Archive for August, 2013


Saturday, August 31st, 2013

I’m sitting here in a rest area on the road to ruin. I had to get off, because the traffic is moving way too fast, and I want to take as much time as possible getting there.  Actually, I’m sitting here in my big, manly, comfortable, black leather poppa chair in my living room, trying to recover from all the end-of-the-human-race-as-we-know-it-news that’s all over the internet, Time magazine, the newspaper, and the TV. Pessimists have never been so happy. The best we seem to be able to these days is to dread one day at a time. The middle east, the budget crisis, health care and the New York Mets…again.

One of the potholes on the road to ruin happened yesterday. A politician actually got on TV and said, “We are overwhelmed with sex in movies, on television and in advertising. With the overpopulation that’s going on, do we really need Cialis? Wouldn’t it be better to have a pill that would take away our sex urge?” He probably thinks he’ll get the vote of every bored, neglected, and tired dreary drone wife who could slip a pill like that into her husband’s beer, and her teenager’s lunch sandwich.

Actually, I don’t think we need a pill like that. It’s already happening naturally. With all the tension from the road to ruin rushing that’s going on I’ve already noticed a real loss in my own sex urge. I noticed it a couple of times last night, and again just this morning and then a few minutes ago.

You might have seen that survey of college age Pimple People recently in which they said if they had to take a choice between sex and texting, they’d give up the sex. These are our future leaders…rushing us down the road to ruin. I was talking with one of them…the son of a friend of mine who was planning on having another spike put in his tongue in time for returning to college yesterday, and he actually said he thinks that the larger a woman’s breasts are, the less intelligent the woman is. He said it with a smirk. But Pimple People seem to say most things with a smirk. So as a Louie Louie Generation guy, I felt it necessary to explain to him that…no… it’s the other way around. The larger a woman’s breasts are the less intelligent guys become. If they would only get a copy of my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot  I wouldn’t have to explain these things over and over again.

I guess the Pimple People just haven’t been around long enough to know what’s really going on. This kid has no real sense of history. He didn’t even know who fought on which side during WW2. If he ever heard of the Trojan wars, he probably thought they had something to do with contraceptives. He actually said that when his fraternity throws a party, if you want to be one of the guys, you have to down at least 10 beers. How the hell do you do that and remember ever even having a party ? I guess when these future leaders say they’re planning for the future, they mean they’re buying two cases of beer instead of one. I think those guys could use their personalities as a highly effective method of birth control.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-   What goes cluck cluck thump. Cluck cluck thump ?

2-   What connection does a walrus have to the National Football League.

3- When is it a good time to leave the room when the smart guys in the white lab coats start experimenting ?

4- How long would it take your muscles to respond to Catherine Zeta Jones ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

I’m going to sit here in the rest area of the Road to Ruin and calm down for a while. The thing that started all this is that according to the numbers, I really am on the road to ruin. And the exit ramp isn’t that far ahead. And I’d be lying to you if I said that doesn’t scare me. I sometimes wake up at 3AM and I see my Lady Wonder Wench looking all lovely in the moonlight, and I wonder how many more times I’ll get to do that. We had the newest member of the family here over the weekend. Our daughter Kris brought Cecelia over for a visit. Cecelia is 4 years old. But if you ask her, she tells you, “I’m almost five poppa.” Having someone who is almost five around the house feels like you have suddenly had a bowling alley installed in your head. But then she jumps up into your lap and gives you a big hug…and you realize you don’t ever want to stop being somebody’s poppa. Gratitude-Attitude. Just like in the book.

Sitting here in the rest area for a while gets you ready for the pot holes you know you’re going to hit, when you go back to rushing down the road to ruin.  As Big Louie says in the book: “You can never tell when something wonderful is going to happen.”

There’s an other very old and very famous book called Peter Pan. And I think one of the great and selfless heroines of history is in that book. Her name is Tinker Belle. Tink is in love with Peter, but it can’t happen for two reasons. Number one is that Tinker Belle is a fairy, and Peter is a boy who’s in love with a human girl named Wendy. Number two is that Peter refuses to grow up. Number two is a pretty familiar story to many of you Louie Louie ladies.

