A Top Of The Mind Temptation

I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, scratching my head. My Lady Wonder Wench says I need a haircut…again. I just had one about a month ago. So…I’ve been seriously considering just shaving my head, and going boldly bald…like an eagle. It’s a temptation. A “top of the mind temptation.”

 I mention this to you although I realize that lack of public interest in my personal appearance has reached epidemic proportions. And the shave-head look is now so common that it gets about as much attention as a goose bump on Dolly Parton.

 The shiny bald look is very stylish these days on very masculine guys…linebackers, marines and astronauts. Women very seldom go bald. They also don’t spit, scratch, flatulate, or make rude noises with their hands and armpits…which is why they will probably never play major league baseball.  

 There are some obvious positives about shaving my head. Saves time and $20 haircuts. And it would add more rubbing area for when my Lady gives me a back rub…picture this…she can go all the way up my back, then all the way up my neck, across my head, and down my face…and chest…and…hey…you can never tell…I could get lucky.

 A couple of my buddies say when you have a perfectly good head of hair it would be stupid to shave it off. But Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation keeps whispering in my ear. He’s saying…”Big deal. You’re kind of famous for doing dumb things anyway. What’s one more.” Louie is what you might call a permissive chief mustard cutter. He says things like, “Just do the best you can under the circumstances.” Louie is a great chief mustard cutter, but he wouldn’t make it as a flight instructor.

 Actually I have done a lot of dumb things in my life. Maybe you have too. And maybe you have found, as I have, that when you do something really klutzy, you can sometimes get away with it by doing what cats do. When a cat does something really dumb, he just stops, shakes himself, and licks some part of his body for a while…gives you a bored look, and slinks away. Don’t do that licking part in public unless you really want to start a controversy. Cats don’t care what we think of them. And we can learn from that. As far as your cat is concerned you are put into this life mainly to open cans for him. 

 Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1- Why are those big cats called cheetahs ?

2- What would be an appropriate name for the moon ?

3- Who didn’t want to go down in history as a Tor looser ?

 Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

 I was telling you about a bald back rub a little while ago. I really do love a good back rub. And I found a way to give somebody a backrub without ever actually touching, one evening while I was talking to my Lady Wonder Wench on the phone. I put it in the Quiet Hands Personal Audio Cd, and in the current podcast. I think one of the main reasons people come in pairs…is so we can give each other backrubs. If you like that audio back rub, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download  it from the Quiet Hands icon on the opening page. It’s not as good as a backrub from somebody beautiful, with long fingernails, a tender heart, and a warm smile…but it’s better than nothing.

 So what do you think? Should I give in to this top of the mind temptation and go boldly bald like an eagle ? I keep thinking I could have fun with it…I could paint a little smiley face on the back of my head and every time I tip my hat, somebody behind me would get a chuckle. I never got a crew cut back in the days. But I let it grow long in the sixties…and you should have seen my mustache…I was always trying to use it to brush my teeth without using my hands…but it never worked. My buddy Doug has long hair, a mustache and a beard. He looks like an arm pit. The helmet I wear riding my bike has a nice shiny top, and I think that looks pretty good. Of course it’s black and I’m not. I think shiny top black guys look much better than shiny top white guys. They look like Darth Vader. We look like mushrooms.

 I kind of like the Buddhist monk look. They always seem all holy, and smiling, and gentle…but they also always have this attitude like…give me a hard time, and I’ll fold my hands in prayer while I kick your head off with one foot. It’s like, listen fella, I’m a nice guy, but under my jeans, I’m wearing boxer shorts…and I know how to use them.

 What do you think ? Should I do it ? Or should I just do what my Lady Wonder Wench wants me to do…get another $20 haircut. Send me an email. Dick@Dicksummer.com


Oh…and if you are a shiny top, is it true that you have to be careful that your head doesn’t slip off the pillow at night ?

6 Responses to “A Top Of The Mind Temptation”

  1. Mike Walsh says:

    Ahhh…don’t do it! First of all, you’ll need to spend all the money you saved from haircuts on sun screen for your head. And, you can forget about all your cool hats as none of them will fit right anymore.

    Belive me, you’ll need to re-do the shaving on a regular basis. Uncle Sam shaved me down in basic training, and when I went home on pass my friends said “Cool, man, you look like a suede bowling ball!” … Not something that one could call a cool nickname and all my girlfriend at the time could do was laugh. Get a photshop like program, and scan a picture of yourself, then take off the hair. I’ll wait…

    See what I mean?

  2. aliasJean Fox says:

    I think shaved heads are extremely ugly, and if you do that to your nice head of hair, I will NEVER speak to you again!!!

    On the other hand, the “smiley” has already been done …………………

    stay tuned for an actuality!

  3. Carole says:

    NOOOOO!!!! Do NOT do it!!! First of all, I don’t think it’s an attractive look at all. Second, as Mike said, you’d be spending a bunch of cash on sunscreen. Third, you’d become a real nuisance, because the glare reflecting off your chrome-dome would be blinding those around you, necessitating much sunglasses wearing!!! You could actually become a hazard. Think about your fellow pilots! Glare reflecting off your head in the cabin could blind them!!!
    Of course, you WOULD be easier to locate in a crowd on a sunny day…..!!!
    I like Mike’s idea about using photoshop or a similar program for a dry run.
    THAT should cure you of the urge.

  4. dick butler says:

    Now think about it how would you look wearing a wool stocking hat.because you live where winter is really bad this year and wool is itchey.so you will be scratching all the time.

  5. sgtyukon says:

    Mike Walsh is right, you do need more sunscreen if you shave your head. You need more razor blades and shaving cream too and it helps to have another mirror behind you. It’s higher maintenance than haircuts, every two or three days instead of every month. Have you seen what razor blades cost these days? And when you take a shower, you have to pay extra for hot wax!

    I shave my head sometimes, because it helps to hide the grey, but I’m bald so it isn’t much work. As a Louie Louie guy, you have to ask yourself will a chrome dome make you happier than it will make Lady Wonder Wench unhappy.

  6. Betsy says:

    Dick, the guys you see with shaved heads are likely to have very little hair to begin with, I doubt many shave off an already beautiful head of hair. And I agree with everything else that was said -it’s more of a hassle. Having said that, if you really want to experience a shaved head, I say go for it. Hair grows, and if you already need a haircut after a month, yours grows fast.