Dick Summer Connection

Dick’s Details are always a part of the podcast. Today is no exception. It’s hard to describe Dick’s Details. So here’s part of today’s installment: 

Dick’s Details, a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s interfering with your romantic life out the other ear, and you can live a happy, healthy and hot life forever after…as it says in my book…Staying Happy Healthy And Hot which is available at Amazon dot com…shameless plug. The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that only humans get headaches. Which means that because they are not human, lady rabbits don’t get headaches. And maybe that’s why male rabbits always seem to have such big smiles on their faces…and also lots of little rabbits hopping around. If the answer is “They wear dresses with low necklines,” what is the question. Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute. Historians say that 16^th century French doctors prescribed chocolate for sexual problems. Maybe other 16the century guys found solutions to their sexual problems with chocolate, as in “Hello my dear. Would you like a piece of chocolate my dear?” Why do the words, “my dear” make any comment sound so deliciously suggestive?  “Exocannibals” eat their enemies. “Indocannibals” eat their friends. Which I think brings a whole new meaning to the idea of inviting some friends over for dinner. In a single day, a pair of termites can produce as many as 30,000 offspring. I guess lady termites don’t get headaches either. Just lady humans get headaches. Which often gives human guys fits. If the answer is “They wear dresses with low necklines,” the question is “How do some girls keep their boyfriends on their toes?” They wear dresses with low necklines. You know…that brings up another question. “Who ever decided to call making out necking?” He was really missing the point I think. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

When a baby is born, you spend the first two years of his or her life teaching him or her how to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling the kid to shut up and sit down. Today’s podcast says, “Maybe when you’re dealing with a teenager, confusion is sometimes un-avoidable. But confusing or not, we’ve got to do the best we can to deal with our kids, or lord knows what they’ll do when they grow up. Without your guidance, they might do terrible things. Some might even become politicians.” ( Oh NO!  Give a listen please. You don’t want that to happen. )

Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation Louie says in today’s podcast, “Maybe it’s right to call a very young woman…Miss, because miss is an appropriate and descriptive term for a young woman who has probably been hit on by plenty of guys…but so far they have all missed. That’s probably where we got the term “miss.” And if that’s where we got the word, “miss,” maybe we got the word “mister” from some frustrated guy who hit on a woman and missed her. “Mister.” And maybe “Mrs.” means everybody who hits on a “Mrs.”…misses. Except her husband if she doesn’t get a headache and maybe he gets lucky. I got lucky…a long time ago…with my Mrs. Give a listen please.

Big Louie says, in today’s podcast, we should be very careful about romantic affairs. He says, for example:  “There’s nothing wrong with hugging a tree … as long as that’s as far as it goes.  But maybe you’ll have to back off a bit if your girlfriend or boyfriend gets jealous finding bark stains on your shirt collar.” And don’t forget one of his really important and often ignored statements: “Relationships build up between business people.  But romances have to  explode between lovers.” Big difference. It’s a little like the difference between knowledge and wisdom. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is really a fruit, not a veggy. Wisdom is knowing that maybe it would be better if you didn’t put that tomato in a fruit salad. Looks like this young guy is already working on his wisdom.

My Lady Wonder Wench and I have been together for a long time. And today’s podcast s about how I sometimes wonder how I got so lucky. There were lots of “maybes” involved. It’s like Stephen Hawking said: “The most exciting words in physics aren’t ‘Now we know’, the most exciting words in physics are “How come?” “How come” is another way of saying “Maybe.” The first answer to my question about how I got so lucky to have her in my life, that comes to my feverish mind  is sex. But then I remember that Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie generation always claims that, “Sex is never the answer”. Louie says “Sex is often the question. And if you get lucky the answer is sometimes yes.” My Lady and I have had our differences over all the years we’ve  been together. And maybe one reason we’re still together is that I really like her “differences.” Give a listen, please.

“Shazam” is a fake magic word. “Maybe” is a real magic word. You can say “Shazam” till you run out of breath and nothing will happen. You won’t get a fancy cape and the ability to fly. But when you say “Maybe” and mean it, just once, your mighty imagination fires up and goes to work. Today’s podcast says, “Maybe” can change everything for you. My lovely Lady Wonder Wench just came out of her shower. She’s wearing a towel wrapped around her hair, her soft, blue bathrobe, and her “two piece.” That’s her bedroom slippers…her “two piece.” Sometimes she sinks around here wearing just her two piece…and through the years, those have been some of my luckiest, happiest times. There were lots of “Maybes” in how we got together. Some Maybes have more of a chance of success than others. Maybe this guy will be ok. After all he knows it’s a “perfectly safe” parachute. Maybe you’ll give today’s podcast a listen. 

Mick Jagger and his Rolling Stones buddies still can’t “Get No Satisfaction.” But you can. Today’s podcast explains the simple joys of Sex, Steak, Showers, Scratches, Smiling, and Snoozes. That first one is especially important and satisfying. 

Today’s podcast ‘splains the difference between the way men and women take a shower. ‘Splain-ing things is something I like to do. Give a listen and let me ‘splain what I mean.

Taking a shower is different from being sent to the shower. Today’s podcast is about how the same thing is kind of different, depending on how you look at it. Give a listen please. I don’t want to be the only one who is astonished by this.

Once upon a time, when I was a little kid, one day my mom finally let me take a shower by myself. Up till then she always gave me a bath. It was like a rite of passage from babyhood to kid hood. But for quite a while, she very enthusiastically toweled me off. I sometimes wondered if she was trying to erase me. I later learned that she just wanted to be sure I looked as good as possible. I think it had something to do with little Jeanie Campbell who lived next door. When I got a little older I developed the same concern all by myself. Jeanie turned out to be a knockout. For those of you who also want to become irresistible, give a listen to today’s podcast.