I am sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, warm, black leather poppa chair in my living room in my bedroom slippers and my black bathrobe with the word Wiz embroidered in gold thread script on the left side, enjoying a real fire in the fireplace, and the sight of my Lady Wonder Wench dressed in her red Beatles Forever sweat shirt, a pair of pink sweat pants that respect and prioritize curves, and a pair of big, old, beaten up fuzzy slippers. It’s a good life. A much better one than some guys have. For example, an email just came pouring in from Proud Podcast Participant Bruce. It says: Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Long Prairie, Minnesota. She said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is 32 below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. Wind chill is -59. She says her husband has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. She says that if it gets much worse, she may have to let him in.
Big Louie, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie Louie Generation always encourages us to keep each other warm, using the best tool the Lord gave us. Shared Bodily Warmth. That way us Louie Louie Lads and Ladies can avoid becoming God’s Frozen People. It doesn’t matter how old you are. He says, “If you still have some moving parts left, move ‘em. And if they’re frozen solid…thaw them out with SHARED BODILY WARMTH.
The Dreary Drones never share their bodily warmth. They may not have any. I saw a couple of Dreary Drone guys at the supermarket today. They were so cold they were wearing their toupees upside down. If you don’t know about Louie Louie Lads and Ladies, the Pimple People, and the Dreary Drones, you need to get a copy of my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot from Amazon. Shameless plug.
If you have any moving parts left, move ‘em. Stay warm. God gave us February to make us want to cuddle. Don’t disappoint the Lord. Big Louie has some tips for Louie Louie cuddlers of course. He says, there are ways to identify people who want to warm up and cuddle. For example, if you are being introduced to someone, and that person immediately begins to give you mouth to mouth resuscitation, that’s a cuddler.
And where you cuddle is also an important consideration. The bedroom is usually good. But please remember that the bedroom should be a comfortable place for both you and your cuddl-ee. So be sure to remove from your night stand, the picture of your ex that has those trick eyes that follow you around the room. Be sure you have good, solid drapes so you have something to hang on to if things get a little out of control. Cuddling in a car is also nice. But please remember Big Louie’s Car Cuddling rules. Never blow in your partner’s ear while he/she is looking for toll booth money. If you’re driving, close your eyes to enjoy the cuddle only when you have come to a complete stop. The car that is. Always take time to remove your seat belts. And ladies…please never remove undergarments while your partner is switching lanes on a super highway. The lady in a buddy’s life actually did that recently. My buddy went off the road. That’s no kidding.
Now speaking of kidding, before you get all hot and bothered about that last point, please remember that I love to kid you about how men and women deal with life differently. And I sometimes get outraged emails from women who think that’s demeaning to women. But it’s not. It’s not demeaning to women because it’s not intended to be demeaning to women. It’s meant to be fun. It would be demeaning to women to think that I could never kid women like I almost always kid men. That WOULD be demeaning, because it would imply that women don’t have any sense of the absurd. And that would imply that I have no respect for a person’s sense of humor because she’s a woman. And it would spoil some of the great fun we can squeeze out of life.
Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s keeping you awake at night out the other ear, and you can nod off comfortably to sleep.
1- What’s goofy about Mickey Mouse ?
2- How can you win some money betting somebody they can’t take their shirt off by themselves ?
3- What specific excuse do 1.8 million Americans to skip voting ?
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
One important point about cuddling. Besides some good shared bodily warmth, it sometimes start a sizzling hot romance. And before a sizzling hot romance goes too far, you should talk things over with your cuddling partner. For example, sometimes cuddling mysteriously produces children. Think about how long you feel you could put up with saying things like, “Put that down.” “Stop that.” “I told you never to kiss that part of the dog.” And how about your leisure time together. Do you enjoy sipping a glass of wine and watching a roaring fire like this one in my fireplace, or do you prefer drinking a six pack, roaring at the fire, and finding innovative ways of putting it out ? And are you at least chuckling right now ? Good. Because humor is like sillicone. It can take something flat and turn it into something outstanding. And like silicone, it’s also dangerous. Especially for guys who make jokes about it.
Of course some people like danger. All kinds of different danger…like the woman in the story in the current podcast called Painting, Pottery and Passion. Her man told me he had her half un-dressed when one of her clasps caught on his ring. His wedding ring.
Painting Pottery and Passion is from the Night Connections 2 Personal Audio Cd. If you like it you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to dick summer.co m and check out the Night Connections Icon on the home page.
Shared bodily warmth. To get that started, you’ve sometimes got to take a chance on getting a cold shoulder instead. But Big Louie says when it’s this cold, it’s worth taking a chance. He says roll the dice. Don’t let the future scare you. It’s just as shaky as you are. And the less you bet, the more you lose if you win.