Dick Summer Connection

As I keep telling you in the podcasts, my Lady Wonder Wench is not a blonde. And I think she is the only person who looks good early in the morning. That’s why the good Lord made it so hard for us to get our eyes open early in the morning. When we first get up, our hair looks like we stuck a wet toe in a hot socket…our faces are a little off center from sleeping on a lumpy pillow and like most guys I have stubble sticking out of my chin. I think if we actually saw each other clearly early in the morning, the price of brown paper bags of exactly your head size and the head size of your nearest and dearest would soar beyond the means of most middle class families. 

I really like having you with me on the podcasts. Today’s is about last night…and tomorrow night…and…nights.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s appropriate that the other meaning of the word that is pronounced mourning is what you do at a funeral. I don’t like mornings. I’m a night guy. I always record my podcasts while I’m sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room…at night. I don’t like anything about mornings. I used to love doing night time radio. But for various reasons, mostly having to do with making a living I also did early morning radio. Hideous. When I was at NBC Radio in New York, I used to take the Long Island Rail Road to work. Every morning I rode in an over crowed coach looking at what seemed like millions of other guys, who were like me, all desperately hoping the coffee would kick in soon. It was a look of loathing, and I’m sure the feeling was mutual.

There’s a story in today’s podcast about something sexy that happened at night, on a beach, on one of the last soft Summer nights of a year…a while ago. It’s called “The Headhunter’s Woman.”

Today’s podcast is about working. Appropriate for Labor Day I guess. I don’t like mornings. I’m a night guy. I always record my podcasts while I’m sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room…at night. I don’t like anything about mornings. I used to love doing night time radio. But for various reasons, mostly having to do with making a living I also did early morning radio. Hideous. When I was at NBC Radio in New York, I used to take the Long Island Rail Road to work. Every morning I rode in an over crowed coach looking at what seemed like millions of other guys, who were like me, all desperately hoping the coffee would kick in soon. It was a look of loathing, and I’m sure the feeling was mutual. 

The winner of the stupidest comment heard every holiday weekend…”Drive carefully.” I’ve been on the road today, and lots of people are driving carefully. Many of them are often even swerving back onto the highway. Here’s another useless comment.

For useful comments, like ” Men Are Saints,” Check out my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot.

Dick’s Details, a bunch of totally un-important stuff for you to stuff in one ear so you can squeeze the important stuff that’s making you nuts out the other ear, and you can can have something from today’s podcast to talk about with a sexy stranger on a Friday night. Historians tell us that pretzels have been around since 650 AD. I think I had one of the originals on an airline flight recently. If the answer is, “You’re in them” what is the question? The smart guys in the white lab coats tell us that if the strength of a 200 pound man was in proportion to the strength of an earth worm, the man would be able to move 6 tons…and boy I bet he’d be able to catch some big fish. In Chicago a woman driver can be ticketed if either her hair or her hat covers one eye. Maybe that’s why it seems like many women who drive in Chicago cover both eyes instead of just one in heavy traffic. If the answer is “You’re in them” the question is “What’s worse than finding a stack of porn pictures in your kid’s closet? Another example of the Ashley Madison syndrome.  Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

To me, Summer is the strong heartbeat of the year. It’s just a couple of days now before Labor Day, the “Unofficial end of summer” and the heartbeat is becoming irregular. That always hits me hard. My Lady Wonder Wench wrote this about it:

Seasonal changes are dependable.  Spring follows a long, interminable winter and summer waves madly at anyone who looks. But my very own frivolously mad Louie Louie Lad gets absolutely Australian when summer wanes (down under?). I think it’s because he is such a child of Big Louie, His Own Bad Self. How else to explain his intense dislike of Fall. Albert Camus wrote: ”Autumn is a second Spring when every leaf is a flower.” I spend a good deal of time trying to explain this simple but perfect description of Fall/Autumn to the Lad, but he just grumbles and stalks off to record another podcast. Maybe it’s because nobody notices his sword scar. Looks pretty cool to me.

Some teachers know that “Show” is always more important than “Tell.” Today’s podcast is about a teacher who knew that very well. My dad.

Some kids have more to live up to than others. That’s what today’s podcast is all about.