Archive for November, 2017

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, November 19th, 2017

I’m sitting in my big, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, looking forward to the arrival of Mr. Turkey, Mr. Claus, and then Mr. Baby New Year’s Eve. In today’s podcast I was telling you what my great, great, grandfather, Myles Standish Summer used to say, “Turkeys are really dumb. They even walk up to you on Thanksgiving and they say, gobble gobble gobble”…and so we do.” If I were the Big Turkey, I’d tell my guys… ”Look …enough with the gobble gobble. Shut up. And while you’re at it, go get yourself a trick or treat costume with big eyes and a funny little tail. And learn to take funny hops like the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny survives Easter.” But that doesn’t happen. Those guys never learn. They’re like the deer around here. I could never figure out why Bambi doesn’t take the little bambinos aside and tell them, “You know those big, noisy machines with the two bright eyes that come roaring around at night? Don’t stand in the middle of the road and look at them. Get out of the way.” I guess through history, it has always been man against beast. 

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, November 18th, 2017

Fantasies like in today’s podcast can keep you warm inside. But you’ve got to keep your outside warm too on these after baseball chilly days. Go for it. 

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, November 17th, 2017

Another whacko week. But T.G.I.F., which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s keeping you awake at night out the other ear, and you can nod off comfortably to sleep. he President and the Vice President are not allowed to travel together. I do not know if they are allowed to shower together. Do you know why your love life looks like a bathing suit ? Of course not. I’ll tell you in a minute. Colby’s restaurant in New Hampshire banned politicians during the recent primary. I suppose they like to cater to a higher quality customer. Congress creates an average of 56 new crimes each year. There’s something silly about those people calling other people criminals. Takes one to know one I guess. Oh yeah…your love life looks like a bathing suit because it all depends on what you put into it. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, please be like Columbus and go explore them. 

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, November 16th, 2017

In today’s podcast you’ll hear about a guy named Bill, a girl named Rose, and some strange going on-s at a ski lodge with my Lady Wonder Wench. It’s a fantasy in which I became…borderline… Harrison Ford like. It’s a fantasy remember. There were things I had to…”fix.”

 

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, November 15th, 2017

It’s the dark age. No more Daylight Savings Time. I love the dark…the middle of the night. It’s a thick, warm, fantasy forest, where real, soft flesh and hot blood often turn fantasies into realities. Today’s podcast is an invitation to jump into your fantasies. 

 

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, November 14th, 2017

Today’s podcast is called “Midnight Fantasies.” It includes one of my favorite true to life fantasies about a ski lodge, my Lady Wonder Wench, a friend of hers by the name of Rose, and a guy named Bill. As you might expect, Bill was not my favorite guy. I think I would call him…”strange.”

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, November 13th, 2017

The Dark Age is upon us. The daylight times are gone. No more baseball, beaches and girls in their soft Summer dresses until next Spring. Today’s podcast is full of the night. Perfume traces, heroes and villains, and touch me looks flicking across rooms. Of course, sometimes the night covers sights you’d rather not remember. 

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, November 12th, 2017

Today’s podcast is about fantasies. Black lace falling quietly on a soft carpet, touch me looks flicking across rooms, warm hands in sensitive places, a lover’s key turning in a lock…fantasies. That’s what today’s podcast is about. Fantasies are the difference between wearing underpants or wearing a thong.  Of course there ARE all kinds of fantasies. 

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, November 11th, 2017

Lots of good stories are made up. Here’s one from today’s podcast. Icaught my nasty next door neighbor Steve putting Jello in the bird bath so he could watch the birds bounce their landings. Fake News. But FUN fake news. Here’s some real news, news. There is now an airline that calls itself Cheapo Air. Now I’m a pilot, and I think if I flew for Cheapo Air part of my welcome speech to passengers would have to include, Welcome to Cheapo Air, where we pass along the savings that we get from skipping things like regular maintainence, and pilot training. So please remember, while we’re in flight, please observe the no screaming signs.

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, November 10th, 2017

T.G.I.F, which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s making you crazy out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. The average American uses 54 feet of dental floss every year. I don’t think 54 feet would be the best place to use dental floss. If the answer is “Try eating it with your other hand” what is the question. Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute. 54% of Americans believe that humans lived at the same time as dinosaurs. Those people should not be left un-attended. There is an actual job called “Mother Repairer.” It doesn’t mean what you think. Back in the days of LPs and 45s, the master discs from which the vinal disc was pressed was called a “Mother.” The Mother Repairer removed dirt and metal shavings from the grooves of the “Mother Master” so the discs they pressed wouldn’t make clicking noises. So the Mother Repairer really had nothing to do with your mother…although you might want to listen to your mother closely in case she is making a clicking sound which might indicate she needs some dirt or metal shavings removed. If the answer is “Try eating it with your other hand” the question is “What should you do if your pretzel tastes really awful?” Try eating it with your other hand. That’s especially true if you usually lose ten pounds every time you clean under your fingernails. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housecleaning here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs  or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot , please tell a couple of friends will you. They might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor.