On the wall right by my side of the bed, there’s a framed needlepoint that my Lady Wonder Wench did a few years ago. It’s about being married to her best friend…and it has our wedding anniversary date on it…and I forgot our anniversary anyway this year. I FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY. I look at this needlepoint every morning when I get up, and this morning I was thinking, “well, I better get Lady Wonder Wench something nice…our anniversary is coming up…let’s see when was it…YAHHAAAA.”
Lady Wonder Wench doesn’t deserve this. Her only bad habit is me. If smarts were oil, I’d be a quart low. I’ll bet my dad never forgot his wedding anniversary. He taught me everything I know. But obviously he didn’t teach me everything he knew.
As Big Louie, his own bad self, the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation always says, “Finding the perfect woman isn’t the whole job. You’ve got to find the perfect woman who isn’t looking for the perfect man.”
Lady Wonder Wench just gave me that soft smiley look when I said “I’m sorry.” Then she closed her eyes, and gave me a kiss that seriously softened the fillings in my teeth. And I hope you will be just as forgiving… because I forgot our anniversary too this year. It was last month. This is three years. I’m sorry. I’ll buy you guys a beer next time I see you. And it would be nice if those of you who are not guys…would just please smile and pucker up.
Anyway…happy anniversary…only a month late. I promised I’d tell you the top five most downloaded podcasts of the year on our anniversaries, so here we go for anniversary #3.
The fifth most downloaded podcast this past year was published last July 27th.
It’s called “The Sounds of Silence.” It was about thanking those of you who sent Lady Wonder Wench cards, and teddy bears, and balloons when she was in the hospital. And it was about how silent the house was when Lady Wonder Wench was in the hospital…that terrible silence where her Lady sounds should have been. Quiet is comfortable. Silence screams.
Big Louie, his own bad self tried to cheer me up a little with a great quote. He said, “Things won’t be the way you remember them when she comes home, although that’s what you might hope, Things will be just what they are for a while, so be careful you don’t slip on the soap.”
But looking back at that time, it felt like I was standing outside myself, trying hard to get back in. Thank you for helping me through that time. Thank you. All of you.
The number four most downloaded podcast was posted just a few weeks ago. June 7, 2009. It’s called the Google Giggle. It’s about that little voice in your head that makes nasty comments, and sings snatches of songs over and over and over again. I call that little voice your giggle…because it’s really important, but it can get you mad. And getting mad at yourself doesn’t help. But you can’t get mad at something that makes you giggle. That’s why I call that irritating part of you, Giggle. Giggle is also the part of you who hides your glasses on the top of your head, and slips your car keys into the pants you just hung in your upstairs closet. It also grows little hairs on your tongue that you can’t find with your fingers, and sends you into the next room and when you get there it won’t remind you of what you’re looking for. There are lots of kinds of giggles. For example your gaggle giggle…it makes you stutter when you’re trying to explain something you did to a traffic cop. And there’s ED the Gangster giggle who stars in Viagra commercials…and makes life embarrassing in romantic moments. And toughest of all is the Gotcha giggle. It sometimes grabs me and won’t let go…when I see a little baby laugh, or I’ve got to say a last goodbye, or sometimes…when I hear Taps, or Silent Sight, or Amazing Grace. Your Giggle can getcha.
The third most downloaded podcast this past year was originally posted on October 1, 2006. It’s called Growing Up With The Truth. Growing up can hurt. So can telling the truth. That’s why some of us do neither. Mostly we are guys. I cannot tell you a lie. The kid next door has my potato pop gun, and I want it back. But she’s five, and I’m not going over there and knocking on her dad Randy’s door and telling him, “I want my pop gun back.” Life can be cruel when you’re faced with growing up.
The second most downloaded podcast this past year, was originally posted back on February 3, 2008. Its called a Single Rose for Peter Paul and Mary. Any real Louie-Louie Generation lad or lady will know where Puff The Magic Dragon lived… although you may have temporarily forgotton. We sometimes do forget very important things like that. My Lady Wonder Wench and I joined a bunch of other sixties kids at a Peter, Paul and Mary concert. It was an evening I will never forget. Especially the Mary part. Mary Travers…frail from a long battle with cancer…almost inhaling the music…sitting on a stool because standing was too much pain…getting stronger by the minute…until their last song…when she struggled to her feet…smiled like sunshine…and belted out the soprano lead to Puff, The Magic Dragon. That…I will never forget. By the way, Puff lived in Honalee.
Which brings us to Number One. Number one by such a huge margin that I have no way to explain the numbers. It was posted on November 19, 2008. It’s about a tiny clump of hair that set off a shriek that could be heard from here to Labrador. It’s a tale of lurking intrigue and falling down laughing at a major U.S. airport…Philadelphia International. My Lady Wonder Wench was returning from an all girls vacation in Mexico with our daughter Kris, and a couple of female friends. I met her at the airport sporting a mustache and beard, and wearing a slouch hat and sunglasses. And she didn’t recognize me right away…even when I walked over and planted a super smooch on those ruby lips.
This year’s top podcast is called The Master of the Mustache Disguise and the Tiny Dancer…because along with the mustache caper, it included the most downloaded track from the Personal Audio cds. It’s about a guy pretending he wasn’t watching as the lady who used to be his wife crosses a downtown street, leaving him with a question that he’ll probably will never be able to answer. It’s called The Tiny Dancer.
Sometimes it’s the right person…but it’s just the wrong time. That story is from the Night Connections personal audio cd. If you like it you can just keep this podcast, or if you want a fresh copy, just download it from the night connections icon on the opening page.
If you’d like to hear the top five podcasts, ALL the Good Night podcasts are carried (free) at www.podcastalley.com
Well there it is. Better late than never. The top five podcasts from the last year, on our third anniversary together. Well…a little after our third anniversary together. Thank you for giving me a few minutes of your life every week again this year. And thank you for helping me through the toughest year I have ever experienced in my life. I slipped on that soap Big Louie was warning me about a few times, but so far, I’ve been able to get back up again. And so far, my Lady Wonder Wench still hasn’t started looking around to find the perfect man…even though I’ve been telling her what Big Louie, his own bad self… the chief mustard cutter of the Louie Louie generation has said so often… as we go upward and onward into the summer of year number four together…Louie says, “Sex is better than cutting the grass, no matter what your wife says.”
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