The Dick Summer Connection – June 8, 2008

I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather papa chair in my living room…and I’ll probably spend the night sitting right here… because hostilities have broken out between my Lady Wonder Wench and me. It’s hard to believe, but for the first time since all those years ago when I first hung my old pair of jeans next to hers on the hook on the bedroom door…we won’t be sleeping together…on purpose…and it’s making my teeth ache.I guess I’m making a big deal out of a bunch of little things. One too many answers that sounded a little too sharp this morning…a couple of smiles that looked a little less than loving today…and just now… going to bed alone instead of waiting for me.

My Lady Wonder Wench walked into my life as if my life were a castle and she was the queen who always belonged there. It has been lots of laughs and love and tears…for a lot of years. She’s beautiful, and sexy, and courageous…hell, she even flies with me in my little airplane… she’s smart…she knows the answers before I know the questions…she scratches my back in exactly the right places, she feeds me home made potato salad with lots of onions, and she always seems to know when to say yes, when to say no, and when to say whoopie. But sometimes she doesn’t seem to know when to say I’m sorry. And this time I’m not going to say it for her.

One of the things I like about doing this blog is that I get to remind my fellow members of the Louie-Louie Generation about some of the honest teachings of Big Louie, his own bad self. For example…”The best things in life aren’t things”…and, “Just because you haven’t had to make out in a car for awhile…your sex drive doesn’t have to get stuck in park. ” Lots of folks have a problem with that one. But it’s true.

So it’s honesty time. Remember the formula please…T + M = H. Truth plus Maybe equals Honesty. My Lady Wonder Wench and I have been together for decades, but almost every time she walks into the room she sets off my body’s fire sprinkler system. Almost every time. And when the system fails…I’ve found that the best way to fix it is with some laughs. Big Louie knows that too. He says, if you don’t laugh at yourself, your girlfriend/boyfriend gets the job. I’d rather do it myself… thank you very much. Well…I haven’t been up for any giggles and she’s missed her cue this time.

Men are descended from apes. But I don’t think women are. Leave a guy alone long enough and he gets ugly, hairy and nasty. Women don’t. Where did we get women?

Dick’s Details Quiz…all answers are in the current PodCast at

1- What’s the item that’s most difficult to flush down your toilet?

2- Why do kids laugh 27 times as often as adults?

3- What’s a leading cause of space whiplash?


3- Right – Lifetime Lover

2- Right – Lover

1- Right – Confused Lover

0- Right – Left Lover

I get the feeling that I could be declared legally stupid for sitting out here in my chair while my Lady is sleeping in the bedroom. But if I go in there right now, I know I won’t be able to keep from kissing her. Kisses are like tears. You can’t stop the real ones. What’s that line from the Neil Diamond song…something about pride is the number one cause for the decline in the number of husbands and wives.

I didn’t marry my Lady just because I knew I could live with her. I married her because I knew I couldn’t live without her. We speak the same language, but sometimes it seems we use different dictionaries.

That’s dumb…isn’t it.

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