Dick-etter – (Quick letter from Dick) – October 29, 2008
Just got back from a friend’s bachelor party. The singles scene has changed. It’s now mostly in bars that are so dark and noisy you can’t see anything or hear anybody. Singles can now meet, fall in love, and get engaged to somebody they don’t recognize at the wedding.
Some hook ups take place outside the approved singles scene. For a good example of that, click on www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest
My Lady Wonder Wench is sitting in my big black comfortable leather pappa chair in the living room tonight. Actually she’s sleeping after a very tough day…and I don’t want to disturb her…so I’m sitting here in her usual spot on the couch…with her needlepoint stuff and her little portable dvd player. It’s funny how changing where you usually sit in a living room can actually make the whole house seem a little out of balance. It’s a little like that fold your hands thing I use to tell people about when I was doing seminars. Its about little changes in what you do that make you feel a whole lot different. You might like to try it. Just fold your hands like you ordinarily do. If you‘re right handed, your left thumb is probably on top. Now try folding them with the other thumb on top. It’s different. Strange isn’t it ? Here’s another simple idea… try combing your hair with the part on the other side from the way you usually comb it. You almost can’t get your hand to do that. And when you look in the mirror, you look like somebody else…and you almost feel like somebody else. Which somedays…isn’t so bad.
Of course, there’s a kind of comfort in doing the same things you do all the time…the same way. But the problem is that you can get into ruts if you’re not careful. I don’t like ruts. You can squeeze all the juice in your love affair out of the ruts in your life if you’re not careful. Especially if you’ve been together for a long time…which is the case for lots of Louie-Louie generation folks.
By the way, you are a Louie-Louie Generation person if you find yourself humming that Louie-Louie song every once in a while, and you have a kind of Louie Louie attitude…which may be best described by Big Louie his own bad self…the chief mustard cutter of the Louie-Louie generation who likes to say…”You’re never too old to yearn and burn.” And “If you haven’t sprayed some whipped cream directly into your mouth this month…go for it now.”Of course, Big Louie has also been heard saying, ooh ee, oo ah, ting, tang, walla walla bing bang. So be careful about doing what he tells you to do.
Some ruts are really good habits, and are highly recommended. Like, always go home to the same partner. If you’re flying your little airplane, remember to land before you get out. And if you want to get the last word in an argument with your lady, the last word should be yes dear. I know that’s two words, but this is not the time to quibble.
Then, there are some things you shouldn’t do. For example, you should never have an empty refrigerator. That’s just not friendly. And a six pack doesn’t count. Your furniture should never include a futon. Never in history has a woman ever said…take me to your futon. Secret handshakes are a little over the top too. So is dressing like Ronald McDonald, Mick Jagger, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, or any of your more prominent religious leaders.
You start taking too many things for granted when you get into ruts. When you let that happen, you can very easily become a complete waste of skin. Be careful of that if you find yourself thinking you’ve really broken loose at a party because you took off your necktie. My Buddy Geoff is a good example of a Louie Louie generation guy who has let himself get into such ruts, that his wife Joanne says, the only thing that really interests him about the good old birds and bees is the price of chicken soup and honey. If that’s happening to you… comon guy…stir up that soup. Remember what Big Louie always says…”Won ton spelled backwards is not now. But if you stir it up and squirt it out a little maybe you can get it to spell Whoopie.”
Dick’s Details Quiz. All the answers are in the current podcast at www.DickSummer.comÂ
1- What kind of nuts are most annoying ?
2- What’s the hidden meaning of the song What Are You Doing New Year’s Eve ?
3- What is the most suspect ingredient in holiday pies ?
We were talking about how ruts can wreck romances. There’s a story about a couple who are a good example of that in the new Night Connections 2 Personal Audio CD. It’s called The Joy Of Giving Thanks. It’s in the current podcast and it’s kind of a wake up call. If you like it, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy you can go back to the front page of this web page, and download it by just clicking on the Night Connections 2 icon on the opening page. Whatever works for you.
You sent lots of very special Emails, and a few amazing comments about last week’s blog and podcast. It was about the generosity of being a step parent. Most of you said it was very tough, but it was worth it. Some of you said it was very tough, and it wasn’t worth it. I want to thank all of you for taking the time to comment about it. If you missed it, scroll down and take a look at the last blog. and click on the comments section. There are some thoughts there that you’ll remember.
