My buddy Fred Masey hosts a terrific blog called Bananas Crackers And Nuts.  Fred and I go back a lot of years, and we tend to see many things through the same slightly out of focus eyes. More and more out of focus as time goes along. I told you what my Lady Wonder Wench did to me in this week’s podcast , and Fred posted this blog at just about the same time:

All In The Touch

Along with all the other attributes that make them so desirable, persons of the feminine persuasion possess a very special touch, whether soothing the cheek of a crying infant or wiggling the stubborn lid off a jar of applesauce.  It’s a genetic gift that guys just don’t get … one that’s involved with thinking and reasoning rather than with simply grunting and pulling things apart.

This gift is most likely related to the same gene that enables a woman to find the keys, glasses, pens and other objects a guy doesn’t see when he’s staring straight at them, because of the ‘kill and fetch’ bone that God stuck into his head instead … back in the apple and snake days of the original garden.  While the female of the species has evolved through many centuries, men have managed to maintain pretty much the same hammer and chisel mentality.

Take, for example, our chronically clogged sink drain that continually threatened to swamp the bathroom and drown its inhabitants during a simple tooth brushing.  I poured about every drain cleaner known to man down there, including a few not commercially available.  I ran the hot water for ten minutes per the instructions, even tried cold.  Nothing.  Finally I got the plunger.  Muscle!  That ought to do it!  I took a full masculine grip on the handle, two hands, and began to plunge.  I plunged and plunged until my arms ached, then plunged some more … sucked up all sorts of black smelly stuff, even some hair and fuzz balls.

A manly grin relaxed my thinned, tightened lips as I confidently turned on the water.  In the reflecting pool that was once again forming in the porcelain bowl, I could see the corners of my mouth curl slowly downward.  I repeated the plunging process several times, even jiggled the stopper thingy that lives in the middle of the drain, only to watch the pooling water rise even faster than it did before I started ‘fixing’ the sink.

Now, I’ll play with electricity to nearly any extent necessary, no problem … the worst you might get is a tingle but you don’t have to mop it up.  I’ll pull electrical stuff apart all day, but I refuse to play with water beyond the dabbling I’d already done.  So with the announcement that we’d have to call a plumber to clean out the clogged elbow, and a thirty-two ounce swallow of male pride, I put down the plunger and surrendered.

As I was about to leave the bathroom, a small voice from the doorway that had witnessed most of this, gently said, “Do you mind if I try?”  The all-knowing manly grin returned as I said, “Go ahead.  Plunge your heart out!”  With that I headed for the kitchen, it was Miller Time!

The cap was barely off the bottle when I heard the pitter-patter of little feet behind me.  It was the little voice.  “I fixed it,” Vigi said rather matter-of-factly.  “You fixed … you, you fixed it?”  “It’s fine” she smiled.  “How, how’d you do that?” I stammered.  “It’s all in the touch” my womanly woman calmly replied, as she handed me the plunger and went off to dust something.  I’ll always figure I must have loosened it for her.  I must have!


PS:  She says she’ll give me credit for that.

One Response to “Dickie-Quickie”

  1. Carole says:

    Yup!!! That’s we women. It’s what we do!!! Of course, driving you (cave)manly men insane is just half the fun. It’s not even that difficult to do…..
    I remember once my ex husband and his partner were in the engine room of one of their fishing boats after toiling down there for most of the day. They had a problem they just couldn’t solve. I had stopped by to bring them some dinner. I sat down on the steps and watched and listened for about a half hour, then made a little suggestion. “Did you ever think it might be….???” I will NEVER forget the looks on their faces. Their jaws dropped – they just stared at one another. It was obviously a teeny tiny detail that just had never occurred to them. 10 minutes later, they had the engine running.
    I love it when a plan comes together……