Dick Summer Connection

The three rules of the Dick Summer Connection are: 1- Stay positive. 2- No politics. 3- Be as honest as possible. If you’ve followed dicksummer.com/podcast you know about my magical Lady Wonder Wench. She followed the rules with this one:

LADY WONDER WENCH WRITES

I think I could say that I would rather read a good book than eat. And I re-read any number of books for the sheer joy of the writer’s talent with words. Usually I don’t read anything written in the first person, Marcus Aurelius and Winston Churchill aside. But the Louis Louis Lad got me Hillary Clinton’s WHAT HAPPENED on my Kindle (which is where I keep books I can’t get copies of and/or that I will probably not read again), so I settled down to read her take on the past election. There is a great amount of real information, solid descriptions of people and events, and the close-in heart-felt emotions that envelop people during such an emotionally high-strung time. And I am re-reading parts of the book that I feel deserve to be looked at again. But I didn’t enjoy reading most of it, and I’m not quite sure why. Perhaps it just wasn’t written to be enjoyed. I understand that very well. And I hope I can use what I’ve learned from the lady to be better than I have been. Thank you, Mrs. Clinton, for the chance to visit with you and get to know you a little better. And thank you for all the girls and women who can stand back and declare with certainty, “I can do that. Just watch me.” That includes our little Cecelia and Bella.

T.G.I.F so it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the perfectly perplexing stuff that’s giving you fits out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. The easiest sound for an ear to hear is “Ah.” That’s the sound I usually make when my Lady Wonder Wench scratches my back. Ahhh. If the answer is, “By the number of bugs in his teeth” what is the question? Don’t know do you. I’ll tell you in a minute. Only 30% of you can flare your nostrils. If 50% of the people listening are women, the other 50% are giving it a try…aren’t you guys? The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that the ability to taste sweets deteriorates with age. The availability of sweets probably also has something to do with that. As in, “Hello my sweet. Are you available tonight?” On average people who have asthma can hear better than the rest of us. I think that depends on how you say the word…is it asthma or ahhssma. I told you, ah is the easiest sound for an ear to hear. Why aren’t you listening to me? Farmers tell us that cows get hair balls. But they claim that doesn’t turn them into bulls. If the answer is “By the number of bugs in his teeth” the question is how can you tell the guy riding a motorcycle is very happy? By the number of bugs in his teeth. One quick motorcycle story…and it’s true. I saw a guy riding a motorcycle a while ago and he had on a shirt that said on the back…”If you can read this sign, my girlfriend fell off.” Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little house keeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, or any of the spoken word story CDs , please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much.

Today’s podcast is about knowing you’re not perfect, just excellent, and how that usually makes you more successful. Here’s why I say that. If you’re trying to be perfect and you know you’re not…that bugs you…which makes it difficult to enjoy the things you can do not perfectly but excellently. When you just want to be excellent, you know when you’re doing things very well and you love it. So you feel good about yourself. And that makes you stronger, and being stronger makes you not perfect, but more and more excellent. It’s a great big power circle. It’s like the title of my book… Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. When you’re happy, that helps keep you healthy, and when you’re healthy that helps your sexy-ness…which makes you even happier…etc. In a way, I guess we should pity people who think they have everything. Because if they really did have everything, they wouldn’t have anything to wish for. They wouldn’t have anything to dream about. Happy Dreams.

The funny thing about knowing you’re not perfect, just excellent, is in today’s podcast. See, that way of looking at it usually makes you more successful. Here’s why I say that. If you’re trying to be perfect and you know you’re not…that bugs you…which makes it difficult to enjoy the things you can do not perfectly but excellently. When you just want to be excellent, you know when you’re doing things very well and you love it. So you feel good about yourself. And that makes you stronger, and being stronger makes you not perfect, but more and more excellent. It’s a great big power circle. It’s like the title of my book… Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. When you’re happy, that helps keep you healthy, and when you’re healthy that helps your sexy-ness…which makes you even happier…etc. It works for sex, and it works at work.

