The Dick Summer (re) Connection – Chapter 19
Lots of you sent very nice notes about the Allison Steele article last time. Thank you. Yes, she was quite a lady. Kinda doubt if there will ever be anybody quite like her.
CAUTION – There will be a few “Adult” references in the following discussion. “Adult” in this case means not for Aunt Tilly. (Although I bet if Aunt Tilly thought nobody was watching, she might take a quick peek.)
There are a few real lessons you have to learn to survive for any length of time on the air. One of them goes something like this: You’re going to screw up sometimes, right on mic/camera, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s human nature. When it happens, the best thing to do is just forget about it and keep on going. If you forget it, so will the audience. The security of the Free World doesn’t depend on anything you say anyway. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll get fired. And that’s going to happen eventually anyway. Some people never learn that lesson.
Back in my tv days, there was an announcer we’ll call Gene. (Because that was really his name. No protection for the innocent here.) Gene was an easy going, super nice guy, with one of those voices that every boy tries to grow, as soon as he starts en-pimple-ating, so he can whisper really neat ideas into his girl’s ear. When Gene said “Hi,” every woman within ear shot answered, “Yes, yes, yes, whatever you want.” Or at least that’s how it seemed to me. Gene was a “booth announcer.” That’s the guy who does the station breaks between programs and does any live on-camera commercials that need to be done…preferably in a voice that makes every woman within ear shot…well, you understand. Gene was a very experienced and very professional announcer. But he had one VERY bad habit. Every time he “kicked” a word, he’d repeat that word until he got it right. He didn’t “kick” words very often, but when he did, it was always the same routine. It didn’t matter much most of the time. It made his delivery a little choppy, but it was never a big deal until he won an audition to do live commercials for Arrow Shirts. It was a very competitive audition. Lots of guys wanted that highly prestigious account.
Gene was a tall, slim, nice looking guy, and Arrow Shirts figured they had a winner. And they did…except for that one VERY bad habit. And it struck the very first night Gene did an Arrow Shirts commercial live on the 6pm news. Since it was the first night for the big new account, the agency people, the client’s people, the station program people and even the General Manager were all crowded into the control room to watch Gene’s first performance. I had just finished my TV Dance Party show, and I hung out in the control room to watch the big debut. Gene was carefully made up, one golden lock of hair devilishly dangling on his forehead, suit jacket pressed to “stun,” and finely chiseled features turned to just the right camera angle.
The red camera light came on, the floor guy cued Gene. Gene flashed his famous smile and said in that wonderful, slightly suggestive bass rumble that originated somewhere down deep in his shorts… “Tonight’s 6 PM news is presented by Arrow shits. SHITS. SHITS. SHITS. SHITS.” At about the sixth repetition of the offending word, the switcher regained enough use of his index finger to reach up from where he had fallen to the floor laughing, to push the button and take poor Gene off the air. TV was so much more fun when it was live.
Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything to get into trouble when you’re on the air live. After I got fired at WTMX in Chicago, I had a show on a radio network which had a bunch of small southern stations for affiliates. It was a talk show. But even on a talk show there are short instrumental musical segments known as “bumpers” which help the local stations to cut away for their commercials and then return to the network feed. If their timing is a little off, they can fade the music up to make the transition smooth. I like all kinds of music except rap, but jazz Tenor Sax is probably my favorite. So my first night on the new network, I used lots of cuts from my favorite Sil Austin album for the “bumpers.” Bright and early the next morning, the network program director was on the phone…screaming…”you lost half our affiliates with that dirty music you were playing.” You really can’t make this stuff up. Aunt Tilly’s Little Old Ladies In Sneakers For Violent Action Committee Holy Hotshots were convinced that the lyrics of anything that sounded like the stuff I was playing must have reeked with SEX. And as everyone knows, all Bible Belts are kept securely fastened at all times, therefore there is no sex allowed south of Nashville, Tenn. Does the entire region depend on Virgin Birth for its population renewal ?
UNCALLED FOR OBSERVATION: Hit a nerve with my comment about God last time. Lots of Emails. ( www.DickSummer.com ) To clarify: You bet I believe in God. But I’ve lost all faith in all religions, including the one in which I was raised. I think God is MUCH too big to fit in ANY book. So I no longer try to “do His work.” I’m convinced that He’s perfectly capable of doing it Himself. So now I just try to do my own work. I like making people feel comfortable and cared for. Which of course includes respecting other people’s feelings about their religion. What do you like doing ?
Here’s an interesting answer from Proud Podcast Participant Big Jim from Saugus:
Glad to hear someone being “Up-Front” about breasts. I always find it amazing that our society is totally fixated on bazooms, the larger the better. We are besieged with cleavage wherever we look, sales ads, movie and TV promos and programs, and plastic surgeons are more than willing to install dual Mount Everests on any female who is eager and has the $$$$. Yet, let one enterprising young mother whip one of those suckers out in public and commence feeding a young infant, all hell breaks loose. Tons of smutty crap may be dumped on us regularly and it is tolerated without as much as a whimper, but the sight of the back of a little tot’s cranium nestled softly against his natural God given source of proper nutrition sends people screaming out into the streets.
