Giving Thanks

I’m sitting in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, looking forward to the arrival of Mr. Turkey, Mr. Claus, and then the New Year’s eve kid in diapers.

 I have a lot of things to be thankful for…and you do too if you’re reading this in America. And if you and I take a moment out from complaining about everything to think about it…we’ll certainly come up with lots of big things to be thankful for…like the freedom to complain…even about the government…out loud…for example.

 But how about the little thankful things? Like the ice cream sandwich with little flakes of dark chocolate I had the yesterday, or walking on a beach…with somebody special…on Christmas…how about sharing a bag of hot popcorn with that same somebody beautiful, sitting next to you…waiting for a movie to begin…how about flinging a frizzzzzbeeee…or the sound of ice cubes bouncing against a glass full of fizzy soda…or the word ‘yall, in a sentence that goes something like, “We’re sure glad to see y’all. Hey…and thanks for the sound of a real belly laugh when somebody actually gets one of my jokes…and the smell of the sudden summer rain we had last August 31, when the first drops hit the warm freshly cut grass.

 But today…we’re talking turkey. As my great, great, grandfather, Myles Standish Summer used to say, “Turkeys are really dumb. They even walk up to you and they say, gobble gobble gobble”…and so we do.” If I were the Big Turkey, I’d tell my guys…look …enough with the gobble gobble. Shut up. And while you’re at it, go get yourself a trick or treat costume with big eyes and a funny little tail. And learn to take funny hops like the Easter Bunny.”

 It was on Thanksgiving night a number of years ago, that I started the infamous Men Are Saints campaign on WNBC radio. I called it the M.A.S. appeal. Men are saints.  The idea came from remembering a Thanksgiving watching what happened when my Lady Wonder Wench, and our daughter Kris, and our Daughter in law Brenda were scurrying around preparing dinner, while the guys were…otherwise occupied. Here’s the point:

 Men are seldom given credit for our sensitivity, our intelligence and our selfless behavior. For example, here in the Northeast, Thanksgiving is usually celebrated on a cold day. So where do we men traditionally encourage our women to spend the day? Right. In the warmest room in the house. The kitchen. While we, on the other hand, in a manly display of selfless courage, throw ourselves in front of the tv screen to protect our loved ones from the terrible effects of the cathode rays that squirt out of the picture tube.

 And how much credit do we men get for that traditional self sacrifice ? Right. None. And think about this: How often have you seen a relatively innocent Louie-Louie Generation man at a raunchy bar go over to a woman he has never even met, and invite her to the safety and comfort of his very own apartment to get her out of that dangerous environment ? And what reward do we get ? Right again. None. But we soldier on s we always have, even in the face of this shameful lack of appreciation. That’s the basis for the M.A.S. appeal.

 As you can imagine, the M.A.S. appeal is frequently not well received by certain people with more evolved levels of social sensitivity, and mostly higher voices, although Big Louie, his own bad self, the chief mustard cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation has tried to explain that it’s testosterone that causes the bad reputation that many guys enjoy, and we’re therefore not responsible for our sometimes strange thought processes, and the things that we frequently can’t help doing.                                                                                    

 Louie says a guy’s brain swims in this sea of testosterone, which absorbs some of the shocks of a guys life to which we are all exposed…like hitting a button on a radio and getting an unexpected blast of Yanni’s music, or getting hit in the head by a baseball, or being exposed to high levels of excess verbal communication. Testosterone, you will remember, is a preservative. And a preservative stops stuff like fungs and things from maturing. I seem to have a lot of testosterone,  which protects me from fungus, and many of the other harmful effects of maturing…which is probably why the Men Are Saints campaign seemed like such a good idea to me in the first place.                         

 Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

 1-    How come so many people are sleepless in Seattle ?

     2- What would any saintly man be glad to do for 78% of American women ?

     3- What made Ty Cobb such a nasty man ?

 Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

 There’s a story about a rather special kind of a Thanksgiving in the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. It’s in the current podcast. It’s called…”Giving Thanks.” I think the woman in the story is going to give a young guy a nice, warm serving of thanks, as soon as he opens his front door. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he came back for seconds… a least. “Giving Thanks” is from the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Night Connections 2 icon on the home page.

 I’m a very lucky guy, and I know it. There are lots of those little giving thanks things in my personal life. My Lady Wonder Wench’s special spaghetti sauce is a good example…and flinging well worn lines from our favorite movies at each other…and climbing into our little airplane, and watching fourth of July fire works from on top…and seeing a spring rainbow the same way…from on top…some days, taking five minutes in the middle of the day to just sit on the couch like a couple of kids…holding each other…tight…and maybe best of all, watching her wake up slowly…with her head over on my pillow… in that very gentle light of dawn…I have a lot to be thankful for.

 If you’re reading this in America, you do too.

3 Responses to “Giving Thanks”

  1. Betsy says:

    Dick, re being thankful to live in America, I was just reading about the best places to retire. Tops on the list were, Nicaragua, Colombia and Equador. It’s interesting that most people from those countries would love to get to America and some Americans are moving to these countries.

  2. aliasJean Fox says:

    Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I hope it’s a good day.
    Don’t overeat, and do spend some time snuggling with those you love. Help your family with feast preparation and cleanup and it’ll leave more time for everyone to be together in a good way ….

  3. Jeff Silver says:

    Listening to Alice’s Restaurant is still a Thanksgiving tradition with me. You started me listening to it on WBZ. I’ve now passed on the tradition to my daughter. Have a good one, Dick, and thanks.