I think being a step mother is especially tough. Society looks at it like you’re the wicked old witch of the west…or the nasty lady in Cinderella. I think being a good stepmother is just as generous and hard and loving, as being a good birth mother.
The lady sleeping over there in my big black comfortable pappa chair is a good example of that kind of love and generosity. And besides…let me tell you…she sure shook the ruts out of my life. My Lady Wonder Wench.
Dick-ette – October 21
86.5% of the guys who have commented on the “woman with kids” poll are saying positive things about the relationship. “It’s tough, but she’s worth it, and so are the kids” is the general consensus. The exceptions have to do with teen age kids. Will keep you updated. The question comes from the last blog, and the podcast at www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest .
I almost got thrown out of the hardware store today. Well…maybe they weren’t going to actually throw me out, but…it was…kinda nasty. Here’s what happened. I went in to buy some paint…I was planning on painting my back deck bright Wonder Wench Blue. My Lady Wonder Wench has lots of pretty parts, but her bright blue eyes are really something. When she’s smiling… you know how that first warm day of spring feels…you go out of your house without a jacket for the first time…the sun is actually warm on your skin…that’s how her eyes make you feel. So I went down to the hardware store and I found the guy behind the paint counter, and told him I want the toughest paint he had because I’m painting my deck.
Well… that obviously struck a professional nerve. He drew himself up to his full height…which looked like about 5 foot 4 inches in his lifts, and he said, “Sir, we don’t paint our decks. We stain them.” And he said it in the kind of sneering voice a waiter in an expensive restaurant uses to explain to you that it’s white wine…not red wine…with fish.
I said “you may not paint your deck, but I paint mine. I want some bright blue paint for my back deck.” He said, “we don’t have deck paint”…and gave me a kind of smug smile. He was one of those guys who looks roughly like a cold virus magnified a zillion times. He had hair growing out of a couple of tears in his uniform shirt, and he looked like if he stuck his fingers into his ears, they’d touch. But I was on his turf, and I wasn’t looking for a fight…so I said “ok, give me some very tough blue paint…for my back porch.” He gave me a look like …the expression you saw on the face of that guy doing the financial report on the evening news the day the stock market lost 700 points. He knew I had him. Big Louie, his own bad self…the chief mustard cutter of the Louie- Louie Generation would have been so proud of me. Without losing my cool I gave the paint guy a severe case of what I like to call rectal cranial inversion.
If you’re new to this blog, let me explain about Big Louie and the Louie-Louie Generation. If you often find yourself humming Louie-Louie…and you are sincerely looking forward to a disorderly, vigorous, and disreputable old age…welcome to The Louie-Louie Generation. Big Louie…his own bad self…is our chief mustard cutter. You know that imaginary friend we had when we were kids…Well that’s Big Louie…only now he’s all grown up…just like us. Louie doesn’t preach, but he has wise sayings…like, “Sex for money often costs less money than sex for love.” He’s always reminding us that you can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to do it with a straight face.”
“You don’t paint a deck.” That puny paint pusher was the kind of guy…I’ll bet his mother had morning sickness AFTER he was born. It’s my deck, and I’ll paint it if I want. And besides that.. since when did a back porch become a deck? It’s a porch. And I was determined to paint it Wonder Wench Blue…in honor of my Lady’s remarkable blue eyes.
I think we all have at least one remarkable body part. I have remarkable ears. I can wiggle them…one at a time. Some guys can run a four minute mile…I can wiggle one ear at a time. Same thing. My most TREACHEROUS body part is my left eyebrow. It reacts like certain viagral body parts when my Lady Wonder Wench strolls into the room wearing an outfit she calls “something more comfortable.” When she strolls in wearing something even more comfortable, I lose control of both eybrows. It’s really embarrassing. I think that’s the biggest difference between me and Harrison Ford. Harrison and I have a lot in common. We both really like ladies…and flying airplanes. But Harrison has much better control of his eyebrows. Well he does in most of his movies. But if you watch closely in 6 days 7 nights…when he’s helping Anne Heche with that snake in her shorts…his eyebrows almost knock his hat off. It’s not easy being a guy…let me tell you…even if you’re Harrison Ford.
Dick’s Details Quiz…all answers are in the current podcast at www.dicksummer.com  1- Where did we really get the saying, “Throw another shrimp on the Barbie?”
2- What don’t some Australian women do for a whole year after their husbands die ?
3- What do you get when you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy ?
Scoring:
3 right – Hardware Store Owner
2 right – Hardware store manager.
