TV Land is that weird place where you can talk about and show murder, rape, and disease as enthusiastically as you like, but you can’t talk about or show two people making love as enthusiastically as we do when we get lucky.
For example:1- There are lots of â€œN wordsâ€â€¦which means there is no such thing as THE â€œN word.â€ Some idiot long ago couldnâ€™t spell the word â€œNigerâ€, so we got the word â€œniggerâ€â€¦ which became a word other idiots have used to call people with brown and black skin. If a guy describes somebody as a â€œnigger,â€ heâ€™s done you the favor of telling you right up front that heâ€™s an idiot. Simply by using that word, heâ€™s saved you the time and effort of figuring him out. Donâ€™t waste any more time/effort on him.
2- Get real. â€œThe N wordâ€ doesnâ€™t mean anything. Say what you mean. â€œNiggerâ€ is a word that cuts. Itâ€™s stupid, discourteous, and it hurts. And that means somethingâ€¦it tells you somethingâ€¦something uglyâ€¦ something that wonâ€™t go away if you stick your head in the sand. So deal with it. The phrase â€œThe N wordâ€ doesnâ€™t hurtâ€¦ because there IS no such thing as â€œTHEâ€¦ N WORD.â€
Thereâ€™s a dictionary full of â€œN words.â€ How about Nice, Nude, Naked (I like that one), Nabob, Naah, Nana, Nail, Native, Noseâ€¦etc. When that jet was bearing down on my little plane, the controller said â€œturn north.â€ That meant something. If he had said â€œturn to the N wordâ€â€¦ the only response Iâ€™d have had isâ€¦â€HUH?â€ â€œDo you want me to turn naked nicely like a nabob with a nana who has long nailsâ€¦naaah, that canâ€™t beâ€¦ do you want me toÂ fly my plane up your nose?â€ By the time I got if figured out, Iâ€™d have been toasting marshmallows on the jet guyâ€™s after burner.
2a- And while weâ€™re at it, there is no such thing as an â€œAfrican American,â€ any more than there is a â€œEuropean American.â€ â€œAfrican Americanâ€ means absolutely nothing. You African? Okay. You European? Okay. You American? Also okay. Africa is a continent. America is a continent. Europe is a continent. Three different continents. Lots of water in between.
3- Get a grip. When that controller called the traffic, I put both hands on that control wheel and some muscle went into that bankâ€¦fast. It happened, as they say, with â€œno delay.â€ The lesson ? Letâ€™s cut the crapâ€¦now. Weâ€™ve got important things to worry about in this country. Let it be the exclusive concern of our very capable American Association of Interior Decorators to worry about how brown, black, white, pink, yellow and red can work togetherâ€¦. what do you care? Get up off your black, brown white, pink, yellow or red butt and get a grip on the things that count. And DO something about them.
Watch the newscastsâ€¦if youâ€™ve got cable/satellite, check out the news reports from the BBC and other foreign sources so you know what other people are really saying about usâ€¦read the paperâ€¦learn whatâ€™s going onâ€¦make a note of which politicians donâ€™t really answer the questionsâ€¦tell your friends who they are, then vote them out of office. Raise hell on talk radio, and write e-mails to the politiciansâ€¦ and demand an answer from them by phone if they ignore you. Know whatâ€™s really going onâ€¦THINKâ€¦donâ€™t get led around by the likes of Al â€œSharpieâ€ Sharpton or Righteous Rush Limbaugh .
Remember this quote. Itâ€™s from Adolph Hitlerâ€¦and these are his exact words: â€œHow fortunate for those of us who rule, that the people donâ€™t think.â€ SO THINK. THEN get up off your multi-colored butts and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
4- A sense of humor couldnâ€™t hurt. The thing the papers call a â€œnear missâ€ is really a â€œnear hit.â€ If it were a â€œnear miss,â€ it would be a collision. But pilots call it a â€œLinda Rondstadt.â€ As in â€œBlue Bayouâ€â€¦as in â€œthat jet just blew by you.â€ We can all use a laughâ€¦ especially when weâ€™re looking at something that can tear us apartâ€¦like racism.
4- Help each other out. It was that controllerâ€™s job. Itâ€™s yours too. And mine. Respect the difference between giving a helping hand and giving a handout. But if youâ€™re on the receiving end, donâ€™t bite either handâ€¦ and get off your black, brown, white, pink, yellow or red butt as soon as you can so you can pass some good stuff along.
5- The Air Traffic Control system is highly professional and absolutely courteous. Pilots and Controllers address each other as â€œSirâ€ or â€œMaâ€™am.â€ We trust each other with life and death decisions that have to be made in an instant. Thereâ€™s no time to waste. But courtesy isnâ€™t considered a waste of time.
Courtesy is simply an expression of respect and concern. You may not want to go so far as to call each other Sir or Maâ€™am, but you can hold a door open for a ladyâ€¦or even another guyâ€¦whatâ€™s to lose? You can resist riding a guyâ€™s bumper or giving another guy the finger if he does it to you. And Louie-Louie Generation guys should have the good sense to remove their hats at the table, at least when there is a lady presentâ€¦unless your religion requires otherwiseâ€¦in which case you can wear the appropriate yarmulka or turbanâ€¦not a Yankee baseball hat.
We have a number of pilots who subscribe to this blog, and at least one (ex) Air Traffic Controller. On behalf of all of us pilots, let me take this opportunity to say â€œthanksâ€ to Paul and all his brother and sister Air Traffic Controllers for looking out for us. You guys are the best.
I think if you asked him, Big Louie…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation would say “Itâ€™s time to get real. Say what you mean. Get a grip. Laugh a little. Say ‘thanks’ when itâ€™s due. Take at least one flight in a small plane on a lovely day. Enjoy living a little before you die.”
Â Big Louie is a pretty bright guy. And he’s been around awhile. And for all of you who are planning a trip by air…he wants to wish you “Happy Landings.”