Archive for the ‘Dickie-Quickie’ Category

Dandy Dickie Quickie

Wednesday, October 14th, 2009

Lots of ideas for a reasonable name for God. (God is not a name, it’s a job description.)  Proud Podcast Participant Betsy came up with a beauty:

 I suggested we think of a name for God and my brother came up with Howard, as in Howard be thy name. 😉  



Monday, October 12th, 2009

Speaking of urine tests…as we were in this week’s blog/podcast, this is just in from Proud Podcast Participant Carole:

— did you ever hear about the guy who was an inpatient and the nurse came to check his urine sample each day.  She always had some pithy comment about the urine — quantity, color, clarity….and she was so freaking condescending. So, (let’s call him “Al”) – Al decides to play a little trick on miz snotty witch.  He has secreted a container of apple juice in his bedside table drawer.  Instead of peeing in the cup, he pours in the apple juice.  When nursey shows up, she lifts the cup….gently turns it and states “My, we’re a bit cloudy today, aren’t we??”  Al grabs the cup back — studies it a moment, then announces, “yah—-it IS cloudy — guess we’d better run it thru again” and he tosses it back, drinking the whole thing.  Nursey couldn’t get out of there quickly enough.  It’s one of those things you wish you’d thought of yourself.


Sunday, October 11th, 2009

Proud Podcast Participant Mighty Mike says he got several notices that we updated this week’s podcast. Sorry about that. New computer. Bill Gates’ Revenge. He also sent this important research on the all important Male-Female struggle:

A study conducted by UCLA’s Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the
kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.

However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more
attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Dickie – Quickie

Wednesday, September 16th, 2009
This seems to sum up what most of  you are saying about the “R Word.”
Hey Dick,  if you like your work and it brings in some extra money,  go for it!  Wonder why retirement scares the hell out of you though.   My Dad’s best years of his life were the last 13 when he pedaled his bicycle all over the USA and Europe. This worked out for my folks since Mom enjoyed having him gone so she could work on her geneology. 😉 I know you and LWW like to be together, and it could be such a new and exciting time for both of you — the best years of your lives just waiting to unfold.  
I happened to hear Whitney Houston talking to Oprah today.  She’s going to be just fine Dick.   Welcome back Whitney. 


Thursday, September 10th, 2009

This just in…from Proud Podcast Participant Jim:

     ….listening to Glasses Guy podcast yesterday (playing catch-up on
a couple podcasts I missed recentlly) and, once again, you hit it.  Just
yesterday, I went to the Optometrist (for the first time in 15 years)
with the thought that “maybe I ought to make it official and get an real
presciption, instead of continuing to buy the $15 drug store glosses.  
So yesterday, I officially became “glasses guy” and wear them all the
        We are not getting older…..we are just seeing better now.  
Besides Clark Kent has “quiet strength”…..    Thanks for your timely,
as usual, comments.  Keep it up.  -Jim-

Dickie – Quickie

Monday, July 20th, 2009

This just in from Ms. ManyWaters:

Enjoyed the new podcast. (sent it to some friends of mine who are still honeymooning after 24 years!) Are these solo pleasures useful to women too? Would love to find someone to give me a shower like on your CD. Had that happen once after a first time making love with my “lover” (another long story). Very good memories.

I have no idea what pleasures are useful to women, since I know next to nothing about women. As far as company in a shower is concerned, check out “The Shower Lady” in Night Connections 2. It’s one of the several stories in that cd that are pretty closely based on something that really happened.



Thursday, July 9th, 2009

Lots of  archives at if you’re interested.

