Archive for May, 2012

Wonder Wench Writes

Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

Wanna know what a “low blow” is to a Louie-Louie Lad with a pilot’s license?

“You could practice your landings … ”

Now when I said that, the wind had kicked up and our landing at a nearby airport (for lunch – the main reason Louie-Louie Lads fly) … anyway, that landing got a little exciting.  For me.  I DO NOT LIKE BUMPS WHEN I FLY.  Oh, it wasn’t bad – just a tad more exciting then I like.  So I made the aforesaid low blow statement. And ever since then, every time anything awkward happens, I get a look. That look is nearly as bad as a low blow.

But it’s not my fault Miss T (the plane’s serial number ends in a T) found it necessary to flounce down the runway a bit more exuberantly than normal.  After all, if that nice Louie-Louie Lad HAD practiced more, maybe we wouldn’t … well, never mind. 

Low blows tend to make Louie-Louie Lads rather ratchetty.  They do not like being reminded that they really should practice some stuff more than others.  Like:  I know he knows how to run the lawnmower – but why would he want to mow across the electric cord?  And:  if you run that lawnmower at an angle across our back yard, you really better hold on ‘cause the slope is really steep and of you’re not careful …  oh, you tipped over? 

See?  It gets better as time goes on.  Louie-Louie Lads have a creed which says:  “Do not learn from experience.”  I guess it’s because that would take all the fun out of life.  Right?

Hence the low blows …

Sixth Anniversary – Part 3

Saturday, May 26th, 2012

Six years and counting. Here’s part three of our 6th year anniversary celebration. As with almost everything in my life, very few things come out the way I expect them to. We did the 5 most downloaded podcasts of this year, then the five most downloaded podcasts going all the way back to the beginning…and I told you we’d have the five most downloaded stories from the Personal Audio cds this time. And we do. Only there are six. And there are seven cds. That’s life.

Life, according to Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie Louie Generation, “is that experience which says that all the happiness in the world cannot buy you money.” It asks questions like, “Which is better, horse play, or monkey business.” And why do I have to be so competitive that I feel defeated and dejected all day if I can’t make the last dribble of milk float the last cereal flake in my breakfast bowl…which I do. Actually life doesn’t ask that question. My Lady Wonder Wench does. Then she rolls her eyes…while I’m pretty sure she wonders if I am really the best she could do. She once asked, “Did your IQ test come back negative with that competitive stuff?” I don’t think women understand…even Lady Wonder Wench. Any Louie-Louie Generation guy will tell you that”If winning isn’t everything, why do we keep score ?” Huh ? Answer me that.

If you’re new to this blog, you might wonder, “What is the Louie-Louie Generation.” And that would be an intelligent question. Membership in the Louie-Louie Generation is mostly dependent on your willingness to join our struggle for respect, recognition, and happiness that we must wage every day and every night against the insolent forces of the clueless Pimple People, and the Drab and Dreary Drones, who have gone over to the Dork side. Many, although not all of us, are of an age when we are still going places, but now it’s often just to the supermarket. But we are not nostalgic for the old days. Because how can you be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

But I digress.

The number five spot on our list of most downloaded stories from the Personal Audio Cds this year is an unlikely tie between Daddy’s Girl, from Night Connections 2, and Beauty And The Beast, from Love Comes When You least Expect It. Daddy’s Girl is a story that’s based on an incident from the life of a woman I was honored to know. She’s gone now. But her memory will be around for a long time.

We have two daughters. And I can’t imagine the hole in my life if I hadn’t been part of their growing up lives. Daddy’s Girl is from the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. It’s tied for the fifth most downloaded cuts from the Personal Audio Cds. It’s tied with Beauty And The Beast, from the Love Comes When You Least Expect It Personal Audio Cd. Love Comes When You Least Expect It is different from most of the other CDs. It’s a complete story, about two pilots and a lady. It’s also about guilt, and love, and an amazing, happy ending. But it’s also about a question I’ve never been able to answer to my own satisfaction: When a man is in love with a woman, at what point does he have to back away from a relationship with another woman before it becomes betrayal. I think it can sometimes happen…just in your head. I think it happens a lot in offices.

