Archive for October, 2016

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, October 21st, 2016

It’s T.G.I.F. so it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Historians tell us that President John Quincy Adams kept a pet alligator in the White House. It seems to me that really, the pet alligator let John Quincy Adams live in the White House. If the answer is “It is illegal to display any human abnormality or freak of nature except for scientific purposes in Michigan,” what is the question? The only letter sounds you can make without using your tongue are m, p, h, f, and v. And now half of you are trying it aren’t you. And the other half are women. Other historians tell us that Hitler’s mother seriously considered aborting little Adolph, but her doctor talked her out of it. Way to go doc. Oh yes, if the answer is “It is illegal to display any human abnormality or freak of nature except for scientific purposes in Michigan,” the question is, “Why has Lady Ga Ga never performed in Detroit.” Coincidence, I think not. Don’t hit me with your rhinestone purse. Dick’s Details, they take your mind off your mind.

something-more-comfortable

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, October 20th, 2016

Today’s podcast, and all the spoken word CDs at Dick Summer . com are there because I figure that although a voice can’t be a complete substitute for having a person around when you need one, but something is better than nothing…especially at night…when your hope sometimes slips off into the dark. I think  listening to a friendly voice is one way to feed your hope. Feed the hope, starve the cynicism. Enjoy some romance. In short…live.  Like this little bird holding NASA hostage.

bird-rocket

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, October 19th, 2016

Some smart guys in white lab coats just published a survey in which they claim lots of people these days like being alone. What they don’t explain is that “alone” and “lonely” aren’t the same thing. “Lonely” still has a touch of hope. Hope is hot. That means it sometimes burns. Which scares some people away. Hiding from hope makes you cynical and conceited. If there’s only you in your life, who else are you going to think about? That’s what today’s podcast is all about.

last-ff-in-bag

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, October 18th, 2016

There’s a Bedtime Story called, “Lonely Lurks” in today’s podcast. It’s about the threat of giving up hope. Happens to lots of people. That’s one of the reasons for doing my spoken word CDs. Hope gets slippery some nights. It has a tendency to sneak away in the dark. That’s why lonely lurks in the dark.

youre-not-ugly

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, October 17th, 2016

Today’s podcast is called “Hope Is Hot.” Because without hope, life gets pretty cold. There are a couple of emails in the podcast. One guy writes to say, “Like you I’m a little past Springtime in my life. My youth was stolen from me through the years. But I’ve just decided to get it back.” Wow. That’s definitely a Big Louie kind of decision. Do you hear the sound of hope in it?

strongest-sperm

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, October 16th, 2016

There’s no such thing as a hopeless romantic. Hope is…hopeful, but it isn’t sure. That’s why cynics aren’t romantic. They have no hope. They are absolutely sure about everything. And the things they’re sure about are negative. Even about hope they’re negative. No hope…no romance. What a shame. Today’s podcast is called “Hope Is Hot.birds-in-la-traffic

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, October 15th, 2016

Fantasies are sometimes just a matter of perspective. Like this picture, or in today’s podcast. They can leave you with a smile, or with a lot of anxiety. Big Louie says “When you grin you win.” Don’t mess with Big Louie, you know what I mean?

looks-deceiving-2

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, October 14th, 2016

T.G.I.F. That means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s raining on your parade out the other ear, and you can grab a quick grin. Historians tell us that President John Quincy Adams kept a pet alligator in the White House. It seems to me that really, the pet alligator let John Quincy Adams live in the White House. If the answer is “It is illegal to display any human abnormality or freak of nature except for scientific purposes in Michigan,” what is the question? The only letter sounds you can make without using your tongue are m, p, h, f, and v. And now half of you are trying it aren’t you. And the other half are women. Other historians tell us that Hitler’s mother seriously considered aborting little Adolph, but her doctor talked her out of it. Way to go doc. Oh yes, if the answer is “It is illegal to display any human abnormality or freak of nature except for scientific purposes in Michigan,” the question is, “Why has Lady Ga Ga never performed in Detroit.” Coincidence, I think not. Don’t hit me with your rhinestone purse. Dick’s Details, they take your mind off your mind.

bear-background

 

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, October 13th, 2016

I was wandering around in the middle of last night, and I decided to listen to a couple of the podcasts, because I wanted to hear if they worked the way I want them to. It’s not complicated really. I want them to give you a comfortable arm around the shoulder in the middle of the night, tell you a Bedtime Story, and remind you of how good it is to be a member of the Louie Louie Generation. Generally speaking, I think they do that. I especially like how today’s podcast ended with the words of Big Louie himself. He says, “Teach love, then just sit back and let it work.”

duckin-out-on-kids

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, October 12th, 2016

I mentioned yesterday that Lady Wonder Wench was a skier before I met her. In today’s podcast, there’s a true story about how she used to go skiing with a friend of hers by the name of Rose, and some guy named Bill. Evidently Rose never brought a guy with her, because she enjoyed trolling for ski instructors, and according to Ms. Wench Rose was usually quite successful, since she looked like some combination of Catherine Zeta Jones and Carmen Electra. Ms. Wench, who had not yet met me, and had therefore not fallen in true love/lust so she was in the early stages of some cheap bodily attraction to Bill. But Bill was either too testosterone challenged, or too stupid to notice, which did not do wonders for LWW’s ego. That led me to develop a satisfying fantasy about LWW and a ski lodge, in which I land a plane in the parking lot of the fancy ski lodge…the kind were the rooms cost about the same as access to the typical state Senator for a year, and the lobsters served at dinner are about the size of an SUV. The airplane’s engine gets the attention of everybody inside. Bill opens the door and a crowd gathers behind him. They watch as I step down from the cockpit, dressed in my white silk scarf, my goggles, my black leather jacket, my freshly pressed Dockers, and my up to the fanny soft brown leather riding boots. Remember, this is my fantasy, so I’m looking here borderline like Harrison Ford. I flip up my goggles, push the two ends of the white silk scarf into the pockets of my black leather jacket, and I stride across the lot. I walk right past Bill at the door. The crowd is silent. Then I spot Lady Wonder Wench sitting alone in a corner. I walk over to her slowly, right past Rose, who looks up adoringly…expectantly. I hold out my hand to Lady Wonder Wench who stands up gracefully and looks at me in amazement. (I’ve just ignored Rose, remember.) Rose’s lips are quivering, and a tear wells up in her eye. She half reaches out her hand toward me, but I ignore her, and I guide Lady Wonder Wench to the door, right past Bill, and out into the parking lot to the waiting airplane. I help Lady Wonder Wench up into the cockpit, buckle her seat belt, close and latch the door, and the engine starts with one turn of the prop. We power up, and roar straight up into the full moon. When we pass 5,200 feet (one mile) I engage the auto pilot. And I leave the rest of my fantasy to your imagination. Eat your heart out Bill. And keep your hands to yourself.

barb-dick