Speaking of God:…You Bonehead!!! You state that we’re just getting in HIS way when we try to help.
First of all, CAVEMAN,who ever told you that God is a male??? The world we live in is totally screwed up and is run universally by males. I’m figuring that if God has a gender, it is probably female.
Secondly, life is not a chess game controlled by God. We are here for a purpose. Ever hear of “FREE WILL”?? The choices mankind makes have a huge and direct impact on our daily lives and our collective future. If for one minute I believed that God controls everything on this plane and that I didn’t have a chance to change things for the better, I would start playing Russian Roulette with every chamber filled. If God has been running everything in this world, the Great One definitely hasn’t achieved his GED yet. Our help has become nesessary and needed now, more than ever. I heartily suggest that you don a lightning-proof helmit!!! Jim.
More about this next time. If you’d like to join the discussion, just drop a note into the “comments” section of this blog, or send a note to www.dick@dicksummer.com
Special note from Glenn (Long Island)…Hi Dick,
I loved your piece on Alison Steele. Her warmth and wisdom breathed beyond the radio dial. I recall a time she aided a friend of mine after his mom committed suicide. Her words of comfort helped him carry on and enabled him to live on as one of the kindest, happiest souls I’ve ever met.
TAKE CONTROL PATROL: Lesson learned as a small plane pilot: The first thing to do when you get scared is…nothing. Then after you’ve done nothing for an instant, take a deep breath. It’ll calm you down enough to THINK. Thinking is good when you’ve got a problem. Doing stuff first and THEN thinking when you’re flying a plane causes lots of sudden stops and loud noises. Same could be said for facing a crisis at work, or looking up at some big nasty guy carrying a monkey wrench in a dark alley at 3AM. (How come you were fooling around in a dark alley at 3AM in the first place ?)
FUN PODPROGRAM QUIZ:
Click here to find the answers to these questions in the “Dick’s Details” part of the current PodProgram.
1- Which is the only continent that has never been the site of a war?
2- What does everybody do every two to ten seconds?
3- How many messages do your senses send to your brain every second?
4- According to Dick’s Details research, about how often will you blow your nose this year ?
Your comments, thoughts, suggestions or contributions of $100,000 or more should be sent to: Dick@DickSummer.com
Next time: WHY I’M REALLY DOING THIS.
There are a few real lessons you have to learn to survive for any length of time on the air. One of them goes something like this: You’re going to screw up sometimes, right on mic/camera, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s human nature. When it happens, the best thing to do is just forget about it and keep on going. If you forget it, so will the audience. The security of the Free World doesn’t depend on anything you say anyway. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll get fired. And that’s going to happen eventually anyway. Some people never learn that lesson.
Back in my tv days, there was an announcer we’ll call Gene. (Because that was really his name. No protection for the innocent here.) Gene was an easy going, super nice guy, with one of those voices that every boy tries to grow, as soon as he starts en-pimple-ating, so he can whisper really neat ideas into his girl’s ear. When Gene said “Hi,” every woman within ear shot answered, “Yes, yes, yes, whatever you want.” Or at least that’s how it seemed to me. Gene was a “booth announcer.” That’s the guy who does the station breaks between programs and does any live on-camera commercials that need to be done…preferably in a voice that makes every woman within ear shot…well, you understand. Gene was a very experienced and very professional announcer. But he had one VERY bad habit. Every time he “kicked” a word, he’d repeat that word until he got it right. He didn’t “kick” words very often, but when he did, it was always the same routine. It didn’t matter much most of the time. It made his delivery a little choppy, but it was never a big deal until he won an audition to do live commercials for Arrow Shirts. It was a very competitive audition. Lots of guys wanted that highly prestigious account.
Gene was a tall, slim, nice looking guy, and Arrow Shirts figured they had a winner. And they did…except for that one VERY bad habit. And it struck the very first night Gene did an Arrow Shirts commercial live on the 6pm news. Since it was the first night for the big new account, the agency people, the client’s people, the station program people and even the General Manager were all crowded into the control room to watch Gene’s first performance. I had just finished my TV Dance Party show, and I hung out in the control room to watch the big debut. Gene was carefully made up, one golden lock of hair devilishly dangling on his forehead, suit jacket pressed to “stun,” and finely chiseled features turned to just the right camera angle.
