Archive for November, 2015

Dickie-Quickie

Friday, November 20th, 2015

Congratulations. We’ve made it to another weekend. Fridays are when guys plan an evening of erotic splendor. Some guys have become artists at it. Fridays are also “Dick’s Details” days from today’s podcast. caveman heffner

Dickie-Quickie

Thursday, November 19th, 2015

Today’s podcast is vicious…Vicious…VICIOUS…VICIOUS!

hard working wife

Dickie-Quickie

Wednesday, November 18th, 2015

Tough stuff going on all over. Today’s podcast is a remember that one of the most important points in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot is called the Gratitude Attitude. It means it makes sense to remember to be grateful for what you’ve got. Feeling old? Be grateful for the years…lots of folks don’t get as many as you’ve had. Your love life stinks? Lots of other people have the same problem. If you go out and really look, you have a good chance of  finding someone who’s also out there looking, and maybe the lessons from your bad experiences will help you do better this time. It’s worth a shot. Stuff happens. Good stuff and bad stuff. It’s about even. As it says in the book, you can either spend your life doing the duck and cover because bad stuff could happen, or you can spend your life looking forward to something really wonderful coming your way. Your choice.

blonde license

Dickie-Quickie

Tuesday, November 17th, 2015

It is a vicious life in today’s Podcast. And a lot of it is our own fault. We tear down all the trees to make suburbs, and we name the streets after the trees. There are free abortions in China, but there is a two year wait. And I think it is a bigger crime to open a bank than it is to rob one. No matter how high up your leg life bites you, remember what Big Louie says in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot: “You can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen.”

foot on scale

Dickie-Quickie

Monday, November 16th, 2015

If you are a Louie Louie Generation lad or lady, you  have experienced how vicious sexy things can get. In today’s podcasts, you’ll hear about the terrible things some of us have had said to us in moments of passion. Things like “I thought YOU had the key to the handcuffs.” “On second thought, let’s turn out the light.” “ Did I remember to take my pill?” “My that’s quite a rash.” “Don’t worry, my dog is really friendly for a Doberman.” My buddy Al’s sense of self worth was seriously scarred when one of his early bed-mates actually said, “You know, the ceiling really needs painting.” Vicious. It’s a vicious, dog eat dog world, and we’re all wearing hamburger shorts. And it’s worse for women than it is for men.

boob droop

Dickie-Quickie

Sunday, November 15th, 2015
I’m sitting here in my big, comfortable, manly, black leather poppa chair in my living room, and I like having your company. I mean I like having your company in the personal sense, I’m not into taking over companies…corporate takeovers…because I don’t like vicious things. It’s in today’s podcast.Flying squirrel
I don’t like big vicious things like bad guys doing awful things in the middle east, trying to stretch a pay check that isn’t big enough to cover everything, and maybe the bad medical test results lots of people have to deal with. I don’t like little vicious things either…like Mondays…What a vicious way to spend 1/7th of your life, trying to cut a bagel in half without cutting your hand, figuring out who’s supposed to go first at a 4 way stop sign…it’s usually the guy with the most dents in his fenders…and don’t you hate the damn mosquito that sneaks into your bedroom and buzzes your ear all night…why didn’t Noah swat those two original mosquitoes when he had the chance.
And speaking of small vicious things, there’s always contacting the “system administrator” for permission to do something on my home computer. My computer knows that I have no idea who my system administrator is. And it’s bad enough when my home computer makes fun of me like that…the computer in my airplane did it to me last week. All of a sudden the airplane computer blew out the GPS map WHILE I WAS using it to FLY HOME. It put up a screen that said, “Do not turn off your computer. We are updating your data base…” Then the map went blank. Vicious. I was not only going to turn it off, I was going to toss it out the window, and I was at about 7000 feet…trying to fly home but it didn’t care. It was going to up-date itself even if that meant I was going to fly around in circles.

Dickie-Quickie

Saturday, November 14th, 2015

So…what are you going to do for entertainment this weekend. My buddy Pete is planning a visit to Budweiser Falls.

beer fall

For even more fun, check out today’s podcast. 

Dickie-Quickie

Friday, November 13th, 2015

Funny, it’s Friday. Time for the Dick’s Details material from today’s podcast: Dick’s Details, a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s spoiling you fun out the other ear, and you can grab a grin.

I saw two ads on line yesterday that really got my attention… because although I sometimes can act grown up, I have resisted the impulse to mature. The ad for a hospital said, “Let us help you choose a doctor to take care of your pregnancy.” The next ad was for an on line dating service.  I was thinking that they’d help you choose a doctor to take care of your pregnancy  by being sure he has nice hair, a great car, and he’s a good dancer. If the answer is Whom, what is the question. Statisticians tell us that 82% of people can curl their tongues into a tube. And experience tells me that 100% of you guys are trying it right now. And…33% of Taiwanese funerals include a stripper. See, fun fights fear. Oh yeah, if the answer is Whom, the question is what does an over educated owl always say. Dick’s Details. They take your mind off  your mind.  

If you like the podcasts, or the blog, or the spoken word CDs at www.dicksummer.com, or my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, please tell a couple of friends.They might like them too, and you’ll be doing me a favor. Thanks again.

www.dicksummer.compodcast (2)

 

Dickie-Quickie

Thursday, November 12th, 2015

Fun fights fear, fat and failure. Proof is in today’s podcast. self aware cat

Dickie-Quickie

Wednesday, November 11th, 2015

Life’s a game. And today’s podcast proves that if you grab a grin you’re gonna win.baloon fanny