Dick Summer Connection

Guys…in today’s podcast you’ll find an answer that you will need many times in the tumult of your lives. It’s an all purpose answer to be used for almost any difficult question. It was given to me by Big Louie, the star of my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot. It’s not only an all purpose answer, it’s the only possible answer to the three great questions that all Louie Louie Generation guys will eventually face. Question #1 is “Does this outfit make me look fat?” Question #2 is, “If I died would you get married again?” And great question #3 is “Was I your first sexual partner?” Guys, you will be tempted to make up your own answers to these questions, but don’t. If you are asked any one of those questions, the only survivable answer is the one Big Louie has given us in today’s podcast.

This week’s podcast is about the difference between men and boys. You might get a kick out of some of the thoughts that lead to this conclusion:

A little while ago, I was just sitting there in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, trying to explain to my Lady Wonder Wench why I absolutely must get that new and kind of expensive piece of navigation equipment for our little Piper airplane. She did that wifely moment of silence when something expensive comes up in a conversation, then she looked up at me, bit the corner of her lip, looked down and said “The biggest difference between men and boys is the size of their toys.” But then she looked back up at me, and gave me one of those smiles that lights up the room… and she very quietly said, “Thank you for being my boyfriend…for all these years.” That’s what I mean by it pays to play.

This week’s podcast is about growing up…or not. “The biggest difference between men and boys is the size of their toys.” Pimple People guys seem to be having a big problem figuring out what it means to be a man these days. Most of them are even afraid to talk about it. It’s not complicated, guys. Don’t try to be a man. Just decide to be yourself. Go take a good long look in a mirror. I mean a couple of minutes worth. Who is that guy? What does he want from life. What’s he willing to do to get it? Once you figure that out…do it. Simple. Not easy but simple.

If you too are a formerly young person, a thought from the current podcast has probably also occurred to you: 

Remember when you were a kid? You had some simple, clear, big print rules. Tell the truth. Don’t hit people. Stand up straight. Clean up your own mess. Simple. And if you broke one of the rules, your teacher made you print it ten times in those big kindergarten letters in your notebook…so you’d remember it in the future. You brought your mom a handful of spring flowers on Mother’s Day, and you drew a picture that looked a little like a man, and you wrote under it “The world’s greatest dad” and gave it to him for Father’s Day. Doesn’t it seem like just last week? Times change. There’s much more small print than large print now. Things get a lot more complicated when you grow up.

That’s why we need to remember with pride, the Louie-Louie Generation.

As I said in my book Staying Happy Healthy And Hot, “Louie-Louie Generation guys know that it pays to play.” And I think it’s a good thing that the biggest difference between men and boys is the size of their toys. And sometimes that isn’t much of a difference. Many Louie-Louie Generation guys still choose their breakfast cereal for the toy in the box. We wear baseball caps, but we always keep them front facing front. As I also explained in the book, it’s the men with the most testosterone who seem so boy-like. Here’s what too many men and non men seem to forget. Testosterone is a preservative. What does a preservative do? It keeps nasty stuff from growing on our food. Growing is another word for maturing.  And men’s brains are swimming in a sea of testosterone…which naturally keeps them from growing and maturing. But women instinctively know that testosterone is also the chemical that makes us sexy. Women like sexy, and we know it. Guys, if we want to attract women, we are doomed to eternal kid-hood, and it’s not our fault. For more information, please go to www.dicksummer.com/podcast 

Today’s podcast is about boys and toys. I was sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, trying to explain to my Lady Wonder Wench why I absolutely must get a new and kind of expensive piece of navigation equipment for our little Piper airplane. She did that wifely moment of silence when something expensive comes up in a conversation, then she looked up at me, bit the corner of her lip, looked down and said “The biggest difference between men and boys is the size of their toys.” But then she looked back up at me, and gave me one of those smiles that lights up the room… and she very quietly said something that explains why she has stayed with me for so long, even though by now she certainly knows that no matter how nicely she kisses me, I’m never going to turn into a prince.

Memorial Day. I often make the mistake of waking up in the morning, putting our flag up on its post outside the house, and thinking how lucky we are to live in America. Then I take a closer look at the flag. And I realize again that it’s much more than luck. The flag was sent to me by a guy who’s probably reading this right now. He used to listen to me on the radio a long time ago, and he found the blogs and podcasts on the internet. I’ve never met him in person. But he’s one of the reasons it isn’t just luck that we live in this blessed place. He wrote with a felt pen on the white space where the flag attaches to the line that runs it up the pole. His message says, “This flag flew over Camp Adder. Iraq. 2006.” Come to think about it…and I should more often think about it…there’s a another flag folded into the wooden triangle on the wall of our living room. It’s in honor of my Lady’s late brother Bob. As soon as I finish typing this, I’m going to call my brother Jeff in Texas. He never talks about what he did to deserve a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart in Vietnam. It’s a lot more than luck, that we live in this safe, beautiful, powerful place. It’s a lot more than luck that we have such men…and women…to thank. And how can we best honor them? Parades are good. And speeches. And even small tributes like this. But there is a line in one of our American songs that I think needs more attention today…and much more respect than it has received lately. It goes like this: “…And crown thy good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.” In Memoriam.

Some problems to work out with the podcasts today. If you go to www.dicksummer.com/podcast and can’t hear the podcast, it’s available on the Stitcher, which is the button right above the podcasts. This will get fixed and things will be easier than ever soon. D

BIG DEAL – My son David The Podcast Master has re-done the technical stuff, and the podcasts now should open on all mobile and un-mobile forms.

Today’s podcast is about the other day when I was sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in the living room, trying to explain to my Lady Wonder Wench why I absolutely must get a new and kind of expensive piece of navigation equipment for our little Piper airplane. She did that wifely moment of silence when something expensive comes up in a conversation, then she looked up at me, bit the corner of her lip, looked down and said “The biggest difference between men and boys is the size of their toys.” But then she looked back up at me, and gave me one of those smiles that lights up the room… and she very quietly said something that explains why she has stayed with me for so long, even though by now she certainly knows that no matter how nicely she kisses me, I’m never going to turn into a prince.

Today’s podcast is about legit reports that the “Pimple People” now say “Sex is so passe.” Big Louie always says, “Whatever can happen, happens. So don’t ever forget that you never know when something wonderful is going to happen.” So, maybe it’s true that “Gender is so passé.” Maybe the Pimple People will swap meat sex for virtual sex. Or no sex. After all sex is messy when it’s well done.  And there’s lots of rejection in the dating game. And even Olympic athletes like Bruce Jenner are going trans-gender. And maybe trans-gender is just another step to no-gender like that magazine article said. Hey…everybody should shine his/her own light on his/her own life. Maybe in dog years, I’m dead, and some of the butter has slipped off my pancakes, and I probably am a good example of the fact that evolution can go backwards. But for me, you can keep your “Virtual Companion.” I’ll take my Lady Wonder Wench wearing just her two piece…her bedroom slippers…every time.