1 right – Hardware store key cutter.
0 right – Hardware store paint person.
I know this is kind of a silly blog. That’s because I’m feeling kind of silly…and very good right now. My Lady Wonder Wench is slowly but surely getting over a very serious accident…and she was able to stand up and take a shower for the first time today. It was my great pleasure to help. It was a good feeling…so to speak. Besides creating testosterone high tides wherever she goes, Lady Wonder Wench…a long time ago…signed up for a life with me, and four of my kids. That was a pretty generous thing for a beautiful young woman to do. But it’s not an unusual thing. Women are generous that way. But I got to thinking…how about men ? What do you guys think about becoming involved with a woman who has kids? I’m really interested…and I’d appreciate it if you’d drop me an email. My email address is dick@dicksummer.com .
There’s a story in the new Night Connections 2 album about a guy who’s taking a chance by dating a woman with kids. It’s called MS. Long Hair. If you get a chance, click here and give it a listen.
I have a weird head. Those of you who have seen my picture will certainly understand that. And the stuff that goes on inside it is just as weird as my eyebrows. I’m always thinking things like, “This milk bottle says it’s 2 percent milk. What’s the rest of the stuff in there?”
I guess that’s why I wanted to paint my back porch Wonder Wench Blue…like her soft, warm, beautiful eyes…they remind me of the first warm day of spring. See…we get a reasonable amount of snow around here in the winter…and when I’m out there shoveling all that frozen snow and ice…I know that Wonder Wench blue will show up…and spring won’t seem so far away.
Dick-ette – October 17
Some very interesting answers from Tom and Mike:Â
 A headache would not stop a Louie Louie guy from feeling sexy. Tom
Hmm… haven’t spent much time talkin’ to brooklynites eh? Porch car….
that’s the german car that others call a Porche! Mike
Next podcast/blog this weekend if all goes well. Meantime, please check:
www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest
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Tom
Dick-ette – October 16, 2008
Big Louie, His Own Bad Self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation says, “After two years of campaigning, how can ANYBODY be “undecided” in this election ? That’s like your girlfriend is feeling sexy, and you have a headache.”
Big Louie says lots of things. For example: www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest
Dick-ette – October 14
Almost got thrown out of the hardware store today for ordering paint for my back deck. You could hear the dis-STAIN in the guy’s voice as he almost screeched…YOU DON’T PAINT A DECK !!! It’s my deck. And I’ll paint if if I want. I’m painting it… Lady Wonder Wench Blue… like her eyes. And by the way…since when did a back porch become a Deck ? It’s a porch. In The Holy City of Brooklyn it would be a stoop. In Brooklyn a porch is a car. What’s the matter with these people ?
More on this in the next podcast in a few days. Meanwhile… try www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest
The Dick Summer Connection  – October 12, 2008
 Just as I was about to tell you that I don’t have to say prayers before meals any more, because I don’t have to worry…my Lady Wonder Wench is back to making most of our meals now, and she’s a good cook..and zap…an email came in from Proud Podcast Participant Pastor Mike. It’s like he was watching. I mean Pastor Mike…not the big He in the sky. I told you last week about one of the wise statements made by Big Louie…his own bad self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie Louie generation. The Big one says, “dogs are always barking. Cats are always meowing, and people are always preaching. Don’t do that.” So Pastor Mike sent me an email from his hide out in Oregon that said, “There’s a difference between sanctimonious lecturing and true preaching. True preaching means putting love in everyday terms.”
I think if there really is a God who created everything…the real Master Of The Universe… and He wanted to deliver a message to the world, He’d be more inclined to use a messenger like Proud Podcast Participant Pastor Mike than some guy on cable tv with a big ego, a bigger car, and a slicked down comb over hair style.
Lots of great emails came in this week. My Email address is Dick@DickSummer.com if you’d like to get in touch.
Here’s one from Proud Poscast Participant Angela in the holy city of Brooklyn. It’s a suggestion to save the struggling airlines. She says, “Dump the male flight attendants. Nobody wanted them any way. Replace all female flight attendants with attractive strippers…they don’t serve food anymore any way. That would at least triple the alcohol sales, and get a party atmosphere going in the cabin. Every business man in the country would start flying again, hoping to see naked ladies. Because of the tips, the female flight attendants/strippers wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving money. The tips would probably be so good that the airline could charge the women for working the flights, and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and ‘special services.’ Muslims wouldn’t get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airlines would see record revenues.”