But Tinker Bell has something that Peter wants. It’s her fairy dust that gives him his magical powers. And even though there’s absolutely nothing in it for her, Tinker Bell gives Peter so much of her fairy dust, that she’s almost about to disappear, which is what fairies do instead of dying. The one thing that can save Tinker Belle is if Peter believes in her magic love. And the way he’s supposed to let her know he believes is by clapping his hands. There’s a lesson there for some of us who are kind of close to the getting off ramp on our road.

Magic lives. In fact life is magic. The Good Book says that God created life and God is love. So if you believe…really believe….in God, doesn’t that mean that you also have to believe in the magic power of love ?

Clap hands for Tinker Belle will be in my next Personal Audio CD. If you like it you can just keep the current podcast. And if you like stories like it, just check out the Personal Audio CD icons on the home page.

Everybody is rushing along the road to ruin…the Pimple People just don’t know it, and the Dreary Drones were mostly ruined a long time ago anyway. Those guys kiss their women to calm them down. Louie Louie Lads and Ladies know what’s going on, and we know we’re going to be ok. We’re going to be fully alive the day we die. We roll out of bed every morning to do our thing…and that’s no problem. It’s getting up off the floor some mornings that can be a problem. But we figure whatever life throws at us, we can duck so it hits somebody else. And we remember that only a jerk is always at his best. Every time you feel like throwing in the towel, remember… all that would do is make more laundry.

It is true that we’re all rushing down the road to ruin…and if you believe the politicians and the talk show hosts you’ll break your axles in the pot holes. The middle east…the national debt…health care…and over on ESPN, the New York Mets.

But as Big Louie always says, there are some things that are just more important than being scared. Tinker Belle was scared, but she came through anyway. I think we all deserve a little magic love like hers. So, how about it? What will it cost you to clap hands a couple of times for Tink? 



Wonder Wench Writes

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

Hmmmm … will “his” pain go away if I kiss it?  Knowing “him” it will just travel … to some pretty outrageous places … 

We have a very young family member who’s name is Cecelia, and somehow I think she has already figured out that kissing a boo-boo works just fine to get a Barbie doll, but not so fine if you cry a lot. 

So … methinks “he” dost cry a lot …


Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

I’d like you to know how special it is hearing from you. My Lady Wonder Wench had a tough night last night. As you may remember she had a bad accident a few years ago, and sometimes the ghosts come back to play their ghastly game. So this morning, it was wonderful to see her smile, and to read Sheri’s comment (below) and get this email from a Proud Podcast Participant by the name of Harris:

I’m just another guy going through some growing pains. But your Good Night Podcasts have been pretty good bandaids for the past few years.
Fortunately, I’ve found someone who can “Kiss the Boo-Boo”. Thank you for taking my mind off my mind!
Hope you’re sleeping soundly yourself.
Take care and thank you very much and keep up the good work!
Thank you. Thank you…you’re special.


Tuesday, August 27th, 2013

There are a couple of minutes from my Quiet Hands Personal Audio CD in the current podcast. Some people claim just listening made some Booboos disappear. I’m interested to know if it works for you too.  Please let me know. Thanks. Dick


Monday, August 26th, 2013

Some really great answers to the “Grateful Woman or Sinful Woman” question in Here’s one of the best from a trusted Proud Podcast Participant:

Re the woman in your story whose husband stopped paying attention:
I don’t think it was gratefulness.  It was more a reaffirmation of her attractiveness and her femininity — her proving to herself that she was still an attractive,sexy, and sexual woman, who could bring a younger man to attention.  Each time she “said thank you” she was proving to herself that she was worthwhile.  Nothing like the inattention of a spouse to make one doubt oneself.  (Been there, done that.)  I guess that’s why I understand her so well.