Beauty And The Beast, is from the Love Comes When You Least Expect It Personal Audio CD. It’s the co-owner of the fifth most downloaded cut from the Personal Audio Cds this year.

The Prince of Fantasy is all alone as the fourth most downloaded cut from the Personal Audio CDs this year. It’s from the Bedtime Stories CD. This one hits close to home for me…because I could very easily have been the guy in the story. It was a very complicated time in my life. And I very nearly let my Lady Wonder Wench slip through my fingers. I woke up just in time as she was slipping away. Maybe that’s one of the reasons I like to make a point of holding her hand…every chance I get. The Prince of Fantasy is from the Bedtime Stories Personal Audio Cd. And it’s the fourth most downloaded cut this year.

The third most downloaded cut this year was written a long time ago. It was a time when we had typewriters, and outdoor telephone booths, hula hoops, lava lamps, and beer can tops that just flipped up instead of coming off. It would probably be wise to update some references like that, but…I’m not going to do it. It’s like watching a Star Trek episode when Capt. Kirk was young, and wearing his pajamas for a uniform, and struggling with non-computer special effects. You wouldn’t change that, would you? Or more accurately, it’s like unwrapping a Christmas tree ornament that once belonged to your grandparents…who gave it to your parents, who gave it to you. It was written when I first fell in love with my Lady Wonder Wench. The third most downloaded story this year is from the lovin touch personal audio CD. It’s called, Christmas Warm.

The world looked different then. Johnson was in the White House. Gas was about 40 cents a gallon. And leisure suits and mini-skirts were in your closet. Which is a good place to hide any surviving leisure suits. The world looked different then. But the warmth still feels…even better now. Christmas Warm is the third most downloaded story from the Personal Audio Cds this year. It’s from the Lovin Touch personal audio CD.

The second most downloaded story isn’t a story at all. It’s from the slightly mysterious, Quiet Hands Cd. I don’t talk about it much, because it sometimes gets a little intense, and I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I was a clinical hypnotist for a long time. And I found that if I could get people to concentrate carefully, they could actually feel what I was talking about. Try it. Let me know how well it works for you. The second most downloaded cut this year is from the Quiet Hands Personal Audio Cd. It’s called… the Back Rub.

The test to check if that works for you, is, if it does, you should have kind of a silly smile on your face by the end of the cut. The second most downloaded cut this year, from the Quiet Hands personal audio Cd, is called the Back Rub.


Before I tell you about the most downloaded cut from the Personal Audio CDs, let me remind you that the easiest and fastest way to hear these six most popular Personal Audio CD cuts, is just go to the current podcast at . It’s free. But if you like doing things the hard way, I want to offer you a sixth anniversary celebration gift. No strings attached. Until June 3rd, I’ll send you a free download of the six, top five cuts from the Personal Audio Cds. Just send your email address to me at  The download will come to your email address via a program called, You Send It. It’s safe. I use it all the time. I have to put the June 3rd deadline on the offer for an eye glazing number of reasons. Some of which actually make a certain amount of sense.

This year’s top downloaded story from the Personal Audio CDs is from the Night Connections album. It’s called, A Real Friend. I knew a woman who actually did what the woman in that story did. She was desperately in love with a married man. She was pretty, smart, and happy…happy to be in love…even though she knew he could never be her lover. Or was he? Remember the question in Beauty And The Beast ? Did he have to touch her to be her lover ?

That’s it for the celebration of our sixth anniversary. Thank you…really thank you for giving me some of your very precious time…for being part of the huddle with my Lady Wonder Wench and me. It’s more important to me than most of you could possibly imagine. Next week, we bring in lucky year number seven.

Wonder Wench Writes

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

Last night my long-suffering Louie-Louie Lad and I saw what was probably one of Glenn Campbell’s last concert performances …And as painful as it must have been for him – it was glorious.  If you are not a member of the Louie-Louie Generation (don’t laugh, Big Louie, there are some), Glenn Campbell is a singer and sometime actor who made us all glad we had ears.