Makes perfect sense to me. And as a pilot myself, I feel sure that we could let the girls use the cockpit for dressing rooms. I have been trying for years to convince my Lady Wonder Wench that the FAA wants a stewardess on every flight…even in my little airplane But she’s not buying it.
Proud Podcast Participant Sgt. Preston from Long Island had a reaction to my comments about fifteen year old girls singing about the love of their lives, which means they’re singing about the kind of pimple people you see hanging around malls with weird hair, baggy pants, pierced tongues and other body parts. The good Sgt. Says, “Don’t discount the love of 15 year olds. It’s not the same as Louie-Louie Generation love, but the feeling is every bit as strong. I remembered what it was like for me when I had my first girlfriend at 15. When my fifteen year old son’s girlfriend drowned. I didn’t poo poo his heartbreak. I helped find out as much as I could about it, and filtered it for him. I remember standing at a pay phone at a supermarked in Rhode Island, near the Scout camp on a Sunday afternoon, with him at my side, doing just that. It brought us even closer together.” Then the good Sgt. laid one of the most beautiful lines I’ve ever heard from a Louie-Louie Generation guy on me. He said, “I realized I was in love for a second time when I was 19. She’s upstairs sleeping.” I can’t tell you how proud I am of being in the presence of podcast participants like the Sgt.Dick’s Details Quiz – all answers are in the current podcast at www.DickSummer.com
1- What do British Blokes do with their rubber duckies ?
2- What happens when you take in a little pogonip ?
3- How can you tell which ones are the really nasty cockroaches. The ones with really bad attitudes ?
Scoring:
3 right – Jolly Good
2 right – Good
1 right – I say…sub par.
0 right – Bad Show.
Another Proud Podcast Participant, Alan Balkin from Paris wrote a very kind review of the new Night Connections 2 personal audio cd for CDBaby, which I appreciate very much. He singled out one of the cuts like this. He said: “Just when you think you know what’s coming next, the story changes direction. One particular track entitled Just Enough has to do with a subject that’s near and dear to Dick’s heart… flying. This is one of those stories that gives you one of those “I didn’t see it coming moments.” It’s in the current podcast at www.dicksummer.com  If you like the story, you can just keep the podcast. Or if you want a fresh copy, just go back to the opening page of www.DickSummer.com , and download it from the Night Connections 2 icon.
I’ve been telling you about the Louie-Louie Generation…folks who have had that song playing in the back of their minds for a long time…and know enough to keep it’s spirit alive in their…maturing bones. Big Louie…his own bad self…the chief mustard cutter of the Louie-Louie Generation understands that sometimes our lives get so nuts that we wonder who we were before we lost our minds.
I guess that’s why it’s a good thing that we can fall in love when we’re young… before we’ve grown any significant minds. It’s easy to fall in love when you’re young. And the Sgt. is right…young love really is love. As time goes by…it gets harder. For one thing… who has the time. For another thing…who has the guts to try that again. But there are some good things about Louie-Louie Generation love. I think the best thing is that we have some experience…a perspective…an appreciation for somebody who is willing to take the time…somebody who is willing to take that chance with us.
It happens sometimes when you least expect it. That’s why I think Big Louie is on to something really smart when he says, “you just never know when something absolutely amazing is going to happen next.”
Comments ? My email is Dick@DickSummer.com
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Dick-ette – October 9, 2008
Why do politicians keep lying ? I wouldn’t invite a guy who lies into my house, let alone put him up in the White House. Good news…tell me…make my day. Bad news…tell me…I’m a big boy. I can take it.
Check out “dreams” at www.dicksummer.com/podcast/latest
I’ve always been kind of a night person. I loved being on the air at night. From a practical standpoint when I was at WNBC in New York, I could park right across from St. Patrick’s , and walk right past the Rockerfeller Center skating rink where they put the big tree at Christmas time… right up to the studios in the RCA building. Then I could sit behind a microphone in a little room on the second floor in that mostly dark skyscraper, and call my nightly…coast to coast… huddle on NBC radio. That’s what I called the people who listened to me at night. My huddle. As in a football huddle. A bunch of people gathered around for mutual protection, and with a common goal in mind. In my huddle, the goal was making it through another night safely, and on a good night maybe we’ll also find a little smile.
