The Dreaded Moose Hunter Story

I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather pappa chair, seriously considering telling you my favorite joke. My Lady Wonder Wench calls it, “The Deadly Moose Hunter Joke.” And she says she hates it, but she likes it when I ask her to do the punch line. Maybe that’s because she knows when she does that, it’s over. I like my moose hunter story so much that I tell it when I notice somebody is feeling a little…fizzled. A little fizzle sneaks into every life. Usually it’s little stuff. Somebody sends you a get well card, and you get a paper cut from opening it. You wake up in the morning, and you realize it’s Monday. You rent a porn movie and your partner falls asleep watching it. That’s a fizzle. I figure one way to fix a fizzle is to come up with a giggle. And my moose hunter joke is usually good for a giggle.

 That’s why I like to get some giggles into this blog and podcast. I want to help switch your fizzle into a quiet late night sizzle. Most stuff on the internet is about what people think. This blog and podcast is about how you and I feel…us…Louie-Louie Generation people. The Pimple People can’t believe we still have feelings. And they’re the same feelings the songs sing about. Loving, losing, sometimes winning, sometimes getting knocked down…but always getting up and  getting strong again, laughing, crying, having some fun with people who care that you’re around, and knowing those folks will also be there for you when you’re not laughing.

 I got a note from proud podcast participant Lovely Lisa from Kentucky the other day. She’s a young mother who asked if she’s too young to be a Louie-Louie Lady. And the answer to that is…she is a shoo in. All young people are not necessarily Pimple- People. Louie-Louie-hood is mostly about ‘Tude. Attitude.

 We like being dreamers, even though some of our dreams are so old, they’re in black and white. And some of them are so private that they’re silent. We respect the difference between dreams and fantasies by the way. A fantasy is something that you know can’t happen. Not ever. A dream…well…who knows. Maybe…if we work hard enough…maybe.

 Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-    How do we know Americans are good in the sack?

2-    What significance does PEZOLFTD have to your next physical exam ?

3-    What does Yehaa mean in lots of languages?

4-     Why did the Powers For Good In The Community want to change the word “pollex” to “thumb?”

 Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

 Every life needs some sizzle. There’s a story about that in the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd, and in the current podcast. It’s called, The Joy Of Giving Thanks.” I wouldn’t be surprised if the woman in the story put a lot of time and effort, and sizzle into giving thanks that night. And the night after too I’ll bet. The Joy Of Giving Thanks is from the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Night Connections 2 icon on the home page.  

 Oh yeah…the dreaded and dreadful moose hunter story that Lady Wonder Wench hates so much, but loves doing the punch line.

 There were two guys who were absolutely crazy about moose hunting. Each year, they took an airliner up to Moose Jaw, Canada, and chartered a bush plane to take them to their special lake to hunt. So this year, up in Moose Jaw, they saw a guy with a single engine airplane on floats, and they went over to him and said, we’d like to go to this lake for some moose hunting…and showed him a map of the lake they went to every year. The pilot said…”I don’t know. That’s a pretty small lake to get my airplane into.” So the one hunter said, “Well last year, we chartered a bush plane that looks like this and we went.” So the pilot said, “Well, if any bush pilot can do it, I certainly can. Get in the plane” So they did. And after a while they spotted the lake…and the pilot very carefully put the plane down on the surface, and just managed to stop as the pontoons were about to hit the other shore. The hunters got out, and said come back and get us next week.

 The next week, the pilot went back, and looking down, he saw these guys waving up at him with two enormous, dead moose. So he landed the plane on the lake again…very carefully…and he said, “Look guys, this is a very small lake, and those are very heavy moose….” And before he even finished, the one moose hunter said, “Well last year at this time….” And the pilot said…ok. If any bush pilot can do it, I can.

 So they strapped one moose to the left pontoon, and the other moose to the right pontoon, and the guys got in the plane. The pontoons were almost under water. The pilot starts the engine. The plane is sluggish in the water…the other shore is getting closer and closer…the pilot pulls back…and the plane staggers into the air. Just as they almost take off safely, the left wing hits a tree, and the plane goes down, knocking out all on board. Fortunately, nobody is seriously hurt. One moose hunter wakes up and looks around. Then the other moose hunter wakes up, and asks the first guy, “Where are we?” The first guy says…”We’re about a hundred feet from where we were last year at this time.”

 OOOOhhh I love that story. That story sizzles. Especially when my Lady Wonder Wench does the punch line. Lady Wonder Wench is the punch line in the whole story of my life.

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