We’re talking about exceptional beats perfect in today’s podcast. Joe Cocker was an exceptionally talented singer. When he recorded his huge hit, You Are So Beautiful To Me… his voice broke at the end. AND THEY LEFT IT IN. THEY DIDN’T EDIT OUT THE BREAK. It would have been a simple edit, but THEY LEFT THE IMPERFECTION IN. They didn’t want perfect. They wanted exceptional. They wanted human. And they sure got it. Nobody is perfect. And who wants to be a nobody? Nobody ever accused Louis Armstrong of having a perfect voice either. And I’ll bet you can think of lots of other folks who are delighted to be exceptional instead of perfect. Just think about all the folks you know who give you a grin. Just think about this lady, who is also exceptional.

A grin is what you get from people who know, that you know, that they’ve sinned…at least a little. Today’s podcast explains that grinning guys just want to be excellent instead of pretending to be perfect. Interestingly, exceptional people tend to be more successful than perfect people. Peggy Lee was one of the most beautiful women who ever became a hugely successful singer. She was exceptionally beautiful. But not perfectly beautiful. And that was on purpose. She purposely wore a little black stick on dot on her face, because she knew that made her look exceptionally beautiful but not perfectly beautiful. She was an exceptionally beautiful WOMAN. A real human being, not some impossible fantasy. Give a listen, then grab a grin and win.

A smile is for people who try to be perfect, and think you should try to be perfect too. A grin usually involves an admission of at least a small sin. That’s why people in charge will often say…”Wipe that grin off your face.” Your grin can drive people in charge nuts. That’s why I always tell you in the podcasts to to grab a grin and win. When I grin one of my eyebrows goes up. I don’t do it on purpose, it just happens. And it doesn’t always do it… but usually. That’s one of the nice things about being exceptional instead of perfect. Just because my eyebrow goes up, your eyebrow can do whatever it damn well pleases when you grin as far as I’m concerned. I’ll get the point either way.

I am sitting here in my exceptionally comfortable and manly black leather poppa chair in my living room. It now has a small streaky spot on the left arm rest where I spilled a little coffee a few mornings ago. So it is now exceptional as opposed to perfect. I tried to convince you in today’s podcast that  everybody who is listening to this podcast right now is also exceptional, but not perfect. And that’s good. Because nobody is perfect, and you are not a nobody. Every one of us has at least a small streak of imperfection going for us. It’s like the small sin that turns a smile into a grin.

Another tough week in the books. So it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally unimportant stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that could get you into lots of trouble out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. By the way you usually win when you grin. Lots of people will try to wipe the grin off your face. Grin some more. It’ll drive em nuts. The zoo guys claim lions can mate as often as 50 times a day. No word about what the lionesses have to say about that. I’ve got to admit that my lust lion isn’t quite that active. Most days. Statisticians tell us that the average American puts 3.2 ice cubes in his soda glass. Who puts point two ice cubes in a glass? Ever try breaking an ice cube into point two? If the answer is “Quicksilver” what is the question? I’ll tell you in a minute. The ancient Chinese used urine as a mouth wash. And we complained when our moms washed our mouths out with soap. By the time he died in 1910, the king of Siam had fathered 370 children. Talk about a guy with a Lust Lion. He probably died of exhaustion. If the answer is “Quicksilver” the question is “What does the Lone Ranger say to his horse when he’s in a hurry?” Quicksilver. Reminds me of my favorite Lone Ranger story…The Ranger and Tonto were at a bar, when the Ranger asked Tonto to go out and give Silver a bath. Tonto was thirsty so he did the job on the run so he could get back into the bar. While he was at it a guy came into the bar and asked the masked man if that big white horse was his. The Ranger said yes. So the guy said, I hate to tell you but you left your Injun running. I know. Politically insensitive. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my spoken word story CDs at dicksummer.com, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, would you please tell a couple of friends because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thank you very much.

Today’s podcast has a confession to make. I think almost every guy has an occasional problem with his Lust Lion. Sometimes the lion bites through the bars on the cage, and lunges out at someone who’s off limits…and that could create a really messy problem that has gotten guys fired from their TV network jobs. And sometimes almost every guy has the opposite problem with his Lust Lion. A limp Lust Lion can be caused by some physical problem of course, but it’s usually some kind of stress, guilt, or just being tired. But it scares hell out of us when that happens. If that happens to your guy ladies, don’t make things worse by taking it personally. This is also not usually the time for a lot of humor either… although it probably should be. The best move for a lady to make when her guy’s Lust Lion is limp is usually a contented smile, and some extra warm snuggling. Generally you can expect outstanding “Lovin'” results from that treatment in an hour or so.