The Dick Summer Connection – December 16, 2007

HARK ! Led Zeppelin makes a comeback.  Mother Theresa admits she didn’t keep the faith. The Yankees fire Joe Torre. Gas heads for $4.00 a gallon. Tony Soprano packs it in. Don Imus gets fired. Don Imus gets hired. Spam becomes 95% of all E-mails. Steroids make some of us think of chucking our baseball cards. Stem cell research explodes. It looks like a woman or a black guy may be our next president. And the beat goes on in Baghdad. Who’d have thought it.

What a year.Those were some of the big stories. We all had little stories. I got to tell you some of mine. The plastic potato popgun war with Randy next door…losing the tickets to the spring training games…my non-cosmetic shnoz-ectomy…passing my flight physical…the Peter, Paul & Mary concert…the formation of the Louie-Louie Generation and the appointment of Big Louie, his own bad self, as its Consultant… scoring at best a draw when going Mano-a-Mouseo…and of course, lots of stories about my Lady Wonder Wench.

If you’re new to the Dick Summer Connection, you might be interested to know that my Lady Wonder Wench is a smart, beautiful, sassy wife- woman. A real Louie-Louie Generation “Doll.” She obviously deserved a handsome, rich, intelligent, sensitive guy, but I married her before she found him.

I’d really like to hear some of your stories from 2007. My E-mail is Mostly it was a good year for me. Except when the SUV hit my little airplane and put it out of commission for the whole summer, and the last few weeks when the bug bit me, and almost everything hurt, and what didn’t hurt didn’t work. But all in all, it doesn’t take too much of a spin job to look at 2007 and come up with…”IT WAS GOOD…SHUT UP AND STOP WHINING.”

The Art of The Spin is fascinating to me. I told you about the Men Are Saints campaign…The “M.A.S. Appeal”…how we saintly guys let our women spend entire cold Thanksgiving days in the warmth of the kitchen, while we throw ourselves across the television tube to keep the harmful rays from hurting our loved ones. And how when saintly men everywhere meet beautiful young women who are hanging around in bars, we invite them to our apartments to get them out of those dangerous places. That…is Spin.

Here’s a sample negative political “Spin” look at the “Wizard of Oz” assuming Dorothy is running for office: “Candidate Dorothy was given a mysteriously funded trip to a dream land…possibly drug induced… where she immediately killed the first woman she met. She then teamed up with two complete strangers to kill again!”

So…ok… the Louie-Louie Generation is…Spin. BUT… just because you can’t PROVE Big Louie his own bad self…really exists… remember you can’t PROVE that God or Santa exists either. So why not go with the flow? Who the hell likes getting older? But you might as well make the best of it. That’s why Big Louie insists that “Louie-Louie Generation guys are the bed mates of choice of super models everywhere.” And he’s honest about it. He says it’s because “Louie- Louie guys tend to treat women right. We have charm, experience, and some of us have money.” Big Louie…his own bad self…has discovered the secret to perpetual marvelous middle age.

And Louie-Louie Generation “Dolls” are the envy of all 22 year olds who like minks and Cadillacs. B. Louie reminds those 22 year olds that with a little time, luck, and practice, they too may become a beautiful, mature, Louie-Louie Generation woman.

HARK ! Look at it this way. Who the hell wants to work out every day…but…Big Louie to the rescue again. He likes to remind you that it’s nice to hear heavy breathing once in a while at your age.

I’ve tried to put Big Louie’s positive spin on everything this year. Almost got dizzy and hurt myself a couple of times. But I think B.L. is right. “Wanna win? Grab a grin.” That makes some sense. Big Louie also says, “The best answer to a serious problem is often a silly solution.” And, “When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.” On the other hand, “When you hit bottom and somebody tosses you a shovel…don’t dig.”

Here’s my nomination for Big Louie’s best advice of 2007: “Truth times Maybe = Honesty.” I like that one a lot. It paints a smiley face on statements like: “This is the one true religion, because God said so.” “The world is obviously flat, and the sun revolves around the earth.” “Life begins at the moment of conception.” “UFOs? ha ha ha ha.” “Mission accomplished. The major fighting in Iraq is over.” And even, “The Mets have a lock on at least the division championship.”

I like a little wiggle room. George Carlin does too. He says, “If you try to fail and you succeed, which have you done?” Even Einstein said, “E=Mc2…but then there’s the uncertainty principle. I think.” Brittany Spears may put it best of all when all she simply says is, “Huh ?”

Dick’s Details Quiz – All the answers are in the current podcast at

1- What one word gets the Herald Angels so much attention?

2- What should we do about getting some of that attention back?

3- What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?

Scoring: 3 – right: Love, Money and Fame in 2008.

2 – right: Love and Money in 2008.

1 – right: Love in 2008.

0 – right: The IRS will audit you in 2008.

Next week’s “Good Night” PodCast will feature 2007’s top five most downloaded stories from the Personal Audio cds. Since you can’t put an audio cd in a blog, if you want to hear them, and you don’t feel like buying the cds…next week, just go to

Hark! Lady Wonder Wench and I wish you a very Merry Christmas.









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