Archive for June, 2016

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, June 10th, 2016

It’s T.G.I.F. which means it’s time for Dick’s Details, the most popular feature in today’s podcast. Dick’s Details is a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff into one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s giving you wrinkles out the other ear, and you can grab a grin and win. The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that if we go to bed a little hungry, we could live up to seven years longer. Seven long, long, hungry years. Wonderful. If the answer is “Because they’re easier to find in the dark” what is the question. A recent poll run by a female oriented cable network claims that 13% of American secretaries are afraid that sex can be harmful to their lives. Those secretaries will not be invited to office parties. Horticulture Magazine claims that 40 tons of fertilizer are spread on Capitol Hill every year. It’s not clear if it’s spread by grounds keepers or members of Congress. If the answer is “Because they’re easier to find in the dark” the question is, “Why do blondes have more fun.” Come on. Lighten up. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little house keeping here. If you like these podcasts, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, or my spoken word CDs at www.dicksummer.com, please tell a couple of friends. They might like them too, and you’d be doing me a favor. Thanks.

be different

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, June 9th, 2016

There are ways to make you feel good even though you might have noticed yourself making “ooofff sounds when you stood up this morning…and your feet hurt, and you could feel that bug carrying that dreaded “instant old virus” flying around trying to find a place to bite. It’s hard to squash that deadly bug, but there are a couple of ways to brush him away. They’re in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, and in today’s podcast. #1 Think about it. You really can never can tell when something wonderful is going to happen. And #2 If you’ve got some moving parts left, for crying out loud, move ‘em.

day at beach

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, June 8th, 2016

My book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, and today’s podcast is about people like me who have been around for a while. Our feet hurt, and we’ve been saying oooff when we stand up. The bug carrying the dreaded “instant old virus” is buzzing around, trying to bite. I call us the Louie Louie Generation. Because almost all of us Louie Louie Lads and Ladies remember that song Louie Louie very well. Most people thought it was dirty, which of course made it very popular. Every Louie Louie Generation guy had a copy of what we were convinced were the official lyrics stuffed into our wallets, along with a few bucks, and a rubber thing that made a circle on the leather so you couldn’t let your mother see your wallet. It was an easy song to dance to at a record hop, and it gave us the chance to sing those lusty lyrics just loud enough so our dance partner could hear them. Some of the girls were shocked… shocked I tell you. But lots of the more popular girls just smiled and sang along. Some of you are smiling right now…because you do remember… and it feels good to remember…and to smile. It’s true that bad stuff happens. But it’s also true that you never know when something wonderful is going to happen.

sun-brella

Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, June 7th, 2016

I caught myself saying, “oooff” when I got out of bed this morning. And my feet hurt when they hit the floor. That’s when I knew I’d have to remember my own advice in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. It’s sometimes an effort to remember that we are the brand new “Louie-Louie Generation.” It’s sadly true that we may not look like the people in the beer commercials anymore with their fancy abs and perky breasts, but we have lots of surprises in store for folks who think we’re just left over chunks of luke warm meat. We know that he who dies with the most toys, wins. But our attitude is why envy that guy? He doesn’t get to play with his toys. He’s dead. So instead of getting grumpy and old, we’re grateful that we have our own nice toys to play with. That’s called the Louie Louie Generation gratitude attitude. Here’s how it works: Happiness helps us stay healthy. And happy healthy people are hot. And hot is sexy. And sexy makes us happy. It works. Most of the time.” But as I mentioned in today’s podcast, this morning…for me…not so much. I wrote the book to remind folks like myself who have started making “oooff” sounds when we stand up that there are ways to brush away the bug carrying that dreaded “instant old virus” that’s trying to bite even on a morning when we hear ourselves saying “oofff” and our feet hurt.

spider lady

Dick Summer Connection

Monday, June 6th, 2016

Monday is a lousy way to spend 1/7th of you life. Gotta remember one of the ideas in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. “You can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen.” Think about that one. So many people are afraid that you can never tell when something terrible is going to happen…and that’s a fact. But it’s also true that you can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen. On the other hand…pay attention when you’re driving.

