Shut Up And Listen

I’ve kind of calmed down now, but I almost crushed the tv changer in my button pushing hand just a few minutes ago. My Lady Wonder Wench fixed things. She kinda smiled at me, and used that soft, warm voice on me…and that got me back under control. I was trying to watch one of those political talking head shows, and I couldn’t understand a thing anybody was saying, because the host and all three guests were trying to talk all at once. That seems to happen all the time now.

I was on the radio for a long time…and when I interviewed somebody on the air, I always told them before the show that only one of us was going to talk at one time. If somebody didn’t respect that, I simply cued the engineer to clip the offending mouth’s mike. That only has to happen once, and the rent an expert usually gets the idea.

If the host doesn’t want to hear what his rent an expert has to say, why did he invite the guy onto the show ? On the other hand, if the guest doesn’t respect the host’s direction, why doesn’t the host either clip the mic like I used to do or just shut down the offending mouth with a Ritalin tipped blow dart.

And why doesn’t the host make these experts actually answer the question he asks, rather than letting the expert spew some pat political poison that’s designed to cause mobs to gather in the streets with celebrations and feasting, and dancing, and public beheadings of anyone who disagrees.

And while we’re at it, what makes these people “Experts” in the first place ? Maybe we need a new definition of the word “expert” How about “someone who knows how to wear tv makeup.”

When you take the word ex pert apart, it’s obvious what it really means. The word ex means someone who’s out of here… as in an ex husband. And the word pert means someone who’s perky and happy wappy. Therefore an expert is someone who was once happy wappy. Not impressive. Especially that wappy part.

We’re are all of us…the assembled members of the human race…plus the musical group called the Smashing Pumpkins…we are all on an airplane that’s going to crash in thirty seconds, and we’re all arguing about who should be sitting in first class. And we’re all yelling at eachother at the same time.

I think these tv guys should remember what Big Louie, his own bad self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation likes to say…”He who gets too big for his own britches, gets exposed in the end.”

Dick’s Details Quiz. All the answers are in the current podcast.

1- Why would you need buckets ov Viagra in Vegas ?

2- What do one third of American women do more often with their cats than with their husbands or boy friends ?

3- What part of the guys listening to the current podcast is probably flexing as we speak ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

I guess the problem is that when everybody is talking all at once, until somebody shuts up and listens, they’re just wasting their time…because nothing is getting across. That’s one of the problems with Tv and ratings by the way. Ratings only tell us what program is on the tube. They don’t tell us if anybody is paying attention to the program. The only explanation I have for the big ratings some shows get is that somehow house plants have learned to turn on the television.

Men and women are a little like that too. Sometimes the loneliest people are married…but it’s been years since they really paid attention to each other. That’s deadly. There’s a story in the Night Connections personal audio cd about what happens in a marriage like that when a new person comes along… and starts paying attention. It’s called Always. I mixed it on the podcast with Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You…because it’s really the same story.

If you like the story, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the night connections icon on the home page. The song isn’t on the night connections album. Just the story.

I’m determined to stay positive with this podcast. So instead of just complaining about those tv guys who are always shouting at eachother all at once…here’s a suggestion. If you want people to listen to you, do what my Lady Wonder Wench does when she wants to me to pay attention to what she’s telling me. She smiles, takes a deep breath…leans over till she’s right by my ear…and she whispers. The best way to turn off the noise is to turn on your partner.

It works every time.

One Response to “Shut Up And Listen”

  1. aliasJeanFox says:

    Dick – that was a beautiful podcast, and combining Whitney’s music just added that special touch. Thanks again for touching my heart, and hitting home.
    Lady Wonder Wench is right: Whispers are sometimes the loudest form of communication. Smiles and hugs to you both.