Dick Summer Connection

Today’s podcast is about a Thanksgiving night a number of years ago, when I started the Men Are Saints campaign on WNBC radio. I called it the M.A.S. appeal. Men are saints.  The idea came from remembering a Thanksgiving watching what happened when my Lady Wonder Wench, and our daughter Kris, and my Sister in law Beth were scurrying around preparing dinner, while the guys were…otherwise occupied. Here’s the point: Men are seldom given credit for our sensitivity, our intelligence and our selfless behavior. For example, here in the Northeast, Thanksgiving is usually celebrated on a cold day. So where do we men traditionally encourage our women to spend the day? Right. In the warmest room in the house. The kitchen. While we, on the other hand, in a manly display of selfless courage, throw ourselves in front of the tv screen to protect our loved ones from the terrible effects of the cathode rays that squirt out of the picture tube. I think those harmful rays must be the reason for the pain so many of us get during commercials for erectile disfunction medications, which if not used under a doctor’s HMO plan, can cause us to get permanently stuck in the upright condition, therefore making it necessary for us to walk bent over at all social functions till the following March.

I’m sitting in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, looking forward to the arrival of Mr. Turkey, Mr. Claus, and then Mr. Baby New Year’s Eve. In today’s podcast I was telling you what my great, great, grandfather, Myles Standish Summer used to say, “Turkeys are really dumb. They even walk up to you on Thanksgiving and they say, gobble gobble gobble”…and so we do.” If I were the Big Turkey, I’d tell my guys… ”Look …enough with the gobble gobble. Shut up. And while you’re at it, go get yourself a trick or treat costume with big eyes and a funny little tail. And learn to take funny hops like the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny survives Easter.” But that doesn’t happen. Those guys never learn. They’re like the deer around here. I could never figure out why Bambi doesn’t take the little bambinos aside and tell them, “You know those big, noisy machines with the two bright eyes that come roaring around at night? Don’t stand in the middle of the road and look at them. Get out of the way.” I guess through history, it has always been man against beast. 

Fantasies like in today’s podcast can keep you warm inside. But you’ve got to keep your outside warm too on these after baseball chilly days. Go for it. 

Another whacko week. But T.G.I.F., which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s keeping you awake at night out the other ear, and you can nod off comfortably to sleep. he President and the Vice President are not allowed to travel together. I do not know if they are allowed to shower together. Do you know why your love life looks like a bathing suit ? Of course not. I’ll tell you in a minute. Colby’s restaurant in New Hampshire banned politicians during the recent primary. I suppose they like to cater to a higher quality customer. Congress creates an average of 56 new crimes each year. There’s something silly about those people calling other people criminals. Takes one to know one I guess. Oh yeah…your love life looks like a bathing suit because it all depends on what you put into it. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please be like Columbus and go explore them. 

In today’s podcast you’ll hear about a guy named Bill, a girl named Rose, and some strange going on-s at a ski lodge with my Lady Wonder Wench. It’s a fantasy in which I became…borderline… Harrison Ford like. It’s a fantasy remember. There were things I had to…”fix.”

It’s the dark age. No more Daylight Savings Time. I love the dark…the middle of the night. It’s a thick, warm, fantasy forest, where real, soft flesh and hot blood often turn fantasies into realities. Today’s podcast is an invitation to jump into your fantasies. 

Today’s podcast is called “Midnight Fantasies.” It includes one of my favorite true to life fantasies about a ski lodge, my Lady Wonder Wench, a friend of hers by the name of Rose, and a guy named Bill. As you might expect, Bill was not my favorite guy. I think I would call him…”strange.”

The Dark Age is upon us. The daylight times are gone. No more baseball, beaches and girls in their soft Summer dresses until next Spring. Today’s podcast is full of the night. Perfume traces, heroes and villains, and touch me looks flicking across rooms. Of course, sometimes the night covers sights you’d rather not remember. 

Today’s podcast is about fantasies. Black lace falling quietly on a soft carpet, touch me looks flicking across rooms, warm hands in sensitive places, a lover’s key turning in a lock…fantasies. That’s what today’s podcast is about. Fantasies are the difference between wearing underpants or wearing a thong.  Of course there ARE all kinds of fantasies. 

Lots of good stories are made up. Here’s one from today’s podcast. Icaught my nasty next door neighbor Steve putting Jello in the bird bath so he could watch the birds bounce their landings. Fake News. But FUN fake news. Here’s some real news, news. There is now an airline that calls itself Cheapo Air. Now I’m a pilot, and I think if I flew for Cheapo Air part of my welcome speech to passengers would have to include, Welcome to Cheapo Air, where we pass along the savings that we get from skipping things like regular maintainence, and pilot training. So please remember, while we’re in flight, please observe the no screaming signs.