log

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, June 5th, 2016

Bad morning this morning. As I was telling you in today’s podcast I caught myself saying, “oooff” when I stood up this morning. And my feet hurt. And it felt like a bug carrying the dreaded “instant old virus” was buzzing around me, looking for a place to bite. So as I was drinking some coffee out of my cup that says ”Dad” in big brown letters, I realized it was such a nasty morning, that if I didn’t want to let it spoil my whole day, I’d better take a minute and think about a couple of ideas from my own book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. Idea #1- As long as you have some moving parts left, for cryin’ out loud, move ‘em. And idea #2 – You can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen. Think about that one. So many people are afraid that you can never tell when something terrible is going to happen…but it’s also true that you can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen. Haven’t you found that to be true?

swing and gator

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, June 4th, 2016

My Lady Wonder Wench says “It takes 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg, because none of them will ask directions.” And she usually says that when I’m driving and ignoring that stupid GPS. As I mentioned in today’s podcast, I guess that’s part of being a man. And it’s ok with me. I’m comfortable with being a man. Guy’s brains are different from women’s brains. Good. My brain has always told me that IT’s the most important organ in my body. When I hit puberty, all of a sudden a very loud voice from very far away hollerd, “Oh yeah? That’s your brain that’s telling you it’s the most important organ in your body. Are you buying that? Hello. Look down here.” And I did. And let me tell you meeting my Lady Wonder Wench cleared up any remaining confusion about which organ was #1. I did some Wheaties commercials with Bruce Jenner a long time ago. He was a nice guy. Now he’s a nice girl. Not my problem. Also not my problem that some people have a problem with changes like that. It’s their problem not mine. Bruce had a problem with being a man. I don’t have that problem. I like being a man. I especially like that fact that so far, most women like most men better than robots. So far.

robo sex

 

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, June 3rd, 2016

It’s T.G.I.F, so it’s time for the most popular part of today’s podcast, Dick’s Details – a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear, so you can squeeze the important stuff in your life that’s scaring you spitless out the other ear, and you can calm down and grab a grin. The Finnish language has no future tense. That shouldn’t be surprising. Finish is Finish. There’s no future when you’re finished. If the answer is “Very scarce” what is the question? The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that, “Humans are the only mammals that can’t breathe and swallow at the same time.” Stop trying it guys. You’ll hurt yourself. Those same smart guys tell us that some species of cockroaches can reproduce without mating. That’s one more reason I’m glad I’m not a cockroach. Ok – If the answer is “Very scarce” the question is “What would men be without women.” Very scarce. I’ll leave a pregnant pause here for you to think about it. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind. A little housekeeping here – if you like today’s podcast, or my spoken word cds at www.dicksummer.com, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, available at www.Amazon.com com, please tell a couple of friends. They might like them too, and you’d be doing me a real favor. Thanks.

cold heart

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, June 2nd, 2016

I like being a man. To me, being comfortable with my manly attitude is part of being a man.In  I told you about why I think men are saints. Some of you disagree. In my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot I also told you a story about the time a female brain cell found herself in a man’s head. She looked around and didn’t see anything there. So she shouted, “Hello…is there anybody here?” And a faint voce answered from far away…”Hello, we’re all down here.” I don’t know for sure, but I think sometimes a women hears her own faint voice like that hollering “Hello, we’re all down here too.” And in today’s podcast I mentioned that I hope those faint voices get together to sing in perfect harmony at the first possible opportunity.

if only

Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, June 1st, 2016

A famous “Relationship Coach” says “Men and women should put our differences behind us.” Impossible is what I said in today’s podcast. Our back sides are behind us. Our differences are right out in front…where they belong. When I first met my Lady Wonder Wench her differences were right out there in front of her. Big time. She had the most dangerous lady differences ever known to mankind. She was wearing a very nicely curved soft blue sweater, and a very nicely curved pleated plaid skirt. And she was wearing them very well. She had the most dangerous differences I had ever seen. Some people get angry at me when I say things like that. They say “that’s sexist.” I say “Yes it is. And if God didn’t want us to be sexists, why did He give us sex?” Other people say I should value her personality more than her curves. I say, “You value what you want to value, and I’ll value what I want to value. My feeling is why not value both?” Her personality and her differences I mean. So I do.

shut up & kiss