Hey Dick,

Been listening to some archives and think you are right on with what you said  in the podcast “Sleeping Together” re the media and money.    At least prostitutes who sell their body are honest and up front about what they do.   Yes, it’s hypocrisy that deserves contempt.   Right on.
Loved the podcast “Merry Christmas” from Dec of 2008– the memories of your first Christmas with Wonder Wench and of your late father, who I can tell you adored.  That twitch he got in his mustache when he played that real low note on the organ — maybe that’s where you get the twitch in your eyebrow. 😉   And your plane ride on Christmas Eve — sounds magical.
Forget which one it was, but you talked about your crazy neighbors and the practical jokes ya’ll play. (sounds like a fun neighborhood you live in.) 😉    Reminded me of a practical joke that George Clooney played on one of his friends.  He was taking care of his friend’s cat and right before the friend got home, George cleaned out the litter box and then, how should I say this,  did his thing in there and covered it up so that his friend would wonder what the heck his cat had been eating, and how much!! 😉  If you tell Wonder Wench this  maybe the thought of that scene will disrupt  those daydreams of hers. 😉
Loved your son David‘s instrumental Christmas music  — wonder if he arranged it too.  He must be very right and left brained to be a computer programmer and also so creative.  BTW, you said there would be no podcast without him, so would you please give him a great big thank you for me??
And the history of Silent Night —  never knew that.  What a neat story and a lovely song.
“One Hit Wonders” was really good too.  I’m sure learning a lot! 😉  Always thought “Duke of Earl” was a cool song.
ps– Re the last podcast, there’s also the Puffy shirt, if you’ve ever watched Seinfeld.  Course, as Andrea pointed out, it’s not really about a shirt.


Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

Guess this will straighten me out:

Dear Dick:

First of all – if you never noticed, women’s blouses and men’s shirts, even if identical in all other ways, button on opposite sides.

There IS indeed such a thing as an “overshirt”.

Folks like Madonna make a habit of wearing “under” garments “out”.

You left out “hair shirts”…….

I understood the history of “keep your shirt on”.  I often wonder about the etiology of:  “Don’t get your drawers in a knot!!!”   Can you help me out on that one???

Thanks for sharing the story of LWW’s blouse.  So glad she got to wear it again!




Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

This is from Andrea…and I couldn’t agree more.

Nice to see that a shirt can be part of a miracle…here’s to many MORE miracles…

I’m not alone

Tuesday, June 30th, 2009

It’s nice to know I’m not alone:

Hey there, Dick.  Happy (belated) anniversary to you, too!  Keep doing what you do!!!.  I really look forward to checking out your blog and podcast each week. (And, your “Dickie-Quickies”, too.)   Sometimes I miss……due to work, etc. But I always get to check them out eventually, and I make sure never to skip one.

First of all, I wanted to tell you not to feel too badly about forgetting your own anniversary.  I suspect that you share this issue with millions of other guys.  (Just ask any woman!!!)

Much like LWW, I hung a framed copy of our wedding certificate on the wall of our bedroom.  I did this for two reasons:  first, it was beautiful.  (Bill and I got married on the beach in Maui, and it’s got orchids and all kinds of neat stuff and calligraphy on it.)  Second, he’s always told me that he’s bad with remembering dates: birthdays, anniversaries, you name it. So, I figured I’d “idiot-proof” our anniversary.  But, hey.  I didn’t count on that “guy” thing.  It seems that men (and I’m generalizing here) do NOT place anniversaries (or dates “to be remembered” of any kind) up there in the “very important” compartment of their compartmentalized brains.  Yep, men (unlike most women) have the ability to compartmentalize their thoughts each and every day!

Remember that book, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus?”  There was a lot of truth in that tome.  It seems that entire thought processes are gender-specific.  A great example of this is the gal whose boyfriend is driving her home after a night out.  She tries to make conversation on the ride home, and all she gets are monosyllabic responses.  She says goodnight and closes her door behind her only to begin obsessing about why he wouldn’t converse and therefore what was wrong with the relationship.  She calls her best friend on the phone and together they try to work through what is happening.  “Is there someone else?  Are they growing apart?? etc etc etc.

Meanwhile, the boyfriend, on the way home, is still trying to figure out why the “service required” light is showing on his dashboard.

just thought I’d let you know your not alone on forgetting anniversaries I’ve been married to my bride for 38yrs. together 40yrs. probably been home for 15 of them so sometimes in the middle of a long night I’ll go sh— and remember it’s our anniversary so at 2am i make a call and it is like I never forgot (she knows i did but keeps it ) Dick they know were not perfect if they thought we were they would have moved on and not picked us out of the crowed. they wanted reality not perfection ( which we know`we are  in our minds). Someday I’ll write about meeting the lovely lady I met one Saturday afternoon helping a friend get some 2ND hand furniture and ended up with 40yrs of what a life!!