Archive for January, 2016

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, January 31st, 2016

Has it ever occurred to you that the smartest guys think in opposites. Check out today’s podcast. For example take the guy who packaged the batteries I just bought on line. They’re totally encased in plastic so thick that I had to cut if with a pair of wire cutters. It was essentially a plastic battery chastity belt. But when I dug the batteries out and put them in the flashlight, they didn’t work. I wanted to send them back, but the invoice from the guy who sold them says, “All returns must be in original packaging.” Smart guy. He thinks in opposites. Thinking in opposites changed my mind about the guy at the drug store who sold me a bottle of cotton with a few Tylenol pills in the bottom. Instead of getting torqued about the big bottle and the tiny bunch of pills I started thinking…maybe I could make a nice warm winter coat out of that big ball of cotton, then I wouldn’t catch cold, and I wouldn’t have to buy any more Tylenol. I’ve got to learn to think in opposites all the time. For example, will everything east of the San Andreas fault eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean?

genie irrisistable visa

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, January 30th, 2016

Today’s podcast proves WE ARE NOT DOOMED, no matter what the “Smart Guys On TV” tell us. We don’t have to run and hide. And think about so many good things that are going on in most of our lives. Warm water splashing down on your head in a shower…a good giggle from an inside joke some friend tells you…someone reminding you you’re a winner when you’re having a tough time…waking up, looking at the alarm clock, and realizing you have another hour to sleep…getting a hug…giving one back…watching a video of the late great Whitney Houston singing “I Will Always Love You” on UTube… taking a kid to a zoo and making faces at the monkeys…a hammock under some trees in the Summer…and going for a swim at a Summer beach…maybe building a bonfire there after dark…and sharing it with someone you care about…a pretty lady wearing sheer satin sleeves in the candlelight. Good stuff. We are not doomed folks. We don’t have to run and hide. Don’t be scared to let the little kid in you out to play today…every day…tell him we’re winners…take him to the zoo and make faces at the monkeys. We’re going to be just fine.

turtle divorce

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, January 29th, 2016

This is a story from a proud podcast person by the name of Bob. It’s REALLY worth reading:

Hello my friend, Things have calmed down a bit and I wanted to say Happy New Year to you and yours, and in the words of John Lennon, let’s hope it’s a good one, without any fear.I wanted to tell a story that happened to me recently and affirmed my faith in humanity at whatever social strata they occupy.
I work in the city, which in Massachusetts means Boston. New Yorkers tend to say CITY, which always means Manhattan but I am proud and comforted by using lower case letters for Boston. I have spent time in Manhattan and feel like I am Jonah in the whale at times. Boston is more like swimming with the dolphins. Anyhow, my walk every morning is from the Park Street Station down Tremont Street to my office building on the corner of Tremont and Beacon. (I could say I go the the Boston Sports Club at One Beacon every morning to impress you with my workout ethic but truthfully I get there maybe 3 times a week and try not to look too silly as I glide on on elliptical machine listening to jazz or classic rock.) And lest you think I am some high falutin’ banker or lawyer… I work at Suffolk University, IT Guru by day and Professor by night.
Every morning for the past 10 months or so, as I walk by the Granary Burial Grounds, I see a man who appears to be homeless. He has an empty coffee cup discretely at his feet but does not solicit for money. Instead, he smiles at everyone who passes him and wishes them a good morning. I do make eye contact with him and smile. Most people go into “homeless person mode” and look away or right through him. After 40 something years of walking the city I understand that. (I once had a guy ask me for my spare change and I reached into my pocket and gave him the contents. There was 78 cent which included three pennies, which are enough for an opera but this guy tossed them back at me exclaiming that he did not take pennies. I was at first taken aback, and then wanted to get his definition of “spare change”, but realized that I should just chalk it up to experience and move on.)
Anyhow, I was telling you my story of this kind, gentle man who starts the day of hundreds of people with a smile and a wish for a good day. Many days that was the high point for met! I wanted to support him somehow, but his cup was on the ground and I know that I would probably fall over if I tried to bend that low. But I always appreciated the smile and the nod that I got from him each morning. So I hatched a plan. I am a musician that plays and gets paid. That is another story but I have been doing that since I was 13. The band recently played at a club in Cambridge. I always consider the money I make for playing music a gift, or at the very least pay for moving the many heavy pieces of stuff that are necessary for the sound. The music is my therapy, and I am lucky enough to have reached a stage in my life where I really don’t need the money so I just spend it on whimsical things or more musical equipment. I thought I would take my night’s pay and give it to this man for Christmas. I tucked it inside my wallet and looked for him the following Monday morning. He was not there. Each morning I looked for him and… not there. I had seen this phenomenon before. Street people come and go. And I thought he had gone, I was disappointed that I had not seen him. I thought all we ever exchanged were smiles and pleasantries and I wanted to give him this gift and chat him up a bit. I thought I had blown it. Until last Monday night. I was walking to the T and I saw him. He was back. I stopped about 20 feet away to discretely get my wallet out, (which is usually a no-no on a busy downtown street), and fished out he bills that I had set aside. I walked up to him and smiled and said hello. I got the most beautiful smile in return, I told him how a appreciate seeing him every morning and how he got my day off to a good start. We spoke for a while and I found out that his name was George but “not Curious George, curiosity has gotten me into lots of trouble”. He also told me that he had a rough life and was addicted to crack and that about ten years ago he had a talk with himself and decided to “stop being an asshole and to start living right” It was a lengthy conversation. The man is a born storyteller. I thanked him for being such a gracious man and having such a powerful spirit,
I have had several chats with him since. I stop in the morning if he is at his spot and spend 5 minutes with George, (and 5 minutes less at that cursed gym!). About a week after our first meeting we met and he was beaming. He showed me his new coat, pants and shoes that he bought to stay warm. He said something to the effect that this was far better than crack and would keep him warm over the winter while out on the streets. That made me very happy.
So I have a new friend who is street smart, intelligent, kind, compassionate and funny. People who pass George on the street and ignore him are missing out.
One of the things I have learned as a Louie, is that every person you come in contact has a story or two. All you have to do is listen.
Thanks for your stories and I hope the year ahead is good to you and yours.

Dick Summer Connection

Friday, January 29th, 2016

TGIF so it’s time for Dick’s Details from today’s Podcast: American Airlines has announced that it saved $40,000 by eliminating one olive from first class salads last year. That must have been one huge olive. If the answer is “At a book store filed under fiction,” what is the question? There are more than 635 trillion possible hands in a game of bridge. My Lady Wonder Wench claims she used to date a guy who had more hands than that. 3 Mile Island is only 2 ½ miles long. Sure now…but what was it before that nuke plant blew up. Approximately 50,000 courier pigeons fought in WW 2. I guess they flew around till they spotted a newly waxed enemy tank, and then it was bombs away. Oh yeah…if the answer is “At a book store filed under fiction,” the question is “Where can an ordinary guy find a Catherine Zeta Jones look alike who’s crazy to have sex with him?” Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

don't die

Dick Summer Connection

Thursday, January 28th, 2016

The “smart guys” on TV are telling us, “The American Dream is doomed.” I don’t believe them. They’re trying to scare us so they can get us to do what they want us to do. As Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation says in today’s podcast…”Hey smart guys…B.S.” I believe the American Dream is a little different for each and every one of us. And for those of us who aren’t afraid of the “smart guys” on TV…those of us who like to dream…it’s very much alive and doing pretty well. And by the way, when did the word “Dreamer” become an accusation…some kind of snide remark? As I mentioned in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, “Honesty = the truth + maybe. And remember, it’s the “Maybe” that feeds our dreams. Dreamers have an interesting history. Not that long ago people were saying, “Boiled milk? Louie Pasteur you’ve got to be kidding.” How about, “Of course the earth is flat. Just open your eyes and look.” And while we’re at it, notice how the sun spins around the earth…and land a man on the moon?…only in some silly story. “Honesty = the truth + maybe. And it’s the “Maybe” that keeps our dreams alive. Our personal dreams…and the American Dream we’re all lucky enough to share… those of us who aren’t afraid of the “smart guys” on TV.


