I am sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, and I’ll guarantee you that if a basketball game breaks out, I’m staying right where I am. Basketball is not my game. I was an excellent swimmer, a good baseball ball player, and I survived playing Judo. But I was always hideous at hoops.
I’m telling you about this, because it has to do with all the groaning and moaning that’s going on about the New Year. What do you say about a year in which the Ancient Mayans tell us the world will end, and the groan and moan politicians and talk show hosts tell us the sky is falling, and the New York Mets don’t have a starting pitching staff ? Here’s what Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation says: “Cheer up.” And here’s why he says that.
I almost got killed when the WBZ Radio disc jockeys played the Boston Patriots in a charity basket ball game a long time ago, and I’ll never forget it. In the midst of the worst rout in the history of sports, a single cheer rang out. It was my Lady Wonder Wench, and she was cheering for me. Nobody ever cheered for me before. That cheer was magic. And I needed some magic while I was trying to block a guy who looked and acted a little like a steam locomotive that had jumped the tracks. That cheer tossed a lightning bolt love affair at my hormones. And it made me stand 2 inches taller for the rest of my life…so far. I’d call that magic, wouldn’t you?
Cheers are like life’s lingerie. I mean, is it a coincidence that cheer rhymes with sheer ? I think not. Does lingerie have the magical ability to turn an ordinary date into some enchanted evening ? Absolutely. And like lingerie, aren’t cheers brief, encouraging, and happy? Of course. There’s no down side to a cheer either. You can slow down, or slow up. You can break up or break down. But the only way you can cheer is up.
I figure if the Ancient Mayans had such powerful magic, that they knew when the world was going to end, how come there aren’t any Ancient Mayans on Facebook, or at MacDonalds ? I’m not afraid of those Mayan’s magic any more. Because as Big Louie says, when I hear fear, I give a cheer. That way, it’s my magic against theirs. And I like my chance of winning.
And to prove I’m not afraid of those guys, let me risk the wrath of an ancient Mayan curse by revealing the legend of a Mayan air force ace who shot down five enemy planes. He became an instant national hero, and so he was in great demand for personal appearances at Mayan sandwich shops, because, as I said he was a hero, and…all the people at the sandwich shop wanted some of him on their sandwiches, because he was also the first Mayan ace.
Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
1- What’s the real reason Hula Hoops were so popular here?
2- Why should you always bring a flashlight when Catherine Zeta Jones is around ?
3- Why should you take a bath with somebody named “Bubbles ?”
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
Enough of this groan and moan stuff…“The sky is falling,” and “The world is coming to an end.” I can’t prove it, but I think hunches are better than logic. And I have a huge hunch that if we cheer up, this is going to be a good year. Because our cheer magic can beat their fear magic. There’s a reminder about that in the lovin touch personal audio cd. And I put it in the current podcast. It’s called, “You Shine.”
It’s a cheer for all of us, and our personal magic. And cheers beat fears. And the sky is not falling. And the world is not coming to an end. “You Shine” is from the lovin touch personal audio CD. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the lovin touch icon on the home page.
I have a hunch that you’re just as tired as I am of the groan and moan goblins…those old Mayans, the politicians, and the talk show hosts. But the next time one of them tells you that the sky is falling and the world is coming to an end, don’t waste time arguing with them. Even if you sometimes lie, steal and cheat in your personal life, you can’t win an argument with them, because you’re an amateur, and they do it for a living. So don’t bother arguing…just whip some of our magic cheer mojo on them.
Just think, if you cheer yourself up, and pass that cheer up to one other person and you get that other person to pass that cheer up along to somebody else…there’ll be more than enough positive mojo to not only keep the sky propped up where it belongs, but also keep the world spinning through lots of New Years to come.
You don’t even have to cheer up in words. You could just say hello and smile when you walk into an elevator. Give somebody who’s looking frazzled a slow wink and a smile. Hold a door for the next person coming into a store, and smile. You can listen…really listen to a kid…or somebody who’s out of work…or somebody who’s hurting for whatever reason…and smile. Smiles are important. And don’t forget to cheer yourself up too. Go look in a mirror…take a minute…and smile that devilish grin of yours. Enough of this groan and moan. Cheer up. I have a hunch it’s going to be a very good year.
Dick, I know exactly how you felt about that basketball game. Once in the early 1970s WMMR was challenged by the local FBI office to a football game. PD Jerry Stevens received a call during hois midday show and shrewdly accepted the challenge before they had time to reconsider.
Came game day, a crisp fall day and we went to the site. By game time about 1000 folks ringed the field. During the game helicopters kept flying overhead as they must have expected some trouble was in store from all these anti-FBI longhairs!
The FBI guys arrived all wearing the same chino slacks and shirts/sweatshirts. Clearly they’d played some. By comparison we were a bunch of ragtag hippies.
I forget the final score, but we were shut out. The only injuries that day were two FBI guys who butted heads when both cut across the back and collided busting both of ’em open!
As a little guy, about 5’6″ and about 135 lbs at the time I was mainly playing defense until by attrition I began running pass patterns as receiver. They didn’t even bother to cover me as they KNEW i was NEVER getting the ball. Eventually I went back to the huddle and called this to the attention of Jerry Stevens who was QBing. After the next play he told me he spotted how open I was, and I’d be getting the next pass. I caught it for a first down, one of our few successful plays that day and got a standing ovation! There’s the analog to the cheer you got. I STILL can channel that moment.
We might have gotten squashed, but we grew respect for them and them for us for playing clean and as well as we could.
On a similar note a year or two after that we played the Vietnam Vets Against the War (VVAW). In 2004 I realized that one of the players for VVAW was a young fellow recently back from Nam who had become a key activist against the war: John Kerry. I truly hope to meet him one day to ask him about that game. They beat us pretty soundly, too. But just playing was a thrill.
And I suppose that the sandwich shoppe that the Mayan guy frequented had a feature named after him: The Hero Shrewsbury!!
While I’m at it: Cheer also rhymes with beer, deer, dear, drear, fear, gear, here, hear, jeer, leer, mere, near, peer, rear, seer, tear, and year. That brings me to my poinr:
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!