I am sitting here in my big, black comfortable leather poppa chair in my living room, fondling my left knee…which Doctor Dracula, M.D. is shortly going to replace with something he thinks will feel better. Humans have always thought we could improve on the body that the Designer-In-Chief gave us. That’s where we got artists like Picasso. A lot of people would pay a lot of money for his famous painting of a woman with the body parts in unusual places. I prefer the original design, as expressed by people like my Lady Wonder Wench…thank you very much.
I remember the worried look on the pretty face of a young woman by the name of Maureen with whom I was…as they used to say…going steady…when she asked me a question that was supposed to be a one question intelligence test. Since she was convinced we were eventually going to get married, she was concerned about my level of intelligence, because I guess I wasn’t showing much of it at the time…since I was at that point in my life, a pimple person.
The question was, “If you could put an eye anywhere else on your body, where would put it.” For many reasons which would have made her blush if I told her about them, I figured the best place would be on my fingertip. It turns out that I had what she called the right answer The reasons she gave, of course were somewhat different from mine…so Maureen was relieved. I hope she is still relieved…wherever she is. If you’re reading this Maureen…your body parts were all in the right places…and I certainly appreciated that.
The question does bring up some interesting points however. For example, why did the Designer-In-Chief decide to put something as drippy as a nose right over our mouths ? I’d rather have it there than in some other places I can think of…not under our armpits. But over the mouth seems…un-necessarily disgusting.
Because I live where the winters get cold, I’ve often thought it would be good to have our ears under our arm pits…but of course that would mean we’d have to stick our hands up in the air every time someone was talking to us…which would make it even more difficult for us to look into the eyes of a lady in a low cut dress if our eyes were up there on the fingertip and hers were down where they belong. I mean…come on…think about the angles involved. And I won’t even begin to get into some of the shortcomings that I feel took place in certain gynecological and Viagral designs.
Dick’s Details Quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
1- What’s with ladies leather underwear ?
2- What’s the best vehicle for dealing with a hungry whale ?
3- If you meet a guy by the name of “Stumpy” in Florida, what’s his likely profession ?
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
I was critical of a painter by the name of Picasso a few minutes ago. I don’t want you to think I have anything against artists. And I really don’t want to hear from the American Artists for Violent Action Against Wise Ass Bloggers committee. I like artists. In fact, there’s a story about an artist in the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. It’s caller Painting, Pottery and Passion.
It’s about silence…it’s sometimes called icy silence. But this silence…in this story…was as hot as hot gets. Do you ever wonder why we do things like that…on purpose…play with fire ? The guys in the white lab coats say we sometimes really want to get burned. And they may be right.
Painting, Pottery and Passion is from the Night Connections 2 personal audio cd. If you like it, you can just keep the current podcast, or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to the home page of this website, and download it from the Night Connections 2 icon.
I guess it’s appropriate that I’m going to have a knee operation, because I’m a Louie-Louie Generation guy…and like most Louie-Louie generation guys, I can no longer call myself hip. I guess you could say Guys my age are much more like knees. Think about it. We’ve had to learn how to bend…even when we don’t like it. We’ve had to learn how to forgive, because there have been so many times when we’ve had to be forgiven. And too much jogging has definitely bounced our brains around a little too much.
Most of us are optimists though. We still hope things are going to get better, because we’ve often seen them even worse than they are now.
What a wonderful time we’ve had.