Dick Summer Connection

Wednesday, January 27th, 2016

The “Smart Guys” are telling us “We are doomed.” That comment is usually followed by, “Send me money so I can save you,” or “Vote for me so I can save you.” They may be doomed, but I am not doomed and unless you believe them you are not doomed either. I look forward to not being doomed for quite a while. I believe I’ll be completely alive on the day I die. Lots of other things I believe are in today’s podcast…things like I believe in magic, and Santa Claus…after all Santa Claus is magic. Without his magic, Christmas Eve would be just another cold, dark Winter night. I believe that men and women are different because we’re supposed to be different. That’s why the people who make a living acting who happen to be women are actresses, not actors. There’s nothing wrong with being an actress. There’s also nothing wrong with being a girl. I believe that if it’s ok for me to call the middle aged guys I hang out with at the airport “The boys,” it’s ok for me to call the grown up women my Lady Wonder Wench hangs out with at the needlepoint shop “The girls.” I believe in wooden baseball bats, because I love the way your hands feel and the sound they make when you hit a fastball right on the sweet spot. I believe farts are funny. I believe…in lots of stuff that has nothing to do with being doomed. If you do too, please forget what the “Smart Guys” are telling you, and take a listen to today’s podcast instead.

dr. fart


Dick Summer Connection

Tuesday, January 26th, 2016

My Lady Wonder Wench just wrote this:

We are going to Spring Training again this year but it doesn’t start until March. So we have baseball movies of every sort and we watch them until . . . Every movie makes me smile, of course, but there is one baseball game which has no movie that I know of and still, when I think of it, my heart plays such a lovely tune for me. It’s the first New York Metropolitans’ (aka NY Mets) game played in New York after 9/11. We watched it, of course, on television (we don’t live close enough anymore) and every play, every ball thrown and caught and hit was so special. But the homerun that Mike Piazza hit – every homer that man hit had a special sound – THAT ball made a sound that had to have been heard around the world. It was solid and loud and strong and GOING somewhere. It was a nose-thumbing, laugh-out-loud, get outta my way, here I come, bragging-rights punch in the eye for everyone who might have thought New Yorkers especially and Americans everywhere were down and out for the count.

I have never been able to thank Mr. Piazza for the great lift of pride he gave me and everyone else who heard that homerun. So – Thank you, Mike, for hitting that homerun, even if it still makes me cry.

Special request – If any of you know how to get this to Mike Piazza, would you please let me know at Thanks.


Dick Summer Connection

Monday, January 25th, 2016

Now that the big snow job is over, the TV Smart Guys will be back talking about which politician will get the most carcasses at the caucuses. Almost all the messages are based on the same idea: “Unless you vote for me, we are doomed. Doomed I tell you. Also…send money.” In my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, and in today’s podcast, Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation says…”B.S.” And I agree. I am not doomed, and do not plan on being doomed for quite some time. I plan on being alive on the day I die. How about you?

life is short

Dick Summer Connection

Sunday, January 24th, 2016

Today’s podcast is all about calming down. All the smart guys are telling us, “We are doomed. Run and hide.” Stephen Hawking the famous scientist says, “We are doomed because the artificial intelligence we are creating will take over and kill us, or we will be wiped out by a giant asteroid.” Lots of politicians are telling us “We are doomed because the terrorists are coming to get us.” Other politicians are telling us “Our coastal cities are doomed because of climate change.”It seems like most TV shows are about murder and blood, and the commercials in them tell us we are doomed if we don’t take their pills with names I can’t pronounce. Lots of holy people tell us we are doomed because we have been mighty naughty. But I say, “Fear not faithful friends. As Big Louie, the head guy of the Louie Louie Generation says in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot and I quote: “Hey Smart Guys…B.S.” And I agree.

doing the wave

Dick Summer Connection

Saturday, January 23rd, 2016

Pushing 2 feet of snow and it’s still coming. Snow blower crapped out. Thinking quickly, I pulled out a copy of my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, and waved it out the window. And look what happened!

House Spring