Cal, Ashley and Shannon – three of his kids – were on stage and performing magnificently with him.  And yes, he can no longer hit those neat high notes … but he can still sing.  And play the guitar.  And play that guitar while his daughter played the banjo — and manage a marvelous dueling banjos set that had the audience in an uproar.

I must admit that I was in tears when he finished Rhinestone Cowboy, for him and what he gave us, not Robert and the horse.

It was obviously difficult for him to stand and perform in front of that sell-out crowd, but I hope he got as much satisfaction from all the grateful thanks as we had in hearing him.

Thank you, Glenn Campbell.


6th Anniversary – Part 2

Saturday, May 19th, 2012

Happy Anniversary to us. This is our sixth anniversary, and this is the second of three special blogs/podcasts to celebrate the occasion. This time, we’ll check out the top five most downloaded blogs/podcasts going all the way back to the beginning. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your precious time for those of you who have been with us for years. And for those of you who have just joined our huddle, welcome…and let me explain that these podcasts track the constant struggle for respect, recognition and happiness that we Louie-Louie Generation folks wage…daily and nightly, against the insolent forces of the clueless Pimple People, and the Drab and Dreadful Drones…who have fallen into the clutches of the Dork side.

Louie-Louie Generation folks are comfortable. We know that “He who dies with the most toys wins.” But we don’t envy him. Because we also know he doesn’t get to play with them, because he’s dead. We’re happy playing with the toys we’ve got. We sometimes sing out loud with the music in the elevator, and we don’t mind being the only one on board who remembers the words. Michelle…Ma Belle…the Pimple People don’t even remember Ma Bell.

There isn’t room here to re-write all the blogs. But you can read any or all of them  by just using the archive list at the right side of the page. And you can listen to any or all of the podcasts by simply going to  So here we go with the top five most downloaded blogs/podcasts from the first six years.

Number 5 is from March of 2008. It was about the day my Lady Wonder Wench became my Baseball Babe. Baseball Babe is one of my Lady’s many nicknames. She had a brother by the name of Bob. When they were kids, he used to try to get her to smile by staring at her and daring her to smile. You know the game. Bob grew up, and became a good soldier, who did himself, his family and his country proud. When he died a few years ago…as his closest living relative…they gave my Lady the American flag that’s now in a mahogany case on our living room wall.

She toughed it out. She didn’t cry. It reminded me of what it must have been like when Bob was looking at her and trying to get her to smile  when they were kids. She didn’t cry. Or maybe she couldn’t cry. Even when the honor guard fired his salute…and he was laid to rest. She didn’t cry. But she didn’t smile much either…until a few weeks later.

It was at a ball game…on a bright, breezy, Spring day. When the game was about to begin, the P.A. anouncer said, “Please rise, remove your hats, and honor America by joining together to sing our national anthem.” Everybody stood up and took off their hats, and a military Honor Guard marched out with the flag snapping smartly in the wind.

Thousands of us stood up…shoulder to shoulder…to sing the Star Spangled Banner. And when we got to the part about “Oh say does that Star Spangled Banner still wave,” she started squeezing my hand pretty hard…and when we sang about the land of the free and the home of the brave…it was like Bob finally stared my lovely Lady Wonder Wench down. And she smiled…at him…then at me. Then…she cried.

Number 4 was from August of 2009. It was called Memory Movies. It was about some memories of the nights I spent on the air at NBC Radio in New York. Some of the R rated memories involved some visits from young ladies in rain coats, smiles and little else. One of those visits taught me a lesson. She was very pretty. Slim. Long dark hair. Soft gravely voice. Probably 22. She walked over to where I was sitting at the microphone…in sections…balcony first, smiled, and reached down to give me a kiss on the cheek as she told me how wonderful she thought my show was. In the process, one of her several charms became stunningly obvious as it slipped out from under her only half buttoned rain coat.

