Dick Summer Connection

As I was telling you in today’s podcast, I was trying to pass the time on a long drive the other day, when I remembered an old bit that I tried on my Lady Wonder Wench. It goes like this: What color is snow. What color are clouds. What color is whipped cream. What color are polar bears. Most people say snow and clouds and whipped cream and polar bears are white. Then you ask, What do cows drink.” Most people say cows drink milk, because you’ve set them up thinking about white stuff. The right answer of course is that cows drink water. To show you the kind of mind my Lady Wonder Wench uses to do battle with life, I put her actual voice in today’s podcast. Here’s how she answered the questions: Snow is yellowish grey, but sometimes it’s white. Clouds are all the colors of the rainbow. White underneath, but also yellow and pink. Polar bears are ugly. They’re dirty yellow. And cows drink…water. Of course.” That’s why after God made man, he stepped back, looked at us, and said I can do better than that, and he made women. Of course in the process, an un-intended side effect was that God made sex. Isn’t God wonderful. I think he might have done that for fun. He probably enjoys watching us as the un-intended side effects of sex take place. Bouncing, sliding around, whiplash, knee burns, totaling the bed, having trouble remembering your own name, shaking your shoes and socks off, setting off the smoke alarm, face turning purple, digging nails into your partner’s back, digging nails into your own back, blacking out, and occasionally, after an exceptional session…speaking in tongues. You know you’ve found the right lover when you find yourself wondering if it makes any real sense to ever get dressed again.

vet sign

Comments are closed.