The Dick Summer (re) Connection – Chapter 15

When Popeye gets an idea, a light bulb goes on over his head. Same with me. Here are some of the great bulb lightings in my life:

“One small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” A truly great quote from Neil Armstrong. I’ve been a pilot since 1983. He’s a PILOT. His flight changed humans from the great, great, great grandchildren of monkeys into a race of space travelers.

“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two aspirin and keep away from children.” An almost great quote from my friend Robert whose wife just presented him with a tiny bundle of wet, stinky noisy joy.

“I’ve never heard anybody who communicates like you do. But we’re not doing that kind of radio anymore. You can take your picture from the lobby with you.” A quote from WNBC Radio Program Director Bob Pittman when he fired me. Bob was from Chicago, and he was faced with replacing the entire staff of New York guys like Imus, Cousin Brucie, and yours truly with his own team of top forty guys, plus his girlfriend who “replaced” Imus in morning drive. The picture he was talking about was a painting NBC had done of all the guys on the air which was hanging in the lobby in the RCA Building. I did take it, and it’s now on the wall of my office.

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to catch the infant without even considering if there is a man on base” A sly fun loving quote from Dave Barry.

“You have a great voice, but you don’t give me any reason to listen to you instead of the other guy playing top forty on (another station.)” Another “you’re fired” quote, this time from WIL St. Louis Program Director (and D.J. Great) Jack Carney to Dick Summer. That was wonderful advice, and it changed my way of looking at disc jockeying. I was a young kid straight out of College, and way over my head at WIL. Jack, and Bob Osborne, and Dick Clayton were the backbone of a sparkling top forty staff, and I was there for what turned out to be a cup of coffee. But I brought that idea with me to WIBC in Indianapolis. (See last week’s Blog.) And it eventually got me to WBZ in Boston.

“Relationships are hard. They’re like a full time job, and we should treat them as such. If your significant other wants to leave you, he/she should give you two weeks’ notice, there should be severance pay, and the day before they leave they should find you a temp.” A words of wisdom quote from proud (re) Connection and pod program participant Jim from Saugus Mass.

“I’m firing you and giving you some important advice. No matter what it says on your pay check, every body is working for himself.” Another “let’s fire Dick” quote, this time from WCPO Cincinnati Radio General Manager and Channel 9 personality Colin Male, to Dick Summer. A Good Advice quote whether you’re playing records on the radio, bagging goodies at a Wal-Mart, or doing brain surgery. What he meant was, “sure it’s about money, but don’t forget it’s also about pride. And don’t expect the company to have any regard for anything you’ve done for us. Business is business. And that’s business.”

“If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.” A bulls-eye quote from the late and very great Johnny Carson.

“It would be sexy if they weren’t married.” A confusing quote from WBZ secretary Pat Randall about the characters in a story I did on the air. Fortunately, WBZ Program Director Al Heacock had more important things on his mind, and he didn’t have one of those recurring “let’s fire Dick” quotes.

“The problem with the designated driver program, is, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into it, have some fun. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong houses.” A good quote to remember just before final call from Jeff Foxworthy.

“Whatever you want.” A long ago quote that got my full attention from a beautiful, buxom, blue eyed lady I now call my lady Wonder Wench.

“You don’t look like you sound.” A quote every radio guy hears when out doing a remote broadcast.

“Call any time. It’s never too late to call.” An “I really love you” quote from the same beautiful, buxom blue eyed lady when our lives were really screwed up.

“Do you know why they call it ‘P.M.S.?’ Because ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was taken.” An insightful quote from Dick Summer Communications Executive Deborah Parenti.

“Whatever you want.” Another amazing quote from Pretty Blue Eyes when I got fired at WNBC, and I told her I was thinking of quitting radio and opening a Hypnotherapy practice…which I did. We called it Quiet Decisions, and she helped to make it an 18 year success.

“If we quit voting, maybe they’ll all just go away.” An election season quote from the little guy who sits up in the back of my head after ANOTHER dumb political commercial. Why do they have to be so stupid ? Why do they expect us to buy the idea that the opposition candidate is a wartime traitor who sells little orphans into slavery and taxes their mother’s meager salary BECAUSE THAT’S THE KIND OF GUY HE IS?

“Stand for something.” A quote from the only hero I ever had, my dad. There’s a “stand for something” story on the current

podprogram

that I think he would have liked. Maybe you will too.

If you have any great quotes, or suggestions, or excess cash, my email address is www.dick@dicksummer.com I’d love to hear from you.

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2 Responses to “The Dick Summer (re) Connection – Chapter 15”

  1. Dick, one of my favorite quotes came from you! You may recall (or may not) my performing at the Unicorn Coffeehouse Hoot nights that you were MCing in the mid-sixties. I once asked you your opinion of my performance, and you said “I’d describe your performance as ‘enthusiastic’!” I did get the message and did not try to make a career out of music! 🙂

    You were a huge influence on me (both there and in my brief radio career on WBCN) – thanks and it’s great to see you online.
    Mitchell Kertzman

  2. Ed Cochran says:

    “Effective immediately, your new radio name will be J. Paul Montgomery. May you learn to love it!”
    Dick Summer, P.D., WMEX, Boston (per order of owner Mac Richmond)to me, circa 1970.