Now here’s where the lesson happened. Hormones came blasting into my brain at exactly the same time as a picture of my Lady Wonder Wench popped up. I don’t need to describe the hormones, but the picture…deserves a description. She didn’t look angry. Just hurt…like I had never seen her hurt. Because I have never seen her betrayed.  And I never want to. It was just an instant picture, but it absolutely and instantly cancelled out the hormones, and they immediately stopped sending singnals to the hands to which they were attached. It was like one of those old black and white movies with people like Lauren Becall and Cary Grant. It’s a story that’s been told over and over again…the story of ladies who come and go in the lives of guys who work in the night.

The third most downloaded blog/podcast since the beginning was from August of 2008. It was called “The Princess and the Frog.” Let me explain: My Lady Wonder Wench has been my girlfriend for a long time. I don’t even remember what my opening line was. We worked at the same radio station in Boston. I started thinking that I have no idea what I would use for an opening line for some other girl, if Lady Wonder Wench finally realized that no matter how nicely she kisses me, I’ not going to turn into a prince. So I ran a few ideas past her. When she heard most of them, she just looked at me and said, “Huh?” To find out which one that got her attention, go to  and scroll down to August of 2008

By the way, my theory is that “Huh” was a word that was invented once upon a time, many years ago, when a beautiful princess kissed a frog, and turned him into a prince. Now it doesn’t say so in the book, but if you’re a Louie-Louie generation parent you’ve heard some pretty fancy stories from your own kids, so you’ll understand that when the princess’s mother showed up in the morning and found this strange guy in her daughter’s bedroom, and the princess explained how he got there…”I just kissed this frog, and he popped out….” I’m willing to bet that Huh might have been only the first word her mom said.

When you think about it, it’s hard for a guy to come up with an opening line that’s good enough to get a kiss from a pretty girl, let alone an invitation to her bedroom. But that frog did it. He probably just sprayed a little fly breath mint into his mouth, hopped right up on the girl’s lap, and said…”Ribbit.” Big Louie his own bad self says, “Next time you’re in a singles bar, try it. It will get any girl’s attention if you pop a fly breath mint, jump into her lap, look her right in the eye, and say, “ribbit.”

The second most downloaded blog/podcast from all the way back, was from June of 2008. It’s called Piano Man meets Lawn Tractor Man. The Piano Man is a story from the Night Connections 2 Personal Audio CD. I had just finished producing the CD and I wanted to play it for you. It’s based loosely on a phone call I got in the middle of the night, from a Manhattan lounge piano player who was listening…and suffering from a smashed up heart. Lawn Tractor Man was a story of Pride. Chest thumping, sweat stained, he man pride. I’m from Brooklyn. Nobody has a lawn tractor in Brooklyn. All the guys where I live now have lawn tractors. So I bought a brute. A 21 horsepower, overhead cam, belchfire Lawn Tractor. It moves out pretty good. So I challenged my neighbor Randy to a lawn tractor race, for the title of Lawn Tractor Man of the neighborhood. Randy had to decline, for reasons that we got into with the podcast. So that left me the Lawn Tractor Man title by default. I was so delighted, and sweaty, that I figured I better hose down outside before going anywhere up wind of Lady Wonder Wench.

Before we get to the top blog/podcast of all time…let me remind you that you can read all the blogs…they’re in the archive list at the right side of the page, and you can hear all the podcasts…almost 300 of them…at

The most downloaded podcast from our first six years is called, “A Soft Summer Rain.”There’s really no way I can adequately describe what the sound of a soft summer rain, does to my head…especially when it’s shared with a beautiful woman. My head, and other parts. But I did the best could in this blog/podcast.

That’s it. The five most downloaded podcasts of the first six years. Thank you for finding time to join the huddle. It means a lot to me.

Next time…an anniversary frebie present for you, and the top five downloaded stories from the Personal Audio CDs.


Wonder Wench Writes

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

Speedos and bikinis … doesn’t “anniversary” mean remembrance of a time gone by?  Like – walking onCape Cod in a reasonable bathing suit?  You know very well, Big Louie, that if I tried to parade around in a skimpy bikini my Louie-Louie Lad would throw ten fits the size of Mt.Everest to keep me covered.  Not that HE wouldn’t look pretty good in a Speedo … but if I can’t, then he can’t.  So there.