Kiss The Boo-Boo

Saturday, August 24th, 2013

There’s nothing more comfortable than sitting here in my big, black leather, manly, poppa chair in my living room. But the “Boo-Boo Boogie Man” just started beating on my knee again…the one I had replaced because he wore the original knee out. That guy is mean. And he sometimes sneaks up on me when I’m trying to do the Louie Louie Guy strut to get my Lady Wonder Wench’s attention, like I was planning on doing tonight. I sometimes think he’s jealous…like all the other guys who know about my Lady Wonder Wench.

 And miraculously, just as he dug his claws into my knee, an email popped up on my lap top. It was a message from some company in Kenya announcing that they had just discovered a mysterious 5,000 year old secret joint pain reliever from the Himalayas that I could buy for only $39.95 a bottle, plus shipping, handling and appropriate taxes. Mmmmabe not.

I am a Louie Louie Generation guy, so as it says in my book, Staying Happy Healthy And Hot (available at guys like me need to remember what our leader, Big Louie always says: “When experiencing boo-boos of any kind, concentrate on your gratitude-attitude.”  So I did. What could I be grateful for in this case? So I got focused on the fact that although the knee hurts, my wrinkles don’t. And that really did help a bit. But not much. Then I started thinking about having my Lady Wonder Wench kiss it. That helped a lot.

Besides the 5,000 year old secret Himalayan pain reliever there are all kinds of pills that can help with pain…starting with good ol’ asprin, and kicking into high gear with stuff only your local witch doctor can let you have, but your insurance won’t cover. Of course there are other ways to deal with pain. For example you can have someone hot and beautiful kiss the boo-boo. My Lady Wonder Wench has always been good at that. However I think she has become somewhat suspicious of boo-boo kissing lately because I must admit I have sometimes been guilty of a shameful exaggeration of boo-boo pain and some deceitful geographical mis-directions of boo-booed bodily parts that I was trying to get her to kiss. A guy’s got to do what a guy’s got to do.

Slow, gentle back rubs will benefit your boo-boo too. And if you add a little sexy music, it works like a handful of warm body oil that helps dissolve your boo-boo very nicely. Words can sometimes do wonders too. In fact if you have a boo-boo right now, check out the current podcast, and lean your boo boo up against the speakers and let a few minutes from my Quiet Hands Personal Audio CD rub it away.

The verbal back rub is one of the cuts from my Quiet Hands Personal Audio CD. If you like it you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to dick summer dot com, and check out the Quiet Hands  icon on the home page.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-   What won’t the Naked Recreation and Travel Association ever do ?

2-   Why are our Congressional representatives probably safe from having contact with aliens ?

3-   Why did the moose cross the road ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

That Louie Louie Generation “Gratitude-Attitude” is good for lots of different aches and pains. As Big Louie always says, “We can’t change what is, but we can change how we think and feel about what is.” There’s a story about a lady who learned the value of the Gratitude-Attitude in the Night Connections 2 Personal Audio CD.

The woman’s husband didn’t even say thanks when he really should have. He wasn’t paying attention. So the woman said thanks…big time…to the guy who did pay attention. Some people would say that was sinful. I think it was mostly gratitude. What do you think?

“Saying Thanks” is from the Night Connections 2 Personal Audio CD. As usual, if you like it, you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy just check out the Night Connections 2 icon on the home page. What do you think. Was she being sinful, or just greatful. Drop me an email. Dick at dick summer dot com.

The Boo-Boo Boogie man pounds us in different places. Different places on our bodies, and different parts way inside. Listen to how we talk. How often have you said somebody is a real pain in the tail…or a real pain in the neck. Your heart can be in pain too…physically as in “Time to get to the E.R. fast,” and emotionally like the woman in the story you just heard. Those are big pains. There are lots of little ones around too.

My friend Adam is a waiter in a diner. The other day, I saw a couple of Pimple People who were busy texting while he was taking their order. They never even once looked up at him, and they certainly didn’t say thanks. What would it have cost them to treat Adam like a hard working human being worthy of some respect ? I asked Adam about that. He said, “You get used to it.” And I guess you do. We all do. But what do all those daily boo-boos do to us? They have to make us kind of black and blue inside. And after a while don’t we get kind of hard inside to protect ourselves from the anger and the hurt? And when we get hard inside, what does that do to the way we treat each other?

