Make Your Mark With Hark !

Hark ! a Kris Kringle crunch of Christmas stories came in…thank you for them…and a couple of Christmas comments too. Here’s one from Proud Podcast Participant Elaine, from Cambridge Massachusetts. She says Santa must be a woman. Men can’t pack a bag…men wouldn’t be caught dead wearing red velvet… men don’t answer their mail…men would freak if somebody said they had a belly like a bowl full of jelly…and besides…being responsible for Christmas would require a lasting commitment.

 And Hark again ! Proud Podcast Participant Jim King wants you to know that Santa’s primary language is North Polish…he rides a Holly Davidson…and he and his wife get around on an icicle built for two.

 And Hark one more time…I’ll put some of your Christmas stories  on some of the upcoming blogs at dick summer dot com. Please send them to  

Did you notice how the word Hark got your attention. Practically gave you whiplash didn’t it. Every year about this time, I remember the words of Big Louie, his own bad self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie generation…who always says, “The hell with well…make your mark with Hark.” And I mean to bring them to your attention all year long…but somehow…I tend to forget things like that…along with where I put my glasses, my email password, and what the heck it was that my Lady Wonder Wench wanted me to pick up at the grocery store. That’s one of the problems that comes with being a member of the Louie-Louie Generation I guess.

 One of the other problems that seems to come with being a member of the Louie-Louie Generation is that people don’t pay enough attention to us. I like attention. Using the word Hark will get you some attention. Look what it does every year for the herald angels. I don’t think anybody would even notice them if they weren’t always saying Hark.

 So…how…you will ask…can I casually work the word Hark into my every day conversation so I can get some attention too?” I’m glad you asked. Well here’s how. Have you ever noticed that when most of us are asked a question, we almost always start our answer with the word “well ?” Even the tv news guys do it. “Well…what’s the weather going to be like tomorrow Al?” “Well…probably nice if it doesn’t snow.” Even our leaders talk that way. “Well…what are going to do today Joe.” “Well Barak…let’s check out those Iraqui oil wells.” You even hear that in hospitals, where nobody is really well. My buddy Bob had a serious operation the other day. Fortunately it was successful. We know that because when we asked the doctor, he said, “Well, he’s going to get well.” We said “Swell.”

 So…just substitute the seldom used word Hark for the over used word well. Think how classy Rocky Balboa would have sounded if instead of saying “yo” he said “Hark.” “Hark” even covers boo-boos. The herald angels got away with rhyming “Proclaim” with “Bethlehaim” because when you start a statement with “Hark” people get whiplash…and you can get away with almost anything. Try it. “Is that some other woman’s lipstick on your collar ?” Hark…I can explain. “Hark…I’m pregnant.” “Hark…I got fired.”

 Cleverly using the word Hark instead of well is not the only way to get attention of course. When the weather outside is frightful, if you go around dressed in your gay attire, wishing everybody fa la la la la…that will do it too. As will going for a ride in a one horse open sleigh…on route 95. But considering the possible consequences of things like that, when you want attention, it’s probably better to just make your mark with hark.

 Ok, I said let’s swap some Christmas stories. I put one of my favorites in the lovin touch personal audio cd. It’s about a Christmas a long time ago…my first Christmas with my Lady Wonder Wench. It’s called Christmas Warm.

 The story really is pretty much how it really happened. Hard to believe it was so long ago. It was before cell phones. We really did have outdoor telephone booths then. I sometimes think I wish I had known I’d have been lucky enough to have all the Christmas-es we’ve had since then with her. But maybe not. Maybe that’s one of the lessons of Christmas. Don’t try to improve on miracles.

 Christmas Warm is from the lovin touch personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to dick summer dot com, and download if from the lovin touch icon on the home page.

 Since we’re swapping Christmas stories and I just told you one of mine…it’s your turn. So here’s a note from Proud Podcast Participant Paul Berge. He says, “I refuse to grow up. I still want a bb gun at Christmas, and I promise I won’t shoot my eye out. And I want real Lionel trains under the tree…and I still have faith that we’ll eventually find X-ray glasses that really work…and everybody will admit that Bosco is far superior to CocoMarch… and the ’59 Chevvy was the best car ever…and how about Yoohoo in bottles…and Three Musketeer Bars for a nickel… and nickels…and singing Christmas songs with the guys you like singing harmony with on warm summer evenings out on the stoop…and nothing to do…and no guilt about doing it. Merry all them holidays.” Thanks Paul. One of the best parts about Christmas is the memories. The sweet ones and the bitter sweet ones. The ghosts of Christmas past, helping us get ready for the ghosts of Christmas-es yet to come.

 The holy guys say, “Don’t forget that Christmas is a religious feast.” I think they’re missing the point. I don’t even think it makes much difference if Christ really was the son of God. I think the point is that He gave us lots of good ideas, and lots of love. That’s why his birthday is so neat. And so is Hanukkah, and Quanza, and Solstice, and any other holiday that involves candles, good stuff to eat, a bb gun, a night flight in a small plane with someone you love, and some great loving. Especially that great loving. I like mine long, and gentle, and warm. I think that’s what you’re telling people when you wish them…Merry Christmas.

2 Responses to “Make Your Mark With Hark !”

  1. aliasJean Fox says:

    Just got a flash from the past —- looking out my 2nd floor bedroom window in the winter and seeing the full moon in the sky shining down on the deep blanket of snow on country pastureland, making it glisten in the cold. I’m listening to Christmas songs on WBZ radio and trying to stay awake because the sight is so beautiful. I stay awake while the moon travels the distance from one side of the microwave/TV tower to the other…… then my eyes close and I drift off into the land of “Little Saint Nick”.

  2. Don Miller says:

    Here we are with another Christmas coming fast. But have we taken a moment to stop and think what this holiday really means? I know I haven’t. It’s that time of year where we can all stop and smile at stranger and they don’t wonder if you’re about to mug them.

    I think we all need to take a step back from all the hype and the ads that say buy this or that. I’ve found myself wondering what Virginia would say if she were alive today? I’ve read the letter she wrote to the newspaper. Would she write it again?

    All I know is that Christmas means reaching out to someone who needs the help or might be hunger for a hug or a kind word. Have we become so jaded over time that all we can believe in is ourselves?

    Josh Groban did a song for the movie Polar Express, all it said was you need to believe in the magic of the holiday. The tree in you living room with all the decorations collect over the years. Some because they have a special meaning or some because they are pretty. The yule log burning in the fireplace.

    I remember how my hard it was for me to sleep on the eve of Christmas, or how I thought I heard sleigh bell softly ringing in the night. Opening the little gifts in the stocking.

    We need to believe in something bigger than the commercial side of the holiday and hope for snow on Christmas Eve. As a member of the Louie Louie Generation I will always believe in the softer and gentler things of Christmas. I hope the sleigh bell never stops ringing.

    For those who have loved ones in harms way overseas, my hope for them is to come home to you soon. I say that as one who served. May we all get those gifts that we truly want.