Dick Summer Connection

 

 

Some things just work out for guys. Occasionally we win…even when we screw up and we should go down to bitter defeat. A little while ago, my Lady Wonder Wench said…”eee-youuu.” That’s Lady Wonder Wench talk for “Please come over here and kill this bug for me.”  So I did…without thinking that this particular bug happened to be walking on the kitchen table at the time…and that was NOT exactly where Lady Wonder Wench intended for me to do the deed.  

Like a lot of Louie-Louie Generation guys, sometimes I just don’t think things through. That’s why we need guidance from Big Louie…his own bad self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation. He makes things so simple. He says, “Just figure out what you don’t do well, and don’t do those things.” Brilliant. He says, “Deep down we’re all pretty superficial”…and he’s right. He says “Why make things complicated. The answer to the common cold is gesundheidt.” Danke schon ! is all I can say. But his explanation for why a guy is attracted to a particular woman is one of his top ten best. He says, “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder”…that’s one of my favorites.

 

Big Louie’s philosophy is based in part, on his own personal experiences. He had a tough childhood. He claims his father brought him home from the maternity ward strapped to the fender of the family car. When he grew up he met a girl and promised to swim the deepest river for her, and climb the highest mountain…and cross the widest desert for her. They got married, but then she divorced him after a couple of months because she said he was never home. So in order to deal with certain personal cravings, he bought an inflatable woman, and when he blew her up, it looked just like his ex wife.

 

Big Louie became a scholar…and an expert on the musings of the philosopher known as Popeye the Sailor Man…who always said, “I yam who I yam who I yam.” And I am delighted to report that

Proud Podcast Participant Steve Crowley has followed Big Louie’s example. Steve has posted his own web site…and it’s really a fine piece of work. He says his site is broad band for the broad minded.” I like that. It’s honest and it’s to the point. You can check out Steve’s site at http://mono-cheese-factory.com

 

Steve got me to thinking that it’s been a while since I told you what the weekly podcast and this blog is all about. It’s about connection, company, and a kick in the butt.

 

Here’s what I mean: Lots of people helped me get through lots of nights for lots of years while I was on the air. And I hope that worked around the other way too. I don’t want to lose a connection with those people. They were important to me then, and they’ll always be important to me as long as there are nights to get through. That’s the main reason I call the podcast GoodNight. Nights can be tough. That’s the connection part of the podcast.

 

The company part works like this. There are lots of people who hear this podcast who never heard me on the air. I like keeping company with them too. One of the toughest things about nights…one of the biggest reasons we need some company… is that nights can be Godawful lonely. I’m not quite so egotistical to think that just a few minutes of conversation on the podcast, or a few sentences in this blog is any kind of adequate substitute for an in person…person… in anybody’s life. But hey…it’s a genuine human interaction. It’s company. It’s better than nothing.

 

And the kick in the butt works like this. Quite a few Louie-Louie Generation people have limp limbic systems. Your limbic system is the part of your brain that lights up when a guy walks into a room and a woman’s eyebrow…twitches…and he notices and understands. And some heat ensues. Or a woman thoughtfully puts some padding on her headboard when she invites a gentleman friend over for a late dinner…just in case.

 

Louie-Louie lit our limbic systems when we were kids. All the guys had the “absolutely and completely authentic official lyrics” on slips of paper that we kept in our wallets…and the more popular girls didn’t mind if we sang them softly into one ear at the record hops. You remember record hops. Yes you do.

 

It’s easy to let your limbic system go limp when times get tough…when you’ve had to join groups like Parents Without Paychecks…and some days it seems like it takes all you’ve got to keep up with the losers. Once you moved like a cat. You were the Fonz of the disco…now you move as little as possible, and you dance a little like the Pope probably dances.

 

Part of that comes from a lot of years of being disappointed and deceived. Louie-Louie Generation people have been around for a while. Some of us haven’t trusted any body since we found out that ice cream cones aren’t filled all the way to the bottom. And getting your heart broken and your head cracked over and over again really louses up your limbic system.

 

So lots of Louie-Louie Generation women cope by always having pms…which is why some guys cope by always having espn.  And sometimes all of us seem to forget that life is just a phase we’re going through…and we’ll be over it soon enough. That’s why I want to give us all a kick in the butt. I say when you catch yourself saying things like…”Don’t tell ME what kind of a day to have,” it’s time to pay attention to Big Louie when he says…”Of course the world sucks. But if it didn’t we’d all fall off.”

 

Dick’s Details quiz. All the answers are in the current podcast at www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest

 

1- Why couldn’t the Inca Indians write their entire long history ?

2- Why do giraffes have such clean ears?

3 If you get a phone call in the middle of the night, and all you hear is heavy breathing…how do you know you have probably been contacted by a giraffe who wants to kiss you?

 

 Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

 

There’s a story in the Night Connections Personal Audio cd about a woman whose limbic light got lit up pretty good when she was hit with a quick and surprising power surge, while she was just sitting in her living room, minding her own business, looking at her husband. It’s about three magic words…”anything you want.”

 

When you say, “anything you want”…you’re jumping off an emotional cliff. The story is called, “The Chance Taking Wife.” If you like it you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to the opening page of the website, and download it from the Night Connections icon.

 

Sometimes…guys luck out. Even when we have no right to win. Here’s what I mean: I think as far as you women are concerned, guys are mostly like big dogs who can talk. Most of us really like to curl up in bed with you, we like to lick you, and we tend to be very messy.  But I think that deep down, lots of women have a hunch that they could get along just fine without us. Somebody once said that if there were no men in the world, we would have no wars, we would have no organized crime, and we would have lots and lots of fat, happy, women. Somebody else once said, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” Well…maybe so.

 

But here’s why guys win. What would you do without a guy when a big ugly bug lands on your kitchen table.

 

Ha !

This entry was posted on Saturday, March 21st, 2009 at 8:53 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.