Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2017

Today’s podcast is about a situation that I didn’t want to become a sting operation. A 6 ton, 4 engine wasp slammed into my double pane glass front door, and sat glaring at me. I pulled in my gut, and carefully slipped outside through that skinny opening I just made. I know he saw me but he didn’t fly away. He just stood there glaring up at me and giving me a waspy center finger. I took careful aim with the bottle of wasp spray, and pushed the button…and missed. I guess he didn’t like that because he took off and flew right up at my face. I have enough problems with my face, I don’t need a sting from a four engine 6 ton wasp to make things worse. So I did the duck and dodge, and I got my hand up pretty fast, and took a swat at him…and I got him. I didn’t squash him…I just hit him away with the palm of my hand. But he still didn’t fly off. He…hovered…like a chopper…just out of reach. I’m sure it was just my imagination, but I thought I heard a tiny voice laughing. I knew for certain that he figured he was going to make it a very rough week for me. To find out how bad, take a listen to today’s podcast.

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, May 22nd, 2017

Today’s podcast is about a wasp that was giving me a waspy center finger. I am a man, and I wasn’t going to let this challenge to my masculinity pass. I keep a can of wasp spay right there by the door, because as I said we have lots of them this time of year. So I picked up the can, and very carefully opened the door…just a crack. I didn’t want him getting into the house, because if my Lady Wonder Wench saw him she would become a pink streak running into the bedroom where she would lock the door and drag her dresser in front of it and vow never to come out until I whacked that wasp… and she would insist that I slide his scalp under the door to prove it before she would come out again. To experience the shocking end of this sting operation, check out today’s podcast.

Dick’s Details

Sunday, May 21st, 2017

Distractions, distractions, distractions. They’re all over the place. Today’s podcast is about yesterday, when I was sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable poppa chair trying to get started on a new podcast when a four engine, 6 ton wasp hit the glass door here in my living room. I mean he hit it. I thought he was going to break the glass. He didn’t break the glass, but the whack must have made him dizzy, because he fell down, and glared up at me…and buzzed. I could hear him through the double glass door. There are a lot of wasps in our yard this time of year, and some of them don’t understand glass, so they whack into the glass door. Generally they just get up and fly away. This guy didn’t. I swear he was standing there at the bottom of the door, and glaring up at me. Now I’m not an expert at wasp anatomy, but it looked to me like he was standing on his back legs, and he raised one of his front legs and pointed it at me…I think he was giving me a waspy center finger. It was time to bring out the boxing gloves. Check today’s podcast to learn how that came out.

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, May 20th, 2017

When you’ve had enough screwing around with your computer/smart phone for a while, come on over to today’s podcast and play Peek-A-Boo with me. It’ll teach you something about yourself. 

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, May 19th, 2017

T.G.I.F means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcastDick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s driving you nuts out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. Colorado State University released a study that says, “Western civilization causes acne.” A finding that was probably the result of observing Colorado State University students.  If the answer is balderdash, what is the question. Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute.  Polls show that Republicans brush their teeth more than Democrats do. I guess that’s because Democrats feel that Republicans should brush their own teeth. The average cow farts 35 cubic feet of gas per day. Strike a match behind her, and you might get to see a cow jump over the moon. According to Middle Eastern tradition, the original forbidden fruit wasn’t an apple. It was a banana…the peel of which might explain that slip up in the garden of Eden. If the answer is balderdash, the question is what do you call a rapidly receding hair line. Balderdash. Hey…no comb overs. Just shave it all off. Then make a little smiley face on the back of your head, so you can bring a little cheer to the people behind you when you tip your hat. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little house keeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, or my spoken word story CDs , please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thanks.

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, May 18th, 2017

Kids love to play games. The game this kid is playing has…”limited appeal.” Today’s podcast is about a grown up version of another kid game called “Peek-A-Boo.” I think you’ll get a kick out of playing it. 

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, May 17th, 2017

There are lots of fun, happy, and sometimes funny things going on around us all the time. In today’s podcast I was telling you there’s a sign in front of the hardware store down the street that was supposed to say something about a special on screws, but today it’s saying something about the guy who put it there instead, because a couple of the letters fell off. Now it’s pure punny poetry. How about the feeling you get when you slip a silk handkerchief into your jacket pocket? And what about the smile on a waitress’ face just because you remembered to say thank you for a lovely meal? And just now I was listening to my Lady Wonder Wench as she was laughing and snapping the bubbles on a long strip of bubble wrap. I know the world has problems. And you have problems. And I have problems. But as Big Louie the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation always says…In troubled times like these it’s important to remember that there have always been troubled times like these. We’re going to be ok if we just remember to grab a grin and win.

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, May 16th, 2017

I don’t like glasses. Mostly. I do like my Ray Ban sun glasses. As I was telling you in today’s podcast, pilots all wear Ray Bans. I used to love wearing my Ray Bans while I was flying my little airplane. I think they made me look like I could fly a 747 in an emergency. That’s the small plane pilot’s fantasy. Both pilots in the airliner’s cockpit fall unconscious and the panic stricken flight attendant gets on the horn and asks if there’s a pilot on board. So I get up, stride purposely to the cockpit, put on my Ray Bans…doesn’t matter if it’s midnight…appearances count…and I bring the big plane down to a gentle landing through the clouds, the turbulence, and the icing. Of course, Catherine Zeta Jones, who just happens to be aboard in first class, rushes up to me, and plants a big sloppy kiss right where it feels best. Hey…everybody is entitled to a fantasy. And sometimes things just aren’t what they seem.

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, May 15th, 2017

Today’s podcast is about something really frightening that happened to me. A few weeks ago, I caught myself cleaning the right lens in my glasses every couple of minutes, and it finally dawned on me that maybe the problem wasn’t the lens, maybe the problem was with my eye. That was a shocker. And it began to short circuit some stuff in my head. I admitted to you a couple of podcasts ago that I was feeling kind of weird. That was the problem. And thanks by the way for many of you who sent emails trying to cheer me up. That was a help. So I did something guys very seldom do. I made an appointment with a doctor. Guys don’t do that, unless we have been semi-comatose for at least a month, have lost 6 barrels of blood, and have become too weak to use the channel changer on the TV. Or we’re scared. I was scared. The problem wasn’t with my glasses. It was with my right eye. The rest of the story is here.

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, May 14th, 2017

Today’s podcast claims that Peek-a-boo I see you is the only game you can’t cheat at. And it’s magic. Real magic. Especially the I see you part. You put your hands up over your eyes and everything disappears…except what’s inside you. You catch a quick glimpse & a feeling of what’s really inside yourself. No words just a few quick images and sometimes deep feelings. It’s like taking a selfie of your entire universe for a moment. Then you put your hands down and the rest of the whole world suddenly re-appears, and puts you back in your place…or at least the place where you think you belong. It’s like you’re in control of the universe for just that moment. There are no words in there. Just some fast images and…feelings. That’s why even the littlest baby instinctively understands the game and laughs. No words, just feelings. A baby laughs when you play peek-a-boo with him because what’s inside him is happy. That’s a natural reaction to the fact that you’re paying attention to him. It’s a brilliant learning experience.