There is a silent sisterhood. They think up questions like the ones in today’s podcast, and they spread them around to other members. It’s all on the quiet. If a guy answers one of these questions improperly, he is doomed. Protect yourselves guys. Prepare. Listen to today’s podcast.
There are two giant questions every guy with a girlfriend is going to have to deal with They’re in today’s podcast. “Big Louie says, “Be careful guys. How you answer these questions could cost you.”
Little things mean a lot. That’s today’s podcast. Especially true on weekends, guys. During the week, big things kinda rule. Your job for example. Weekends…there’s time for personal stuff. Listen to the podcast for some ideas.
It’s T.G.I.F. which means it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for your to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s making nasty pictures in your life out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that office desks have 400 times more bacteria than toilet seats. So I guess the safest place to meet for a business lunch would be in the toilet. If the answer is “Exercise” what is the question? Don’t know do you. Of course not I haven’t told you yet, but I will in a minute. When a skunk is threatened he sprays a foul smelling fluid out his rear end. My kids did that too when they were little. The results of tap water contamination tests are made public, but the manufacturers of bottled water don’t release the results of their tests. I think that’s because they want to keep their trade secrets. See every brand of bottled water has its own proprietary blend of pathogens, contaminants and waste that give the product it’s uniquely refreshing taste. If the answer is “Exercise” the question is “What rhymes with extra fries?” Extra fries grease up the wheels of your life and make them run a little more smoothly. Dick’s Details, they take your mind off your mind. A little house keeping here, if you like these podcasts, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, available at Amazon dot com, or my spoken word CDs at dick summer dot com, please tell a couple of friends, because they might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thanks.
As I was telling you in today’s podcast, I think men and women are like leopards. Same animals, but different spots. Pretty Kitty Kallen all those years ago sang, “Give me your arm as we cross the street, call me at six on the dot.” Spots and dots. Little things. If you ever did a connect the dots drawing when you were a kid, you know how important each dot can be. I missed a very small dot the other night, and it made a picture that caused my Lady Wonder Wench to cry. And that’s a really big deal to me.
Little things do mean a lot. I screwed up on a little thing that meant so much to my Lady Wonder Wench that she started crying at dinner the other night. That’s a big deal to me. It means a lot. It was a little thing that didn’t mean anything to me but it meant a lot to her. Little things do mean a lot. In today’s podcast I was thinking that atoms are so little that you need a machine the size of an NFL Linebacker to check them out. And those little tiny atoms have even littler things inside… newtrons, photons, electrons, and God knows what else, morons maybe. We’re all made of atoms, with all those even littler mysterious things inside. I think the little mysterious things inside guys are different from the little mysterious things inside women. I think men and women are like leopards. Same animals, but different spots.
As it says in today’s podcast, little things mean a lot. Atoms are very little, but you better be careful of getting too chummy with your nearby atoms. Remember what happens if you drop an atom. You get a mushroom shaped cloud. Atoms are so small that a lump of sugar contains as many atoms as there are stars in the universe. Not just the milky way, the whole universe…one lump of sugar. Atoms are wild little things. And little things mean a lot. That’s the title of a fine old song from the 1950s. Kitty Kallen sang it. They called her Pretty Kitty. She got up close and personal with the mic, and she sang. “Blow me a kiss from across the room, say I look nice when I’m not. Touch my hair as you pass my chair, little things mean a lot.” Sounds like the advice Big Louie gives to the guys in his Louie Louie Generation. It’s in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. He says, “Little things do mean a lot.”
As usual I did today’s podcast sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the middle of the night. The middle of the night is a time for strange thoughts. I think it was in the middle of the night that Louie Pasteur said “Ok everybody…boil the milk. When everybody woke up they said, “Boiled milk…Louieeee?” I don’t remember who discovered atoms or if it was in the middle of the night. But Big Louie says “You can’t trust atoms, because they make up everything.” How about this for weird. Everything you see is made up of atoms, but atoms are way too small to see. Catherine Zeta Jones is a bunch of atoms. I can’t see her atoms, but I am delighted to be able to see her. I don’t understand that, but I do appreciate her.
If 9-11-01 had been a stormy weather day, the bad guys could not have flown those planes into our buildings. I’ll be talking with Elizabeth Joyce, an honest to God psychic about it tonight. Live call ins at 888-429-5471. Would love to talk with you. Here’s the story:
On this day fifteen years ago, thousands of people in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania went to work. Hundreds of people were packing their suitcases for a plane ride the next day. Today’s podcast is called “How Quickly Our Lives Slip Away.”