 What I would like to know is … what happens when I get to six years writing smarmy replies to his blog?

6th Anniversary Pt. 1

Saturday, May 12th, 2012

We’re heading into our sixth year together. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your valuable time every week again this year. Thank you if you’ve just joined us. And thank you even more if you’ve been part of the “Huddle” from the beginning. If  you’ve just joined us, Let me explain that this podcast/blog is about the constant struggle of the Louie-Generation lads and ladies against the forces of the Pimple People, and the Dreadful drones. In other words…it’s about the fact that real courage isn’t always about beating your chest and hollering, “I’m number one.” Sometimes it’s just about a small voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.” That’s hard. But Louie-Louie Generation folks have been through plenty. And we’ve got plenty left. Plenty of juice. Plenty of juice for fun, for new friends, for sex, for new ideas, and for turning fantasies into facts. Sometimes it’s pretty tough. But…one more day…we can do. And when we need help, we just remember what Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation always says: “Therapy is expensive…snapping bubble wrap is cheap. Your choice.”

We’re having a three week celebration this year. This time, we’ll check out the top five downloaded podcasts/blogs of the year. Next time it’s the top five downloaded podcasts/blogs of the entire six years. There’s a big difference. And the time after that it’ll be the top five most downloaded stories from the Personal Audio CDs.

Time to pop the cork. This year’s fifth most downloaded podcast/blog is from last July 24. It was about an email that had just come in that was so un-expected, and such a bomb shell, that when I called my Lady Wonder Wench and told her about it. She said something like “Oh my God, Wow”…and she was holding her cell phone at arms length by the time she got to the word “wow.” That “wow” came out on a note that was so high and loud, that I couldn’t really hear it, but my neighbor Randy’s Golden Retriever came over and told me about it. The email was notification from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame that they had included some of my work in their new exhibit. The podcast/blog is called, “Rock and Roll is here to stay.” I haven’t been to the Rock Hall yet to see it. If you have, please tell me about it. The Email is .

This year’s fourth most downloaded podcast/blog is about leap year…sort of. In it, I told you I was not leaping from my big, manly, comfortable, black leather pappa chair, because I have found that I don’t bounce nearly as well as I used to. But Proud Podcast Participant Betsy K nailed what it was really all about when she sent an email that said, “I liked “Leap” because I think at the age of most Louie-Louie Generation Lads and Lasses, we need to be reminded to leap, to see how high we can fly…while we still can. The podcast/blog is called, “Leap” and it’s from February 4th of this year.

Proud Podcast Participant Betsy K also had a comment about the third most downloaded podcast/blog this year. She said, “Whistle Missile is a podcast that reminds us to smile. Not enough smiling going on these days.” “Whistle Missle” was an announcement of our constant struggle to save the world, stop the sky from falling, and keep Victoria’s Secret out of the bad guy’s hands. The ones with the cold fingertips. It was an announcement that The Big Louie Department of Defence and Fooling Around has decided that it was time to target the Tear Mongers…the Dreadful Drones, who are always running around wringing their hands and mongering tears. Louie decided to launch our ultimate un-doomsday weapon…our, January 7th podcast/blog called the “Whistle Missile.”

Podcast/blog number two this year was about something I forgot…that I shouldn’t have forgotton. My wedding anniversary. Big Louie tried to cheer me up. He said, “Don’t worry about forgetting things. That happens. People get older. They get larger. They start to smell bad. That’s why they need their own space.” Louie is such a comfort sometimes. But my Lady Wonder Wench did a lot better than that. He has a blog called Wonder Wench Writes. And in it, she said, “My Louie-Louie Lad remembers me all the time…with jelly beans, and daffodils, and holding hands, and laughing at silly jokes, and telling bedtime stories.” That made me stand up very straight, look her right in the eyes, and kiss her till my filling melted. Proud Podcast Participant Jeff S. had a somewhat different reaction. He said, “It’s so wonderful to see that there is a happy ending to some of life’s stories. Not that you guys are ending. Although Dick is further along than most of us.” Thank you so much Jeff.

