The Dick Summer Connection – July 29, 2007

If young bodies are like temples, Louie-Louie Generation bodies are generally more like auto repair shops…except for certain Louie-Louie Generation ladies with their own unique architecture …like Sophia Loren, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and my Lady Wonder Wench.You have no choice about becoming a member of “The Greatest Generation”, “Generation X” or the “Baby Boomers”…it simply depends on how old you are…you’re either a member or you’re not. You can JOIN the Louie-Louie Generation if you feel like it. Age is obviously a factor. If you’re a kid, you’re not going to know anything about “Louie-Louie”. But attitude is even more important than age.For example…there are Louie-Louie guys and girls my age who are ever so grateful that wrinkles don’t hurt…and we know we’re definitely into the third act of the play…but we’re still getting enough applause for our performances …so it’s ok. But there are also Louie-Louie Generation guys and girls who are just noticing that the bite marks on their legs are getting higher as their kids get taller…the girls are putting their bikinis away in a mothball, and the guys are beginning to lose the hair on their heads, and growing it in silly places like the tops of their ears.

Sometimes it takes a “Rubber Glove Moment” to make us realize that maybe it’s time to join the Louie-Louie Generation. Rubber gloves are the worst kind of gloves…any guy who has ever gone for a physical knows that. And my Lady Wonder Wench says they’re also part of a “pap smear” that’s not exactly a fun run either. Rubber Glove Moments are usually quick…it’s like you wake up screaming, but all of a sudden you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

I had a “Rubber Glove Moment” again this morning when I saw the guy in the shaving mirror. I’m 25 years old…on the inside. It’s been a long time since I’ve been 25 years old on the outside…and wow…this morning the lighting must have been really honest. It’s kind of funny that nobody wants to get older, but nobody wants to die young either. What’s the choice ? Maybe a better question is, which guy is which.

“Big Louie his own bad self” told me, “Maybe it’s up to you who is Mr. Summer and who is Mr. Hyde.” “Big Louie” likes that word “maybe”… because he’s not comfortable in the Guru-Savior-Infallible category of Wise Guy. He likes a “try it out and see if it works for you” way of looking at life. I do too. He says, “Honesty… is The Truth… times Maybe.” And: “Maybe nobody cares that you’re shy.” And: “Maybe you can’t drown in your own sweat.” I think the Wizard of Oz must have taken Big Louie aside one day…and left him standing there.

So how will you know if you’re Louie-Louie Generation material? If you answer yes to most of the following questions, the answer is… maybe you are. 1- You take a look at the dating web sites…e harmony dot com and such…and you notice that everybody is romantic and likes walking in the rain…but you recently looked outside and noticed that it’s raining…and although under your shirt you would dearly like to be a sea of hickies…you’re not going to do it if it means walking out there getting wet? 2- Have you all of a sudden noticed that you are watching the Weather Channel more than you’re watching VH1? 3- If you’re a guy, do you find that you’re keeping more food than beer in the fridge? 4- If you’re a girl, do you get kind of a kick out of the fact that I just called you a girl instead of a woman? 5- When you go to the drug store these days, is it more often for ibuprofen and antacid instead of a pregnancy test? 6- Do you now feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s left overs? 7- In high school, did you tend to spend a little more time in detention than most of your friends? 8- When you were a kid, did you have your own favorite speaker spot at the drive-in movie? 9- Have you ever watched the tv newscasts and thought to yourself, “I don’t often pray, but if you’re really up there please save us, Batman”? 10 – (Worth 3 points) Do you WANNA ?

So…HOW DID YOU DO ? Let me know please. My Email is Dick@DickSummer.com   

Dick’s Details Quiz – all answers are available in the current PodCast at www.dicksummer.com

1- What’s the main reason you might not want to pour kitty litter into your shoes at night?

2- What will you get if you eat 10,957 apples?

3- What should you never do with a rubber glove?

Scoring:

3 Right – Gotcha with that “hickies” bit, didn’t I?

2-Right – You know what singer’s name rhymes with “pelvis.”

1-Right – The dog ate your homework.

0-Right – You think “Batman” has something to do with the New York Mets.

PS – How come we get dressed in the clothes we wear for work, drive through traffic in a car we’re still paying for, to get to a job that we need in order to pay for the clothes, the car, and the house we’re not in because…we’re at work? How come I saw a guy at the airport…and just before he walked through the metal detector, he looked down at the plastic ID tag he was wearing like he was checking to be sure who he is? And how come you’re dirty, filthy and depraved if you like sex, but we’re supposed to save sex for those we really love?

If you have any good answers for any of the above, please contact me immediately at  Dick@DickSummer.com

 

 

2 Responses to “The Dick Summer Connection – July 29, 2007”

  1. Dave says:

    Sometimes putting on the work gloves are like buying the paint. As in, “I bought the paint, so I must be making some real progress on this project”.
    Dave

  2. Dick Stadlen says:

    Apparently you and I are staring into the same mirror! I don’t recognize
    > the
    > person looking back at me, either.
    >
    > I was up reaally, reaaally early this morning (or really late last night,
    > depending upon whether you see the glass as half awake or half asleep). I
    > flipped on TV and stopped at The Tube because I noticed a bunch of really
    > ancient and wrinkly men who appeared to be doing a parody of a rock band.
    > Then I started listening to the music and looking more closely at the
    > people
    > on the screen… and it suddenly dawned on me that I was watching a 2005
    > reunion performance of “White Room” by Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker and
    > Cream!
    >
    > Talk about a sudden case of “hip” replacement.
    >
    > I had my own “rubber glove moment” a couple of Friday’s ago. Maybe I
    > was
    > preoccupied, but I really wasn’t expecting “the finger”. All I could think
    > of
    > was I wish I’d’ve been able to stick a glass eye “up there” before he took
    > a
    > look in.
    >