Dick Summer Connection

I’d like today’s podcast to make you a “Why-s Guy.” As in why would you want to have a date with anybody who looks out the window when it’s raining and says, “Let’s go for a walk in the rain?” And speaking of walking, if walking is so good for you why does Bill, our mailman looks like Jabba the Hut? And why doesn’t that woman who said she wouldn’t go out with you if you were the last person on earth realize that she couldn’t go out with you if you were the last person on earth, because if you were the last person on earth, she wouldn’t be here. And why is there a smoking section in some restaurants? Isn’t that like having a peeing section in a swimming pool? And WHY is the only thing we all have in common is that we’re all different? Some of us are so different from the rest of us that it’s hard to keep our hands off each other. 

Why are we such a bunch of “Why-s Guys?” Today’s podcast asks: When you walk into your doctor’s office and there’s nobody in the waiting room why do you sometimes think, “Why is this? Has everybody else died.” Why when somebody says, “How are you?”  why do you always say, “I’m fine” even when your temperature is 164 degrees, your wife just ran off with your best friend and left you, and you just got fired. “I’m fine.” Men & Women are very different about most thing, but we’re pretty much the same when it comes to being “Why-s Guys.”

I am becoming a why-s guy. Lots of why-s in today’s podcast. For example, why is it that in my head I’m 27 years old, so why does that old guy’s head keep looking back at me when I’m shaving in the morning. Why? And when you walk into your doctor’s office and there’s nobody in the waiting room do you ever think, “Why is this? Has everybody else died.” Why when somebody says, “How are you?” do you always say, “I’m fine” even when your temperature is 164 degrees, your wife just ran off with your best friend and left you, and you just got fired. “I’m fine.” And why are there so many kind of gasses? Some you put in your car, and some you…emit.

Today’s podcast is about being a why-s guy. For example, why should I trust that the words in the dictionary aren’t misspelled? And why are loneliness and cheeseburgers such a dangerous combination? Why don’t we just quit voting to see if the politicians will all just go away? If stop lights are timed for 35 mph, why doesn’t that mean they’re also timed for 70mph? If sex is so dirty and shameful, why are we supposed to save it for someone we love? And on that subject, why don’t women ever say “Let’s go to bed and have sex”? Yes, why don’t they? And on that subject, don’t you just hate it when some guy says, “We’re pregnant.” BS. SHE’s pregnant and he’s usually scared spitless. Worse yet, is “We’re working at getting pregnant.” That’s WORK? Work, work work away is what I say. Let’s do overtime. 

Who, what, when, where and why are the five questions any story should answer. Today’s podcast says the most important question is “Why?” So I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly black leather poppa chair in my living room thinking about the whys in my life. For example, why do I leave the expensive house I live in, and get dressed up in expensive clothes, drive through tough traffic in a car I’m still paying for, to get to a job that I need to pay for the clothes, the car, and the house I’m not in, because I’m at work? And is the reason it’s called work because all the other four letter words were taken? Give a listen for the answer.

Today’s podcast is about a problem most guys have. They mostly grunt at ladies. Then they spit and scratch. But Louie Louie Generation guys like me, spin stories for our ladies instead. We know that ladies like stories. And we like ladies. “Once upon a time” it is said, a little Louie Louie Generation frog told a wonderful story he called “Ribit-Ribit” to a princess. “Ribit-Ribit” was all he said. But it made her smile. He was just a little frog, but she liked his “Ribit-Ribit”story so much that she kissed him, and he instantly turned into a prince, complete with a fancy carriage. At least that’s what the Princess told her mother when she walked into the bedroom and found that handsome young man in there with her daughter. Mom wasn’t buying it. She had the frog’s carriage toad away. It’s really tough being a guy. We do the best we can with what we have to offer. But it is a problem. Guys have lots of problems. Especially with women.

“Honesty = The Truth + Maybe.” That’s the formula for figuring things out, according to today’s podcast. Way too many politicians, religious leaders and even lovers seem to forget that magic word, “Maybe.” Give a listen and maybe we can scratch our heads together. 

Ladies like stories. “Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. She was almost as beautiful as you…my dear.” Stories use the pre-frontal framamgamus in the brain, which is a part of the brain which is not well developed in guys. Today’s podcast notes that Louie Louie Generation guys like ladies so much that we fire up our pre-frontal framagami to stun if necessary to entertain our ladies. That takes more effort than most Pimple People guys are willing to spend. Score one for us. Listen to today’s podcast, and prepare to stand up and do the wave!

How cool are Louie Louie Generation guys? Today’s podcast explains our cool-ness. It gives some of the reasons we are the bed-mates of choice for Porn Stars, Catherine Zeta Jones Lookalikes, and highly successful women of all kinds. Give a listen. As the podcast explains, you’ll come away with a smile that looks like a piano keyboard in heat!

Today’s podcast talks about life in a tough, dangerous neighborhood, where even the squirrels wear face masks, the ice cream man rides around in an armored truck, and the parish choir is into punk rock. Cops have to leave no stone un-turned to keep you safe in a neighborhood like that.