Dick Summer Connection – March 18, 2007

Lots of e-mails about my report card for tv performers last week. That means someone is reading this stuff, which adds to my grim determination to be happy and positive this year. Cunning Connector Ed Sweeney Jr. sees my favorite, Campbell Brown, as “an angry individual,” but he agrees that “Katie Couric is a child in a woman’s body.” I like Katie, but if the asteroid were about to hit, having Campbell to look at would at least distract me a bit. On the other hand, Cunning Connector Julie Bernstein thinks “Wolf Blitzer is a fox.” “C. Connector” Leslie O’Brien says “Anderson Cooper gets my blood and stuff flowing.” C.C. Doug Mendenhal says, “if I had a head as shiny as John McCain’s I’d start a new whig party.” My, my, you guys are even more clever than I am…now that I’m getting older.

Also had some very interesting e-mail conversations with lots of you. (My e-mail address is dick@dicksummer.com  and I love hearing from you.) Some people are asking how to use the “comments” section on the blog. Just click on the word “comments,” put your thoughts in the box, then hit send.

I’m proud to tell you that The Hyannis News ( www.HyannisNews.comm  ) carries this blog as a regular column…thank you very much, guys. My comments about the stupidity of recent attempts to ban the use of the word nigger, substituting the euphemism “The N word”, have caused them to post a disclaimer that basically says…hey, we may or may not agree with what this guy is saying, but he’s got something to say, and you might be interested. And why not ?

I have four brothers. Mom and Dad brought us up to think. Wonder Wench and I passed the same simple idea along to our kids. No two thinking people always agree about everything. Part of the fun of being a family is disagreeing with each other without coming unglued. We even like laughing at each other.

Quickie update on this in case you missed the last couple of blogs: I believe that saying the”N word” or the “F word” might be ok if you were the late, great, Capt. Kangaroo, talking to Mr. Green Jeans. But when you use that kind of talk in a grown up conversation, it makes me think you’re full of poopie. Say what’s on your mind. The Republic will stand. Nigger, Wop, Kike, Kraut…they’re all nasty, demeaning terms, mostly used by nasty, demeaning people. If somebody uses a word like that to me, I figure I’m better off knowing right up front that I’m dealing with an idiot.

Through the years, lots of people have said I don’t “get it” when I talk like that. Good. I really don’t want “it.” In fact, I want to stay as far away from “it” as I can get.

But making the use of certain words illegal is not only unnecessary, childish and stupid, it’s unconstitutional. The funny hats who put our Bill of Rights together figured even bad guys aren’t wrong all the time, and maybe they’ve got some ideas we can use. So let’s listen. Then let’s laugh at them. That’s where we got Seinfeld, baseball’s designated hitter, and Einstein’s theory that time is worth money.

Besides, why hate a guy because of his race or religion? I say if you want to hate somebody, get to know him well enough and you’ll find plenty of stuff to hate him for that makes sense.

And while I’m getting myself in trouble again… using the word “Gay” to describe a guy like my friend Scott, who is about 6’5″, weighs around 310, lifts weights, chews nails and spits rust, makes as much sense as skipping down the street singing “fa la la la la, let’s don our gay apparel.”

I have a lot of “disclaimer” kind of ideas. For example, I don’t think the best way to get rid of violence is to kill all the violent people. That’s as dumb as us telling some other country, ” you can’t have a nuke bomb because we can’t trust you not to use it on us, so if you don’t knock it off, we’ll nuke you.” I admit that I don’t know how to fix these problems. But I sure as hell know what doesn’t work. And I would like to point out that it is not my job to know how to solve these problems. It is the job of the people I hire and send to Washington to figure these things out, when/if they can take a few minutes out from their busy schedule of sticking their fingers in each other’s eyes, and my pockets.

MORE DISCLAIMERS WHILE WE’RE AT IT: I find it interesting that we’re free to join any religion we like, then when we join, the religion immediately cuts the hell out of our freedom. Now, to really get in trouble, let me tell you that I think religions and governments survive to a significant extent by frightening people and then selling them a false sense of security…”You’ll be ok, as long as you do exactly what we tell you to do.” Religion has a long and terrible history of making some people do un-Godly things… like flying airliners into tall buildings. But don’t let that make you feel smug. Wayne Newton now includes a comment in his show about “Our Godless, gutless enemies.” And that, folks…is EXACTLY what the terrorists called US just before the planes hit the buildings.

I’m a pilot. I’ve never met a pilot who doesn’t believe in God. We get to see too many amazing things. But I am not religious. I fully respect my religious friends, and therefore I respect their beliefs. I simply don’t share them. When I see members of any clergy blessing little children, I always think it would make much more sense around the other way.

And as I’ve gotten older, I have developed a great respect for atheists. The ones I know seem much more genuinely interested in trying to truly understand the concept of God than most people who profess a religion.

My own belief is that God is a concept way too huge for my limited intelligence to understand. Lots of much smaller concepts fall into the came category…high school trigonometry, love, why water from a garden hose in August tastes so much better than the expensive stuff they sell in bottles. So who am I to get upset that I’m just not smart enough to understand God? I’m smart enough to be a happy guy… even if sometimes it’s kind of a grimly determined happiness. I figure I’m ok because God is smart enough to understand that I just don’t understand Him. Hell, He’s even smart enough to understand my Lady Wonder Wench.

I believe God put me here to be happy. I am. So I believe I’m doing what I should be doing. And I do the best I can to help the people I care about to be happy too. I also believe that when you get the car washed, the engine does run better. I believe that third sneeze is damn near as good as sex. And there’s no question in my mind that God’s real punishment for my sins is making it impossible for me to scratch my own back. And don’t get me started on how ticked off He must be at us to have allowed the designated hitter.

It is also pretty obvious that if you give too many people too many pieces of your mind, you’ll have none left for yourself. So enough of this rant.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current PodProgram at www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest  .

1- Where do young guys LURK ?
2- “If there were no men, there would be no crime and lots of fat, happy _ _ _ _ _.”
3- How many sex fantasies does “the average American” have in a day ?


3 right – Go in peace and sin no more.
2-right – Three lashes with a wet noodle.
1-right- Two months in support stockings.
0-right- Front row seats at a Yanni concert.

NB…this marks the ninth month of this blog and the PodCast that goes with it. As any baby will tell you, nine months is a significant period of time. So I am considering putting all the blogs since the first one on a disc. If you’d be interested in having a copy please drop me a note at dick@dicksummer.com . It will have to cost you a few bucks for materials and postage…probably around 3 or 4 dollars. I’m doing the same thing with the PodPrograms…putting them all on an MP3 disc. Same deal. Let me know, please. dick@dicksummer.com

Also…stay connected. Like it or not, we’re all we’ve got.

One Response to “Dick Summer Connection – March 18, 2007”

  1. Susie Capps says:

    Hi Dick-

    I’m a new subscriber to your Podcast, and I absolutely love it! However, I do have one question: Why do you call your “significant other” Lady Wonder Wench?

    Also, I love the comment in today’s blog about members of the clergy, blessings, and children. A+!