Be careful what you ask for, because you might get it. It happened to me. Yesterday, my buddy Bob and I were discussing the fact that our kids are now driving cars, and we’re riding our exercise bikes. So we started trying to figure out…what is the subtle difference between growing older, and getting old. Here’s how I see it. Getting old is when you sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. Your knees buckle, but your belt won’t. You’re sitting in your rocking chair, but you can’t make it go. You get winded playing chess. That’s getting old.
But getting older, can actually be a little fun. Look, I think Big Louie, His Own Bad Self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation is right when he says, “Trickery and deceit usually defeats youth and skill.” It’s like the baseball pitcher who smiled as the batters ducked when he threw his 100 mile an hour fastball a little inside a few years ago. And now, even though the radar gun is showing only around 89, the smile is still there as he watches the batters screw themselves into the dirt swinging at his nice new slow slider.
The biggest difference between getting older, as all us members of the Louie-Louie Generation are doing, and just getting old, is that we have attitude, and we know how to use it. We keep things in perspective. When somebody tells us to “Have a nice day” we tell them, “Thank you but I have other plans.” Instead of making up depressing lists of things we have to get done, we make lists of things that we’ve recently completed…and we look at them with great satisfaction…and we say…”wow I’m good and I’m getting better.” We are not above sticking a post it that reads “Out to lunch” on our foreheads, or putting our glasses on upside down to make people laugh. That’s different from putting on baseball caps backwards. That’s not attitude…that just looks dumb.
Attitude can be kind of hard to explain to people who’ve had theirs dry up and drop off…because they got old. It’s like the song Louie-Louie itself. It has attitude. Most people thought it was dirty. We knew it wasn’t, and we laughed at all the Forces For Good In The Community who were Shocked by it…Shocked I tell you. Attitude is good. It keeps us from wasting energy by over reacting. We understand that if you lend a guy $20 and you never see that guy again, it was probably worth it.
You can’t really explain what attitude is. But you know it when you see it. I guess some things are just harder to explain than others. For example, how come we put a man on the moon before we figured out you could put wheels on luggage ? Why is a loaf of bread square, when sandwich meat is round ? Why is an actor IN a movie, but he’s ON tv. And even my Lady Wonder Wench can’t explain why a bra is singular but panties are plural ?
Louie-Louie Generation people have attitude. We pick our partners. We don’t just take whoever comes along. We take our chances. I know for a fact that one of you showed up at someone’s door in the middle of the night last Tuesday, un-announced, ready, and breathing hard. And he didn’t turn her away. And one of you fell off the wagon and got drunk again last night. But you woke up this morning and promised yourself you’d start all over again today…day one all over again. You said, “I did it before, and I can do it again.” And two of you found out you lost a son today…in some country with a name you can’t even pronounce. No words can match your tears…or describe the comfort only you can give each other… or give a voice to your tremendous pride. Big Louie is smiling at that kind of attitude…and trying not to lose it…and so am I.
Dick’s Details quiz. All answers are in the current podcast.
1- Why is it dangerous for a beautiful woman to play cards late at night?
2- Why do I hope that the Japanese won’t have to stack their women.
3- How do we know that the can opener was invented by very hungry people ?
Dick’s Details. They take your mind off your mind.
Keep that good Louie-Louie Generation attitude going group. If your kid keeps whining while you’re baking, and he says Mommy, Mommy can I lick the bowl ? Tell him no…flush it like everybody else. It’s not easy being a mom. I always get a kick out of listening to the change in a woman’s voice, when she’s been screaming at the kids, and then she goes to answer the phone. WILL YOU KIDS STOP DIPPING THE CAT IN THE TOILET – Hello ??? One of the biggest changes a woman has to make is from being a mom to the kids, to being a temptress to her husband. There’s a story about that in the Night Connections personal audio cd. It’s called The Couples Concert. If you like it, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the icon on the opening page.
And just for the record, I think there are very few sexier things than a tired woman with a smile on her face, a warm attitude, and a happy sense of humor.
Louie-Louie Generation folks know things. We’ve been to the movies. We know for example that all beds have L shaped sheets that reach the armpit of the woman, but only the waist of the guy lying beside her. A man will show no pain while taking a hideous beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. And a detective can only solve a case after he has been unjustly suspended from duty.
But we’ve also been around long enough to know some other things. Like when my jeans are getting too hard to button, it means I shouldn’t complain…I have enough to eat. And the fact that I have to pay taxes means I have a decent job. And when I have to clean up a big mess after a party, it means I have had lots of family and friends around. And when I hear constant complaints about our country, my attitude is…I like having freedom of speech.
Attitude. Keep humming Louie-Louie. It’s the difference between getting older and getting old. But do be careful of what you wish for because you might get it. I was telling my buddy Bob yesterday, that I sure wish I could have a teenager’s body again. And this morning, when I was shaving, I found a pimple.