Two Natural Disasters, and One Natural Wonder

Strange week. Two natural disasters and a natural wonder all in the same week. That’s why the blog and podcast were late. I was sitting in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair the other day, and I felt the earth move. Really. An earthquake. I’ve felt the earth move before, but never when my Lady Wonder Wench was in some other room. My Lady Wonder Wench frequently creates testosterone tsunamis which cause hormonal power surges in guys all over our zip code. It is very difficult for me to describe what Lady Wonder Wench looks like without using my hands

 She is the kind of woman who probably started the custom of lovers holding hands. I don’t think holding hands is only about a feeling of being connected, because I’m not the only guy who occasionally seems to lose control of his hands in the company of certain members of the soft voiced, dangerously curved, estrogen enriched among us. I have long suspected that women sometime hold hands with us, so they can have some control over what that hand is doing…especially when we’re in public, or she has a headache, or she’s experiencing an intense desire to watch a George Clooney movie in peace.

 There’s a story in the Night Connections 3 personal audio cd about hands. In fact, it’s called…”Hands.”Hands can be much more honest than words. You can always tell if a woman wants you to hold her hand. She holds your hand right back…or not. I love holding my Lady Wonder Wench’s hand. The Pimple People don’t understand that about my Lady Wonder Wench and me. They can’t believe that Louie-Louie Generation folks like us can have a hot, sexy romance. They haven’t figured out that a person in your arms is worth two on the I phone. If a Pimple Person’s girlfriend leaves him, he just downloads a new ap for his Iphone, has an extra beer, yawns, and shaves one leg, so when he goes to bed, it feels like she’s still there.

 “Hands” is from the Night Connections 3 personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Night Connections 3 icon on the home page.

 My Lady Wonder Wench can eye kiss me from across a room with those blue eyes. She has a silky smile… sometimes sexy, sometimes just full of fun. She doesn’t wear lipstick any more…partially because she used to get uncomfortable when I watched her put it on. I thought it was funny.

 These days when I do something like that, I get a quick punch on the shoulder. But back when we were first going together, One day she caught a bad cold, so I figured I’d bring her some flowers, and make her a bowl of chicken soup. We’d had more than a few dates that went well, and a couple that went very well. So I didn’t think I’d have to call before I dropped in.  Therefore, I just rang her bell, and she answered the door…in her bathrobe and slippers with her hair up in curlers. I thought it was kind of nice, but it took her a week to stop blushing. And she has never used curlers since. And when she reads this blog, I’ll probably get a punch on both shoulders. With her new 68 pound handbag.

 She is the natural wonder in my life. I was doing some work around the house on Wednesday, and I found an old shirt of mine that I haven’t seen in years folded neatly on the top shelf of her closet. I asked her about it. She actually blushed, and she reminded me that a long time ago, we had to go our separate ways for a while. It was a lot of years ago…and it seems she had worn it to bed every night while we were apart. She said she pretended my arms were still in it, and that made her feel safe.

 Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

 1-    How come Hawaiian guys enjoy their weekends so much?

2-    What does Old Lyme Conn. have, that Washington D.C. must      never get ?

3-    Why will elephants never play MLB baseball ?

 Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

 The other natural disaster was the hurricane. An earthquake is like a drop dead great punch line. A hurricane is like a 500 page Tom Clancy novel. It takes a week till you know how the good guy beats the bad guys. Or IF the good guy beats the bad guys. You see a hurricane coming all the way across the Atlantic. The weather guys tease you about it. You try to guess who’s going to get hit…and sometimes it’s you.

 Unfortunately, sometimes the weather guys hype their story to the point where it seems like a work of fiction, and people treat it that way. “Evacuate? Hell no. Not me. I can ride it out…They don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s not going to be that bad.” And even more unfortunately, sometimes it is that bad. 

 I’m a pilot. We have to make go/no go weather decisions all the time. There’s an old pilot saying that goes: “Would you rather be stuck on the ground wishing you were up there having fun flying, or would you rather be up there flying wishing you were safe down on the ground?”

 I wasn’t taking any chances on that Natural Disaster with my Natural Wonder, Lady Wonder Wench. We have lots of beautiful trees on our property. Some of them are hanging right over our house.


So, I took her camping…at a nearby hotel… made of concrete and steel…with no trees over head…and room service…to ride it out. And let me tell you…there is a lot to be said for riding out a natural disaster in a hotel…with a natural Lady, like Wonder Wench.

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