I’m sitting here in my big black leather pappa chair in my living room right now…in the middle of the night. Except for my next door neighbor Randy who’s on the night shift this week, everybody else around here is in dreamland. Ever stop to think about how many different kinds of dreams there are? I remember a line from the Roseanne tv show…Rosanne said something like “It doesn’t matter if a girl marries the man of her dreams, because fifteen years later, she’s going to be married to a reclining chair that burps anyway.” Such a gentle flower of womanhood was Roseanne. Dreams usually have something to do with what’s going on in your life. Sometimes, they’re silly…like dreaming you ate a fifty pound marshmallow, then…sure enough when you wake up, your pillow is gone. And sometimes they’re very serious.
Like when Dr. King said, “I have a dream.” Another biggie according to the bible, was when Mary had a dream that an angel showed up and said you’re going to be the mother of God. That must have been some scary dream for a 12 or 13 year old kid.
Everybody has scary dreams…nightmares. My Lady Wonder Wench doesn’t have them nearly as often as she used to. Now, when she gets restless and upset, all I have to do is hold her hand, and she usually settles down, takes a deep breath, and smiles in her sleep…because she knows my hand means she’s safe…even if she’s having a scary dream. Pretty neat. And nobody smiles in her sleep like my pretty Lady Wonder Wench.
I have a dream too. It’s certainly not as big as Dr. King’s…he was a giant. My dream is just about big enough for an ordinary Louie-Louie Generation guy like me. You know about the Louie-Louie Generation… that’s people who have had the memory of that song playing in the back of their minds for a few years…and have an appropriate perspective on how to live their lives. My dream is to spread the wisdom of Big Louie…his own bad self…the Chief Mustard Cutter of the Louie- Louie Generation. Especially “Wisdom number 69,” where he says, “Just because you hear the woman in the next apartment screaming Oh my God at this hour of the night, don’t jump to the conclusion that she must be praying simply because she’s past 40 years old.”
Big Louie’s point is that there’s quite a bit of life going on after the barely- post- pimple stage. But you never hear about it. Singing stars are now fifteen year old girls who are singing about the love of their lives… which I suppose would be those boys you see in the mall with the manners of apes, pierced tongues, and pants hanging down around their knees. Now that’s ok for pimple people and a little beyond. To each his own.
But if you listen to the music, or go to the movies, or read the magazines, you’d think all men and women get naked and chase each other going about 1000 mph, till we hit about thirty years old… and then we suddenly put on suits and ties and wait to die…or worse yet… retire into some kind of catastrophic, celibate clump.
Wrong. Here’s breaking news folks. I have a couple of Louie-Louie Generation friends who are pilots like me, and they…put auto pilots in their small airplanes, specifically so they can take their Louie- Louie ladies to join the mile high club. Another Louie-Louie Generation couple I know is going to Hawaii this weekend to get naked and enjoy some of those beautiful leis. And my Lady Wonder Wench and I installed a hot tub right off our bedroom a few years ago…for… relaxation… and such. As Louie says…”It’s not your age…it’s your rage.”
But another thing Louie always says is “Dogs are always barking, cats are always meowing, and people are always preaching. Don’t do that.” So if you catch me preaching, please remember my email address, Dick@DickSummer.com …and remind me of another of Louie’s wise sayings…”The more important you think you are, the sillier you look.”
Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current podcast at www.DickSummer.com
1- What human scent is so strong that skilled trackers can follow it ?
2- What do we call butterflies with exceptionally long tongues ?
3- What biblical reference interfered with McDonald’s European stores?
Scoring:
3 right- Your Nights are in White Satin.
2 right- You like Walkin’ After Midnight.
1 right- Your daddy said get home before The Midnight Hour.
0 right- It’s Quarter To Three, And There’s No One In The Place.
Speaking of dreams, there’s a story in the new Night Connections 2 Personal Audio CD about a woman who spent years dreaming of being in love with a guy…and when it seemed like the dream was about to come true…a quick question flashed across her mind. It’s called The Dinner Date. It’s also in the current podcast at www.dicksummer.com  Give it a listen, and tell me what you think. I think it’s worth taking the risk. And I hope she did. But I don’t know.
I wouldn’t want to live in a world without dreams…even frightening ones. Big dreams like Dr. Kings’. Little dreams like spreading the word about Big Louie. Big dreams make people beat their chests and say “we’re number one.” I also like the kind of dreams that just put a small voice in the back of your head at the end of a tough day…a small voice that very quietly keeps saying “I’ll try again tomorrow.” And I especially like the kind of dream that makes my Lady Wonder Wench smile a little in her sleep.
