Wanna know why Herald Angels get all the attention and we don’t get any? It’s the word HARK! That word gets your attention. I like attention. That’s why I spent so many years on the radio, I guess. The attention… and the girls.  

I even met the girl who is now my Lady Wonder Wench because I was on the radio. She was in charge of the program log at the station I worked at in Boston.I used to screw up the log on purpose because I knew she’d have to come into the studio and throw me one of those “What IS the matter with you?” kind of looks, with those big baby blues turned up to stun. Then she’d look down at the log book and hide behind a curtain of that long, soft brown hair, and fix the mess I’d made. I actually caught her sneaking a look at me sneaking a look at her, one day. She thought I couldn’t see her behind that hair.

If I were a little faster in the head, I would have said, “HARK !” But some naturally occurring chemicals originating in places somewhat lower than my head always seemed to hinder my thinking when she was around.But, as usual, I digress. “How” you will ask, “can I work the word HARK into my everyday conversation, thereby becoming more Herald Angelic?” Well, have you ever noticed that when most of us are asked a question, we almost always start our answer with the word “WELL”? Even people on tv do it, as in… (Host) “Well, what’s the weather going to be like tomorrow, Al?” (Al) “Well….probably nice if it doesn’t snow or rain.” Even our leaders talk that way. (Vice President) “Well, what are you going to do today, George?” (President) “Well, Dick, mmmm… let’s check out those Iraqi oil wells.”You even hear it in hospitals, where nobody is really well. My buddy Al had a serious operation the other day. Fortunately, it was successful. We know that because when we asked the doctor, he said, “Well, he’s going to get well.” Swell.

So, as Big Louie his own bad self, always tells the members of the “Louie-Louie Generation”… “Say the hell with well… light a spark… with ‘hark.’ ”

Think what the word “hark” did for Jamie Lee Curtis’ father Tony… when he played the part of an arab sheik, and he uttered that unforgettable line… “Haawwk. Yonda lies da castle ov my fadda.” Were it not for that Brooklyn translation of the word Hark, Tony would be totally forgotten. And think how absolutely classy Rocky Balboa would have sounded saying “Hark” instead of “Yo.”

“Hark” is one of the reasons the herald angels got away with rhyming “Proclaim” with “Bethle-haim.” When you start a statement with HARK, you can say anything you like after it. Try it. “Hark, I’d like a raise.” “Hark, I found lipstick on your collar.” “Hark, I’m pregnant.” “Hark, I got fired.”

Saying “Hark” gets you attention. Of course, you’ll also get some attention when the weather outside is frightful, by going around dressed in your gay apparel, telling one and all, “fa-la-la-la-la.” Another way to get attention is to feed your guests roasted chestnuts. Have you ever tasted those things? Yeeech. Going for a ride in a one horse open sleigh on US-95 will do it too.

But HARK…maybe it’s because I’m an ex radio guy, but as much as I hate to keep harping on it…and as much as I wish them well…I see no reason at all why the Herald Angels should get all the attention…and the girls.

Dick’s Details Quiz. (All the answers are available in the current podcast at www.dicksummer.com

1- What will my Lady Wonder Wench and I be looking for while flying in our little airplane this week?

2- What did Father O’Connell give all the good little boys and girls in my grammar school? (”Hark…He must have skipped you” is not the answer.)

3- What was my Mom’s last Christmas gift?


3 – right – Hark !

2 – right – Well…

1 – right – Yo !

0 – right – ahhhhh….

Lots of mail about Christmas this week. Thank you for everyone who wrote. Proud PodCast Participant Lisa has a wonderful project going to help our troops on active duty. She’ll be glad to explain. Her email is kentuckystorms@newwavecomm.net   . Lisa is a good lady.

 I’d like to hear from everybody…your memories…the things you “wish you could do again” in this season. My e-mail is Dick@DickSummer.com

Whooops…HARK…I must include some of the wit of the season from Proud PodCast Participant Jim King:

What is Santa’s primary language? North Polish.
Where does Santa go swimming? The North Pool.
If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be? A Holly Davidson
What is Santa’s favorite breakfast cereal? Frosted Flakes.
How do Santa and Mrs. Claus get around? On an icicle built for two.

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas from my Lady Wonder Wench and “BigLouie, his own bad self.” Me too. Dick Summer

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