Please remember that you can hear all the podcasts, and/or read all the blogs…all the way back to the beginning…at They’re all there, and it’s all free…because it’s just between us…Sorry…it’s just among us…for the picky, picky among us.

Ok. Here is is. The most downloaded podcast/blog of the past 12 months…our sixth year. It’s from September 2, 2011. It’s called, “Tucking Summer Away.”

Tucking Summer Away

Friday, September 2nd, 2011

Time to tuck another summer away. Sunrise, sunset. To everything there is a season. And this is the season when Summer falls asleep. The long, laughing, lazy, crazy, hazy days at the beach, the nights full of soft lovers voices under the boardwalk…Saturdays in the park, itsy, bitsy, teeny, yellow polka dot bikinis, roller coasters, Italian ice cups, baseball, the sound of crickets, and lawn sprinklers…you can feel them all slipping away…into fall.

Time to tuck away the fireworks, hang up the hammock, and take one more turn around the grass on the lawn tractor. And for my Lady Wonder Wench and me, time to wrap the cape around this Summer’s memories. The ones that started in March with Met’s Spring Training. We’re taking our end of the summer trip up to old Cape Cod this week. I love the ocean…when it’s gentle…or even when it gets a little frisky. I can hear it in my head, even in the winter.

But I think there’s going to be a problem on the beach this year. I am packing my old Speedo that I’ve worn ever since I was a competitive swimmer…in college…a long, long, long time ago. It still pretty much fits me. But my Lady Wonder Wench is also packing that Godawful thing she bought me that she calls, “Your new trunks,” and she’s wearing that…wife look. You know the one that says something along the lines of, “I had a nightmare last night that you and George Clooney were fighting over me, and you won.” I knew this was going to happen ever since last year. Last year, while I was striding down the beach in my Speedo, she didn’t want to walk with me, and I distinctly heard her tell her friend Carine, that I was making it obvious that all men are not created equal. I took that as a compliment. But…maybe not.

I used to go walking in the sand like I owned the beach when I was a Coney Island life guard, a long, long, long time ago. Can’t do that since I had a knee replacement. It WAS a long time ago…when girls first started wearing bikinis. I wasn’t used to that. I sometimes walked down the beach for hours and never saw a girl’s face. Us Louie-Louie Generation guys have been around for a long time. So have our Louie-Louie ladies. And we like that. Most of the time. There’s a story about watching the seasons spin around together in the Bedtime Stories personal audio cd, and in the current podcast. It’s called “For The Long Run.”

I like that I know exactly the place on my shoulder where her head rests at night. I like that I can recognize her perfume. I like that when she has a bad dream, I can make it go away by just holding her hand…she smiles in her sleep when I do that. I like that she feels safe with me…she has done me the honor of allowing me to protect her for a long time.

“For The Long Run” is from the Bedtime Stories personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast, or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Bedtime Stories icon on the home page.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1- Why was my friend Bob’s request for his vanity plate refused ?

2- What’s the real reason homing pigeons can’t navigate with a magnet attached to their necks ?

3- What keeps women in Ontario from going topless ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.

To everything there is a season. Sunrise, sunset. My Lady Wonder Wench and I are New York Mets fans…for our sins. And our summer begins in late March, when we go to Florida to catch some Spring Training. I like that word…spring. I think they gave it that name so you could start listening for it in the middle of the night in March. Haven’t you ever listened carefully and heard little green stuff popping out of the snow ? That means Spring is coming.

I know there’s a soggy, sweaty, stinky side to Summer. But Summer is my season. I love it. But it’s time. Sunrise, sunset. It’s time to tuck another summer away. To everything there is a season. My Lady Wonder Wench and I will be away for a couple of weeks. I’m not taking a computer, because a vacation is a vacation. So there won’t be a blog or podcast for a couple of weeks either. But I am taking my Speedo. Because I don’t care if my birthday suit needs some ironing. I look forward to walking in the sand in my trusty old Speedo all year long.

