Lady B

I think it’s stand up time. I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather pappa chair in my living room, but an email came in from one of my favorite Proud Podcast Participants. We’ll just call her Lady B, because some of you know her and I don’t want to embarrass her. And let me tell you, her note makes me think it’s definitely time for some stand up. And I’m not talking comedy either.

 I did one night of stand up at a comedy club, a long time ago. I got eaten alive. Although I did really funny bits like, “A lovely young girl named Anne Heuser, Declared that no man could surprise her. But a fellow named Gibbons, untied her Blue Ribbons, And now she is sadder Budweiser.” And then I did, “I was bitten by a love bug, but one shot of penicillin cleared it right up.” And I followed that with, “I went to my doctor to be cured, so he sacrificed a chicken.”

 Hmmm. That’s basically the same reaction I got at the club.

 But I’m talking about a different kind of Stand Up right now. Lady B’s note had to do with the Do You, Do You? podcast, That’s the one where I said you should forget what other people tell you…even the experts…especially the experts…and just do what you honestly think and feel that you should do with your life. And Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation added a very important point. He said, “Never let anybody else eat your hunch.”

 Now listen to Lady B’s note. It says in part…”I have to walk kind of slouched over, because if I stand up straight, people accuse me of trying to ‘work my thing.”

 Proud Podcast Participant Lady B, is a beautiful, well built, Louie-Louie Generation lady.  And she’s walking slouched over, because she’s letting a bunch of simple pimple people make her uncomfortable about looking the way most Louie-Louie Generation gentlemen like a woman to look. Big Louie sent her an email right back. It just said…”You have the right to stand up straight. Do You !”

 Lady B…”Do you do you now?” I hope so.

 Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current podcast.

1-    If half of all mammal species are rodents, what do the feminists say are the other half?

2-    What can you tell about sex by smelling somebody’s breath?

3-    Why did they call Fredrick GREAT ?

 Dick’s details. They take your mind off your mind.

 I thought I was wonderful doing my stand up at the comedy club. I said, “Married women are heavier than single women, because when a single woman comes home, she looks in the refrigerator, then goes to bed. When a married woman comes home, she looks at what’s in the bed, and she goes to the refrigerator.” And believe it or not, I was still standing when I said, “A drunk staggered into a Catholic church, and lurched into the confession booth. “The priest said what do you need my son.” The drunk said “Do you have any paper on your side?” When the audience started throwing things, I said, “When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the back yard. I was an only child…eventually.” It’s hard to do stand up when people keep hitting you with custard pies.

 And as that note from Lady B makes pretty clear…sometimes the people around you make it hard to just stand up. Stand up for who and what you are. Life’s full of choices. Lots of times, people make choices based on what other people think they should do. That’s where the experts come in. As in, “Hello, I’m doctor Dick, and here’s what you should do.” Bs. Stand up for who you are…all the way inside. Do You. Ex-pert. Ex means something that used to be, like your ex spouse. Pert is pretty and perky. So an expert is somebody who used to be pretty and perky. Big deal.

 There’s a story in the new Night Connections 3 Personal Audio CD about a guy who has just made a big decision. But I have a feeling he didn’t stand up. I have a feeling he let an expert into his life. What do you think ? Give it a listen in the current podcast.

 Nothing that’s living feels that cold. I’m not saying he’s right or wrong. Love is neither right nor wrong. It just…is. Same with lust. But love and lust are both…hot. And he’s feeling very cold. He’s not living…his own way. He’s not standing up. He’s running. And stumbling. Decisions like the one he’s facing are big problems. I think he’s running from his problem. Probably following some expert advice. Funny thing about problems. No matter how fast or how hard you run away from them…they’ll catch you…usually sooner than you think, and they throw your whole life into a freezer when they do. 

 So…how do you Do You instead of doing what the experts think you should do, when you’re facing a problem like the one that’s chasing the guy in the story? There’s an idea from the Quiet Hands personal audio cd. It’s called Quiet Decisions. It’s also in the current podcast.

 Quiet Decisions works…if you take your time with it, and trust it. Because it taps into…you. As in Do You. Time and trust. It took you time and  trust when you first learned to stand up. It was worth it then. And it’s worth it now…when you need to teach yourself to stand up… in a different way…again.

 If you like the “End of Time” story from Night Connections 3, or the idea from Quiet Hands, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, download what you want from the icons on the home page.

 The really great stand up comedians always put at least a little part of their real selves into their act. Rodney Dangerfield… admitted to the tiny terror that any performer…in fact any person feels, when he said,  “I don’t get no respect.” Phyllis Diller who had public marriage problems in her real life…called her husband “Fang” in her act. My Lady Wonder Wench and I caught Bill Cosby live a few months ago. There was a guy in a wheel chair, with an oxygen mask on, right up front of the stage. Cosby came down from the stage…right in the middle of his act…and he bent down to the guy in the wheel chair…and he said, “I’m Bill Cosby.” The guy in the chair looked up…surprised…and said, Yeah, I know.” And Cosby looked down at the wheel chair guy with the oxygen mask…and he said, “I do comedy.” The guy said “yeah.” Cosby took a deep breath, and he said, “Don’t die.”

 Stand up. Do you. Cosby did. He put it all on the line. And the result could have been awful. But he blew the roof off the place instead. And nobody laughed harder than the guy in the wheel chair.

 Lady B…Please. Do you. Stand up…straight. Do you. Stand up proud. Do you. Stand up beautiful. Stand up. Do You.

One Response to “Lady B”

  1. Eric Jaderborg says:

    Tell you what, Dick…Lady B not only has the right to “stand up straight,” she has the right…nay, the obligation…the higher calling…to “work her thing.” Do it!