Some of us are lucky, like me. We have someone hot and beautiful to kiss our boo-boos. Some of us aren’t that lucky. But Proud Podcast Participant John L sent me some reasons for almost all of us who live in America to remember  Big Louie’s Gratitude-Attitude. Here’s what he said:

 “If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep, you are richer than 75% of the people in this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet and spare change in a dish you are among the top 8% of the world’s wealthy. And if you listen to this podcast on your own computer or smart phone, you are part of the 1% in the world who can do that.”

Gratitude Attitude. My knee just got boo-booed again. Gratitude-Attitude, my Lady Wonder Wench is a terrific boo-boo kisser, and she’s sitting right there on the couch across the room…looking concerned.

Oh the pain!


Friday, August 23rd, 2013

drive in caps 45 changer

Some Louie Louie Generation memories. The podcast and blog goes up this Sunday, and if you still have any Boo-Boos left…bring em to

Wonder Wench Writes/Dickie Quickie

Thursday, August 22nd, 2013

The Dickie Quickie first: Lots of folks wrote about the story in the podcast. My Lady Wonder Wench…as she does sometimes (usually) decided to take on the more fragrant parts of the podcast. Here’s what she said:

Guys (even Big Louie His Own Bad Self) just never learn to grow politer.   They don’t grow up, that’s for sure.  Yes, I do know how necessary these things are.  And how hysterically funny (sometimes) and, of course, we ALL have the problem.  But … could we at least try to control our public utterances and maybe wear some sort of nice smelling lotion on really bad days? 

And why, oh why, is it considered so falling down funny by just about everyone with a deeper voice and hair on their chest?  Embarrassing, yup; uncomfortable, definitely.  But … on purpose?  In public?   Funny? Nah. 

Well, maybe just a little …


Wednesday, August 21st, 2013

Another great note about the story in the podcast at This is from Proud Podcast Participant Carole M:

Dick, I finally got a chance to listen to the podcast.  I think that the guy did exactly the right thing.  I disagree with an earlier comment that the era in which this story took place would have dictated his actions.
The young lady was hurting – she had a child and was planning to move on and raise him/her by herself.    Although she was in psychic pain, she was strong enough to finally break free and move on with a little positive reinforcement from him.   She was looking for comfort and reassurance – nothing more. Had she wanted more, I believe she would have made the first move, or at the very least, would have let him know in some subtle ways that she NEEDED more.
Someone who had been betrayed numerous times was perhaps emotionally much too fragile to begin any kind of relationship by making love with someone.  As you know, women usually invest a certain amount of emotion and attachment to lovemaking.  (At least, it seems to me, this particular lady would have.)    Perhaps further down the road, the friendship could have grown into something more.
I think that someone who was fiercely independent and emotionally strong might have wanted more- but then I doubt that they would have found themselves in a similar situation.  More likely they would have thrown the bugger out and/or walked sooner rather than later.


Tuesday, August 20th, 2013

Proud Podcast Participant, Anita send this really neat comment about last week’s podcast:

Holding hands (“Hand-some-ness”): late the other night…on the UES. in
> front of me was an ancient, very uptown couple. walking SO slowly.
> Holding hands. She began fussing with his coat. They stopped. He stood
> there while she rearranged things on him. Then they linked arms and
> continued. Suddenly, a loud, “Hey!” It came from the cab of a giant
> truck. The couple stopped. “Hey youz!” They looked up at the truck.
> “Youz is such an inspiration! Such an inspiration! I just hadda tell ya!”
> The air was filled with thank yous & you’re welcomes. Everyone was
> smiling….laughing… Beautiful. And one of those moments that makes me
> smile when out-of-towners go on (& on) about what a cold rude heartless
> town NYC is…
>> Anita