly black leather poppa chair in my living room, cleverly disguised as a responsible adult for quite a while now. It has taken some time, but I have come to the “Been There Done That” place in my life. It’s a comfortable place. A place where I can safely sit back, breathe deeply and say Huh to the great confusions that are all around us. There’s an example in today’s podcast. I just saw a commercial that rates a big Huh. It’s a super on the screen that says the people in this commercial are real people not actors. As some of you know I have done more than my share of voiceovers for TV commercials. People who do TV voiceovers are called voice actors. So I am an actor, but the IRS seems to feel that I am never the less a real person, who better send them the appropriate tax on what I have been paid as an actor. That doesn’t affect very many people, so that just gets a single breath Huh? Some Huhs? will take two or three or more breaths.
united steaks

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, August 20th, 2016

My Lady Wonder Wench is…beautiful. But she never knew it. She used to hide behind her glasses. There’s a story about that in today’s podcast. She never knew how beautiful she was…is…always will be to me.There’s a sign at the airport that nailed it for guys. “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” Most of the guys at the airport are pretty much like me. Toy boys. I’ve been thinking about how different women are. I wonder if a similar statement for women might be…”Please don’t hide behind your glasses. Some boy playing with his toys really needs to find you.”

great perhaps

 

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, August 19th, 2016

It’s T.G.I.F. which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s threatening to take your toys away from you out the other ear, and you can get back to flying your Frisbee. In Texas, it is illegal to carry a sword or a knife into the State Legislature. A fully loaded AK-47 however is perfectly ok. If the answer is “There’s an argument going on at every table.” What’s the question? 53% of American women won’t leave the house without their make up on. And any divorce lawyer will tell you that a pretty good percentage of American men should check to see if they are leaving those women’s houses with their make up on. In Toronto, pedestrians on the sidewalk are supposed to give a hand signal before turning. In Brooklyn, everybody’s always giving each other hand signals. If the answer is “There’s an argument going on at every table” the question is “How do you know you’re in a family restaurant? Fun for the whole family. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or the spoken word cds at dick summer dot com, or my book staying Happy Healthy And Hot…available at Amazon dot com, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’ll be doing me a favor. thanks

welcome keep out

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, August 18th, 2016

When Wonder Wench came home the other night, she said…”leave me alone.” I think she was giving me some kind of hint. I am not good at hints. No guys are good at hints…even grown up, sophisticated, Louie-Louie Generation guys. As I said in today’s podcast, you live and learn. I have become better than some guys at taking hints. I realize, for example, that the words “leave me alone” mean it is probably not the time to suggest that my Lady Wonder Wench try on the little stringy black see-through thing I just bought her from the Victoria’s Secret catalogue. I did that once, and the conversation turned quite quickly to the possibility of a do-it-yourself removal of organs to which I have become quite accustomed. By the way, have you ever noticed that none of the girls in the Victoria’s Secret catalogue seem to be saying “leave me alone”? But I’ll bet that one of Victoria’s best kept secrets is that they all have done so…probably on more than one occasion. I like to think that one of the guys to whom she said it was George Clooney. Probably not.

horse stops

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, August 17th, 2016

Some of the guys who listen to my podcasts or read the blogs call me “Toy Boy” and they send me Emails about their toys. Proud PodCast Participant “R.J.S.” said, “I had a push pedal toy airplane. All the other kids had push pedal cars, but I had a push pedal airplane with wings and a propeller that went around when I peddled.” Good for you “R.J.S.”. Interestingly, I had one of those too. “Harry The Hat” said, “I just got a box of flat top golf tees. They’re for friends who are always mooching tees from you. The tops are flat and angled so you can’t tee up the ball.” Harry, that’s pretty good, but Toy Boy would like to suggest that you have some fake golf balls made of compressed talc to lend to the other guys. When they hit it, it would explode. That would be the perfect Toy Boy Touch. 

getting old

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, August 16th, 2016

I’ve had such a lucky…full of toys life. Most of my working life was spent playing at a radio station. In those days a radio station was one big toy with a microphone attached, and you had a bunch of friends around you cracking jokes and listening to music. I get to do the same thing now on my podcasts, playing with my microphone and talking about toys. And talk about toys, I’ve had my little four seat airplane at the airport for more than 20 years. And hey, I get to run my snow blower all over the neighborhood every winter …vroom, vroom.

f friy

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, August 15th, 2016

The sign on the wall at the airport today nailed the explanation for why we boys need to have toys. It’s in today’s podcast. The sign says, “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” That’s why God made the word Toy rhyme with the word Boy. Boys need toys. I keep telling you that. I suppose that’s why an Email one guy sent to me called me the,  “Toy Boy.” And I kind of like that name. Here’s what made me want to tell you about this. My Lady Wonder Wench and I were enjoying a charity pancake breakfast at the airport today, and one of the guys had nailed the sign up on the wall of his hanger. It said, “Don’t let the boy die before the man.” I don’t know who originally said that, but wow it’s just like Big Louie’s most important rule. Big Louie is the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation, and in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, he always says, “If you have any moving parts left, for cryin’ out loud, MOVE ‘EM.

planet needs me

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, August 14th, 2016

There is a good reason why God made the word “Boy” rhyme with the word “Toy.” It’s in today’s podcast

this end up

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, August 13th, 2016

Today’s podcast is about something that really happened the other night. I was just standing by my front door, and next thing I knew I was sitting on the floor. I assumed the push up position, and pushed. Mr. Floor didn’t budge. Very embarrassing. My Lady Wonder Wench tried to help me up, but I guess I’ve had too many fries with my burgers, and it wasn’t working. She called 911 and the great Pocopson Pa. Volunteer Fire department sent some folks over and they got me into bed. They’re like the lone ranger. They show up, do the job, and leave. Thanks guys. Turns out that I had a temporary ischemic attack. The doctors call it a TIA. It’s a mini stroke. They say a TIA doesn’t cause permanent brain damage. Glad about that. And it is definitely time to exercise the Gratitude/Attitude that I’ve been honking about in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. How about it happened at home, not while I was driving my car or flying my airplane. That could have been messy. And lots of you found out about it, and I got tons of encouraging emails. Very good. Those emails helped me stay focused on getting better. And I am.

pizza eater

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, August 12th, 2016

It’s T.G.I.F. That means it’s time for Dick’s Details, the most popular feature of today’s podcast. Dick’s Details…a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s keeping you awake at night out the other ear, and you can nod off comfortably to sleep. Only 3% of Americans read at least one book a year. The rest of them think TV is much gooder. The American Dental Society says one American out of every 9,000 has at least one crooked tooth. In some states, one crooked tooth would qualify as a flashy smile. Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher STUTTERD. Oh my God. Can you imagine going to a lecture given by a stuttering philosopher. It would go on for eternity…or at least for weeks. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

go sign