I hate to tuck this summer away…but I’m pretty sure that if I listen closely enough next March…in the middle of the night when everything else is quiet…I’ll hear that little green stuff popping up.

I know this Summer has to fall asleep. Because…sunrise, sunset… that’s the only way there can be another spring.

That’s it. Thanks. Thanks for being there for me, and for my Lady Wonder Wench, and Big Louie…and…you know. Just thanks. Next time, it’s the top five podcasts/blogs from the entire six years. Happy Anniversary.

Wonder Wench Writes

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

No problem, Louie-Louie Lad … if the hula hoop doesn’t fit … get a bigger one …

I gave the blue heron in His Louie-ship’s podcast a name.

His name is Toby; well, To Be or Not To Be, actually, but that translates down to Toby.  My blue heron.  I look for him every day.  He’s been back once so far, and I doubt I have ever seen anything more elegant in the wild.  My Lad bought me a blue heron statue for our garden and he, of course, is Toby.

Big Louie. I at least am not surprised that the guy in Tiny Dancer couldn’t see what was right in front of his nose … most pimple people don’t.  Why is it we almost always want what we used to have and gave away?

And yes, I am still violining – not well, but persistent … you don’t want to hear me.  Yet.

It’s A Wonderful Life

Saturday, May 5th, 2012

The Sixth anniversary of the Connections blog and the Good Night podcast is coming up. Drop me an email… , and let me know if there’s a blog or podcast or two that you might like to see or hear as part of the celebration.

Did you ever look for something, and have somebody say, “There is is…it’s right under your nose.” The next time that happens, instead of saying something about having a senior moment, just haul yourself up to your full height, look that person right in the eyes, force your voice down to disc jockey pitch, and say, “You probably don’t know, but there is a place right under your nose that’s a blind spot. Therefore you can’t really see anything directly under your nose. So button your lip.”

And that’s really true. There’s a blind spot right under the middle of your nose. And 99% of the guys listening right now, are checking it out, and 100% of their ladies are watching them in horror.

Which that brings to mind something Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation always says. He says, “Some people see milk and honey. Other people only see calories and cholesterol. And one or two weirdoes tend to see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.”

Three things happened this week, and two Emails came in…and I didn’t see the connection till just now. Maybe that’s because it was right there under my nose.

The three things that happened went like this: first, My Lady Wonder Wench saw a Blue Heron land in a little stream on our neighbor Randy’s front lawn. It was exquisite. And she was as excited as I’ve seen her since our little Cecelia was born. Then my friend Chuck called to tell me that he arranged to buy his friend David’s girl friend. And the other day, driving past a hospital parking lot, I saw a license plate that made me stop, back up, and spend about thirty seconds thinking about it. The first email said, “Thanks for sharing those little pieces of your life with us.” The second one said, “Some of the things you said in this week’s podcast reminded me of someone I once loved/love.” At first, I didn’t see the connection, but it was right there under my nose.

Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.

1-   Why is Henry Wolf hoping his local TV station news runs a story on him.

2-   What should you never do with your cat ?

3-   What caused the first pre-computer social networks ?

Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.


Right there under my nose…the Blue Heron lands on my neighbor’s lawn, Chuck buys David’s girlfriend, and an amazing license plate…then the one email thanking me for sharing little pieces of my life, and the other one from a lady who wasn’t really sure a love affair was really completely burned out. And I didn’t see the connection…because it was right there under my nose.

As Big Louie says, “Good judgement comes from experience. And a lot of experience comes from bad judgement. There’s a story about a guy who’s about to have a bucket full of experience dumped on his head…in the Night Connections Personal Audio CD, and in the current podcast. It’s called, “The Tiny Dancer.”

I can’t help but wonder if the lady really didn’t see him. Women know what’s going on. And then I wonder what it would have taken to have plugged their connection back in. What would have happened if she looked back at him…and he smiled at her. I can’t help wondering.

