The Attitude of Gratitude Connection 1-12-13
I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather papa chair in my living room, and my legs are hurting, and I’m trying to remember what my Lady Wonder Wench wanted me to do with her car tomorrow, and I’m looking at a blank page where the copy for a new TV commercial that’s due tomorrow is supposed to be…and in general, I’m feeling like an oldie-mouldy. Do you ever get that feeling? Like old age is creeking up on you. You feel like your social security number could be one. Like when God said, “Let there be light”…you were the one who flipped the switch. You feel yourself going from why not to why bother. You’re tempted to go to a dentist and have him put braces on your dentures to make you feel younger. Is that what’s bothering you? Huh? Does it seem like your wild oats have turned to shredded wheat? Don’t complain. Remember the Attitude/Gratitude Connection. As Big Louie, his own bad self says: “We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?”
George Carlin had a wonderful and very smart take on getting old. He said, “The most unfair thing about life is how it ends. Life is tough. What do you get at the end of it ? Death. What’s that, a bonus ? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get that out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work 40 years till your young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party hearty, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…and you finish off in an orgasm.” George Carlin was a Louie Louie kind of guy.
Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
1- What’s up in Texas between Alice and Louise?
2- Why would it be hard to start a rumor during a thermonuclear explosion?
3- What do guys and the Eiffel Tower have in common?
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
It’s sometimes a weird time of life now…finding yourself in the middle of a room and wondering, “Who am I and what am I doing here?” Getting down on the floor to do some push ups, and pushing…and having Mr. Floor totally ignore you. Finding yourself saying, “What?” a lot.
It happened so fast. Just when I figured I was getting my head together, my muscles fell off. Last year my doctor said “I think you should have a stress test so I can save your life.” I said ok. The first thing he did was give me a form to sign that said essentially that this life saving test could kill me, but I’m holding everybody in sight blameless. I signed it because I figured if I’m dead why should I care. Then he started the treadmill; every few minutes the speed and the angle went up. I was sweating pretty good, but I was keeping up. So I asked the doctor what’s the record for this thing. He said 27 minutes. So I put my head down and got into it. But when I hit 17 minutes HE STOPPED THE DAMN THING. I said…WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? And he said it. The thing I HATE. He said “You did very well FOR A GUY YOUR AGE.” If he had been standing one foot closer, I’d have grabbed his stethoscope and blown Revile right in his ears.
There are lots of advantages to being a member of the Louie Louie Generation, not the least of which is called, “Been There, Done That.” But it’s also true that you find yourself doing some things that you didn’t do before. And you don’t like all of them. There’s a story about that from the Night Connections Personal Audio CD in the current podcast. It’s a fast lesson in how quickly our lives slip away. And, been there, done that. I know how that woman’s husband felt when he woke up that morning. I bet he stopped on the way home from work, and bought her some flowers.
“The Slip Away Wife” is from the Night Connections Personal Audio CD. If you like it you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just and download it from the Night Connections icon on the home page.
The Attitude/Gratitude Connection. There’s a lot about it in my book, Staying Happy, Healthy And Hot. It’s a big part of the difference between the proud members of the Louie Louie Generation and those Dreadful, Dreary Drones. It’s the difference between being not young, and being old. It’s not really the years at all. My friend Paul Berge nailed it in his introduction to my book. He said, “Louie Louie Folks may not always remember where we put the car keys, or where we put the car for that matter. But we feel pretty good about the fact that we do have a car…somewhere.” We have an attitude of gratitude. Lots of folks don’t look at their lives that way. Lots of folks hate the fact that the years have been piling up on them.
Maybe instead of letting their oldie-mouldy feelings eat up the rest of their lives, they should try an attitude of gratitude for all those years. Lots of people don’t get to complain about all their years. Like those kids in Connecticut who never got to go to a record hop and dance to Louie Louie, or drive a car, or fall in love and bring someone flowers.
You know it when the waitress at dunkies gives the senior discount and you say who me.
Yes but not as bad as the sweet young woman who smiled at me on the “T” (public transit) and then offered me her seat… damn her, but I smiled back and said “no, thank you”.