Life is like a giant roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. That’s one of the truest statements ever made by Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie- Louie Generation. Hard to believe, but it’s time for the Lazy, Crazy, Hazy Days of Saturdays In the Park, with the Summer Wind blowing in the hair of the girls in Itsy, Bitsy, Teenie, Weenie, Yellow Polkadot Bikinis, as they’re Walking in the Sand on Summer Days and lounging around watching the fireworks with you from Under the Boardwalk on Soft Summer Nights.
Where I grew up in Brooklyn, when there were no more pencils, no more books, no more teacher’s dirty looks, it was stickball, kick the can, The Cyclone Roller Coaster and the Parachute Jump at Coney Island, Italian ice cups, hanging on the stoop with some of the guys singing doo-wop, cheap dates on the Staten Island ferry that was a short cruise from Brooklyn to Staten Island for about a quarter. The Mets and the Yanks and Fourth of July fireworks that stretched for miles along the harbor and parades with Seventy Six Trombones and the absolutely most beautiful girls in the world wearing their summer dresses.
I was a lifeguard on Bay 22 at Coney Island. And I had a quick lesson about women one day. I had a girlfriend who’s name was Matilda. Red hair, blue eyes, smart, and sweet. She used to make me lunch, and bring it down to the beach with her. One day, I went out to bring in a swimmer who was having trouble, and I used a life guard technique called the cross chest carry. In this case, the swimmer happened to be a rather attractive young lady, and in the process of bringing her in, the top of her bathing suit slipped rather drastically. I swear in this particular instance I had no control over the situation. The surf was pretty big at the time, and I had all I could do to swim in against a pretty tough undertow. But as I’m sure Big Louie could have predicted just as I helped the girl out of the water and she was hastily adjusting her bathing suit who shows up? Matilda of course. She took one look, took the sandwiches she had made out of their wrappers, and threw them on the sand, stepped on them and stormed out of my life.
I’ve told my Lady Wonder Wench about this in the interests of full disclosure and because if I didn’t a couple of my buddies probably would have mentioned it anyway and she actually took Matilda’s side. Honest to God was innocent. That time. Every time I claim innocence about anything I get the strangest look from Ms. Wench.
If you’re a member of the Louie-Louie Generation, you probably remember before cars had air conditioning, and people drove around with their elbows stuck out the windows trying to get some air and looking cool. When I was a disk jockey in those days, it was kind of neat to pull up to the guy next to you at a stop light, and listen for what station he had on his am only radio. It was a little like walking down a beach, and hearing your station on the portable radios playing The Jamies Summertime, Summertime, or the Spoonful’s Summer in the City, or Drifter’s Up on the Roof.
A lot of people didn’t understand that one. In New York, and lots of big cities, the rooftops were called tar beach. And folks who couldn’t get away for the day, but could grab an hour, would go up there to get a tan. Lots of times the dress code was optional. Which is why I think a lot of guys learned to fly helicopters.
One of the really great times in my broadcasting career was in Indianapolis. I did a show on WIBC radio from a studio that was built for me on top of a drive in restaurant. We had local bands come in, and we broadcast them from the parking lot and we played Make it or Break It with new records every night. In Boston, I worked at WBZ, and we broadcast almost all day from a trailer we called the Sundeck Studio at Nantasket beach. We had ice cube tossing contests, and hot dog eating contests, and wet bikini scavenger hunts for goofy prizes like crazy feet they were big plastic things that looked a little like swim fins, but they had big ugly toes painted on the tops.
Those were the days when I felt like some kind of Sunshine Superman.
There’s a story about that time of my life in the Personal Audio Cd called Lovin Touch. It’s called Losers. I was going to say that we didn’t have very much back then but that’s not true. I’ve got to tell you that Loser’s Shower was some kind of Joy To The World. If you like Losers you can just keep the podcast, or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Lovin Touch icon on the opening page.
Dick’s Details Quiz. (All answers are in the current podcast.)
1- How do we know that Giraffes are the animal kingdom’s best kissers
2- If a woman giggles when you kiss her, what should you do ?
3- Exactly what is a Mickey Quickie?
Dick’s Details, they take your mind off your mind.
Summer means cookouts and graduations, and even weddings for those of us who are members of the Louie-Louie Generation. We are in the early Autumn of our lives. It’s a good time to be alive. But he really nailed it Big Louie, his own bad self the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation. It’s true. Life really is like a giant roll of toilet paper. And the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Get some summer lovin’ while you can.
Drop me a note if you’d like to add some Special Summer Memories – Dick@DickSummer.com