The red camera light came on, the floor guy cued Gene. Gene flashed his famous smile and said in that wonderful, slightly suggestive bass rumble that originated somewhere down deep in his shorts… “Tonight’s 6 PM news is presented by Arrow shits. SHITS. SHITS. SHITS. SHITS.” At about the sixth repetition of the offending word, the switcher regained enough use of his index finger to reach up from where he had fallen to the floor laughing, to push the button and take poor Gene off the air. TV was so much more fun when it was live.
Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything to get into trouble when you’re on the air live. After I got fired at WTMX in Chicago, I had a show on a radio network which had a bunch of small southern stations for affiliates. It was a talk show. But even on a talk show there are short instrumental musical segments known as “bumpers” which help the local stations to cut away for their commercials and then return to the network feed. If their timing is a little off, they can fade the music up to make the transition smooth. I like all kinds of music except rap, but jazz Tenor Sax is probably my favorite. So my first night on the new network, I used lots of cuts from my favorite Sil Austin album for the “bumpers.” Bright and early the next morning, the network program director was on the phone…screaming…”you lost half our affiliates with that dirty music you were playing.” You really can’t make this stuff up. Aunt Tilly’s Little Old Ladies In Sneakers For Violent Action Committee Holy Hotshots were convinced that the lyrics of anything that sounded like the stuff I was playing must have reeked with SEX. And as everyone knows, all Bible Belts are kept securely fastened at all times, therefore there is no sex allowed south of Nashville, Tenn. Does the entire region depend on Virgin Birth for its population renewal ?
UNCALLED FOR OBSERVATION: Hit a nerve with my comment about God last time. Lots of Emails. ( www.DickSummer.com ) To clarify: You bet I believe in God. But I’ve lost all faith in all religions, including the one in which I was raised. I think God is MUCH too big to fit in ANY book. So I no longer try to “do His work.” I’m convinced that He’s perfectly capable of doing it Himself. So now I just try to do my own work. I like making people feel comfortable and cared for. Which of course includes respecting other people’s feelings about their religion. What do you like doing ?
Here’s an interesting answer from Proud Podcast Participant Big Jim from Saugus:
Glad to hear someone being “Up-Front” about breasts. I always find it amazing that our society is totally fixated on bazooms, the larger the better. We are besieged with cleavage wherever we look, sales ads, movie and TV promos and programs, and plastic surgeons are more than willing to install dual Mount Everests on any female who is eager and has the $$$$. Yet, let one enterprising young mother whip one of those suckers out in public and commence feeding a young infant, all hell breaks loose. Tons of smutty crap may be dumped on us regularly and it is tolerated without as much as a whimper, but the sight of the back of a little tot’s cranium nestled softly against his natural God given source of proper nutrition sends people screaming out into the streets.
Speaking of God:…You Bonehead!!! You state that we’re just getting in HIS way when we try to help.
First of all, CAVEMAN,who ever told you that God is a male??? The world we live in is totally screwed up and is run universally by males. I’m figuring that if God has a gender, it is probably female.
Secondly, life is not a chess game controlled by God. We are here for a purpose. Ever hear of “FREE WILL”?? The choices mankind makes have a huge and direct impact on our daily lives and our collective future. If for one minute I believed that God controls everything on this plane and that I didn’t have a chance to change things for the better, I would start playing Russian Roulette with every chamber filled. If God has been running everything in this world, the Great One definitely hasn’t achieved his GED yet. Our help has become nesessary and needed now, more than ever. I heartily suggest that you don a lightning-proof helmit!!! Jim.
More about this next time. If you’d like to join the discussion, just drop a note into the “comments” section of this blog, or send a note to www.dick@dicksummer.com
Special note from Glenn (Long Island)…Hi Dick,
I loved your piece on Alison Steele. Her warmth and wisdom breathed beyond the radio dial. I recall a time she aided a friend of mine after his mom committed suicide. Her words of comfort helped him carry on and enabled him to live on as one of the kindest, happiest souls I’ve ever met.
TAKE CONTROL PATROL: Lesson learned as a small plane pilot: The first thing to do when you get scared is…nothing. Then after you’ve done nothing for an instant, take a deep breath. It’ll calm you down enough to THINK. Thinking is good when you’ve got a problem. Doing stuff first and THEN thinking when you’re flying a plane causes lots of sudden stops and loud noises. Same could be said for facing a crisis at work, or looking up at some big nasty guy carrying a monkey wrench in a dark alley at 3AM. (How come you were fooling around in a dark alley at 3AM in the first place ?)
FUN PODPROGRAM QUIZ:
Click here to find the answers to these questions in the “Dick’s Details” part of the current PodProgram.
1- Which is the only continent that has never been the site of a war?
2- What does everybody do every two to ten seconds?
3- How many messages do your senses send to your brain every second?
4- According to Dick’s Details research, about how often will you blow your nose this year ?
Your comments, thoughts, suggestions or contributions of $100,000 or more should be sent to: Dick@DickSummer.com
Next time: WHY I’M REALLY DOING THIS.