Don’t Worry Be Happy

I am sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather papa chair in my living room, trying to calm down after talking with an individual who’s birth I suspect, may have been caused by a secret government project gone hideously askew. He is the editor of the new book I’m trying to finish, and he is what you might call a natural source of methane. He is now objecting to the title of my book…which is Staying Happy Healthy and Hot. I like that title, because it expresses the Louie Louie Generation’s outlook on life. Staying happy helps to keep you healthy, and when you’re healthy, your hormones hum heroically. My attitude is that it’s my book, so I’ll decide on what the title should be. He tells me I have an attitude problem. I told him I don’t have an attitude problem. If he has a problem with my attitude, it is not my problem. He claims he even understands internet publishing. I point out to him that the Internet claims that hot naked women want to befriend me, and therefore I distrust everything I read there. Our relationship is approaching a meltdown. Except that a meltdown sounds like fun. Something like a kind of warm cheese sandwich.

I had some books published by Random House and Bantam Books a long time ago. So why don’t I just go back to what was a very good publishing situation? Here’s why: It was back in the days when you could actually hear Louie Louie on the radio. It was so long ago that publishing at that time was just beginning the transition from drawing on cave walls to printing on paper, so all the guys I knew back then have disappeared. More than likely it happened when they let their guard down after one of their tax deductable six martini lunches together and some of the saber tooth tigers that back in those days roamed the savage jungle of what we now call Fifth avenue in Manhattan had them for dinner.

But…Big Louie his own bad self to the rescue. He keeps reminding me that life is too short to waste time worrying about how short life is. He says, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” “Dare to be indifferent.” “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.”

Sometimes you’ve got to work at being happy so you can be healthy and hot. So Big Louie has a genuine list of 10 Happiness Helpers for you if you’re feeling kind of down and droopy today.

#10- Listen to some happy music. That’s pretty simple #9- Get up and move around a little more. When you move, you groove. #8- Stand and sit tall, and walk strong. Stop the slouch. Pull your shoulders back and reach for the sky with the back of your head. This really works. When you walk tall and strong, you look at life differently. Walk strong, like you’re going somewhere. Strut, don’t wander or mosey. Try it. People get out of your way. And you start disturbing the hormones of all those who’s hormones you want to disturb for miles around. #7- Fake it till you feel it. Put a smile on your face…it’ll actually make you feel smiley. #6- Hang with happy people as much as you can. #5- Drink lots of cold water. Seriously. I’ve tried it. Give it a shot. #4- Take up as much space as possible. Spread out. Do stuff like draping your arms out across the back of the couch. #3- Walk into your clothes closet where nobody can hear you and holler whatever is ticking you off out loud. #2- Go find a picture of yourself that was taken at a happy time, and put it somewhere you have to see it every day. Or make up a happy hero story about yourself, and add to it every day. #1- Do at least one small thing for yourself… just for yourself every day. Or if you don’t feel like doing any of those things…don’t. But give this one Happy Helper a quick try. Just take five very deep breaths…all the way down to the bottom of your belly. It’ll warm up and stir your personal juices.

There’s a story about stirring up some very warm and personal juices in the Night Connections 3 Personal Audio CD. It’s called “Taking A Breath.”

The woman in the story was beginning to feel beautiful again. It took some time, and it took a different man, but eventually she started caring about herself enough to find a new perfume, and change the color of her hair. Then  she re-discovered the power of her lovely smile.

If you like “Taking A Breath” you can just keep the current podcast, or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the home page…whatever makes you happy.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-     Why does Big Louie say gas stations lock their rest room doors ?

2-     What should you do if you wear booties to bed ?

3-     Where in America can you find a 500 foot man ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

Next Thursday is an anniversary that should not go un-noticed…it marks the anniversary of the death of a strong and gentle man. He called himself Edward English. I have a feeling that’s not the name on his birth certificate. He was a rumpled, bearded, black man who wore a Tam O’Shanter, and believed he was looking at God when he looked into the eyes of the people he loved. He was a vagabond poet, a jewelry maker, and a fund raiser for the Civil Rights movement who was sometimes reduced to living on welfare. Edward English was always an optimist. He was a happy guy. He lived mostly in Brooklyn, but he was a world traveler…Canada, Scandinavia, Western Europe, North and West Africa, and Central America. He was a poet who couldn’t be concerned with trivial things like spelling. He mispronounced words, and spelled them that way. He never read other people’s work. He said, “I don’t want other people to rub off on me and get into my work. I just want to be me.” Some people say he had an attitude problem. But I think that’s what I liked best about him. His attitude. A little while before he died, he wrote this about his own life. He said, “Life is nuthin but a struggle for something you want that is worthwhile. Now here is my struggle. I just want a little Gloria out of life.” 

Mr. Edward English didn’t have an attitude problem. He simply owned himself. He was a warm and happy man.


2 Responses to “Don’t Worry Be Happy”

  1. Jeff says:

    Great advice except 4 and 5. At our age if we drink a lot of water we’re making runs to the bathroom since our bladder does not have the capacity it once had and unfortunately a lot of the population are taking up more space since they are twice the size they used to be.

  2. Ellen Ferranti says:

    I have some of those books you published in the 70’s..great poetry and you read many Lovin Touch entries on the radio. (Recently I wore the Lovin Touch necklace here in Manhattan and many asked about its origin!) As for your latest book and title..I love it! So, go publish it yourself! Many options to do so on internet..
    As for aging…it is inevitable…can’t fight it..embrace it!
    Keep on writing….I have been a fan for years!