The Tiny Dancer is from the Night Connections Personal Audio CD. If you like it you can just keep the current podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the Night Connections Icon on the home page.

The Blue Heron, the bought and sold girlfriend, the very profound license plate,  the e-mails from the girl who might be wishing she had looked back…at least once, and the other one that just said thanks for sharing little pieces of my life. You’ll probably see the connection if I fill in a little about each of them.

The first Email about the lady who wasn’t quite sure she wasn’t in love any more…sounded to me like she was seriously thinking of re-opening a door that had slammed shut between two people who really cared about each other. And something unexpected in one of these podcasts, had made her put her hand on the door knob. And she was happy. Really happy about it. And that was a special thrill for me…having something to do with that. The second email came jumping out of the spam and trash in the email collection late in the afternoon of a day I’d rather forget…except for her note. It was un-expected, and I wanted to hug her for it.

My Lady had just pulled out of our driveway when she saw the beautiful blue heron land on my neighbor’s lawn. She called me on her cell phone, she was so happy and excited. It was something wonderful that she didn’t expect. And I haven’t heard her that happy and excited since the day our daughter Kris told us that her little girl Cecelia was born. She’s been hurting a bit lately…it’s the result of that accident…and she was smiling and laughing for the first time in almost a month.

David and Chuck are both friends of mine. They’re heavy duty big time airline pilots. I fly my little four seater mostly for fun. David’s “Girlfriend” is really an early Louie-Louie Generation Piper Cub. He called her his, “Girlfriend.” Pilots are that way. One day when Chuck came for a visit, he saw her parked right next to my plane in the hanger. He has wanted an old (1932, Fabric covered, no electric) plane exactly like that for years. And when David said he’d sell her to him, because…well…he hated to do it, but he had to…something sad…sad but wonderful happened again…to two very special friends, who certainly didn’t expect it to happen. And the license plate on the car parked in the hospital parking lot that made me stop and…frankly made me break down a bit…it said in single letters…letter i, letter m, letter s, letter u, letter j, letter o, letter e. I miss you Joe.

I was passing that hospital on the way to an appointment after having an argument with my Lady Wonder Wench. I almost lost her in that same hospital after her accident a few years ago. I got luckier than Joe’s friend. It was a slap on the side of the head that I certainly didn’t expect. It said, “Oh my God you are the luckiest guy alive.” I bought her flowers on the way home. And she gave me a long, wet, warm, Wonder Wenchy kiss.

I don’t know why I didn’t see it right away. But I finally figured out the connection here. It was hiding…right under my nose all along. I guess that’s why it took me a while. You probably understood it much faster than I did. It’s simple. Even when you’re having one of those days when your lava lamp has burned out, you can’t get your hula hoop over your tummy, your computer has crashed and there’s a report due tomorrow morning, and you can’t remember any of your passwords, and your wrinkles are beginning to hurt…you just never know when something wonderful…really going to happen to you.

Jimmy Stewart was right all those Christmases ago…in that classy old black and white movie. If you just hang in there long enough…the odds are very good that something special is going to come along…when you least expect it.

You know what?  I guess it really is… A Wonderful Life.

Dickie Quickie

Thursday, May 3rd, 2012

The SIXTH anniversary of the blog and podcast is coming up soon. If there’s a blog or podcast that you especially liked, please let me know so I can include it in the research i’m doing for the celebration orgy. The address is:  Thanks.

Wonder Wench Writes

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2012

So all right, a pimple person wouldn’t know who Sophia Loren is.  And that same pimple person would make the majestic mistake of giving my Louie-Louie Lad an opportunity to rub his back legs together and create that great scritching noise the male tree frogs make to attract lady tree frogs, by saying to him, “I’ll tell the girls you’re ready for them.” 

It’s not her fault he’s a Louie-Louie Lad of major years … and experience …

And it’s no one’s fault that my oh-so-wonderful Lad just isn’t used to being incapacitated in any major way … like not being able to talk straight with his mouth out of shape (for a change) … but he did earn a very strong RICHARD when those back legs started their scritching.

 What else is a Louie-Louie Lass supposed to do?