Archive for September, 2008

The Dick Summer Connection – September 28, 2008

Saturday, September 27th, 2008

I’m trying to find a doctor, and maybe you can help me. Lots of people are reading this blog now, and downloading the podcast that goes with it…either from this website, or Itunes…or some other source. The doctor I’m looking for is a smart young guy. Doctors aren’t like ordinary people. They’re smarter than we are. We’re homo SAPiens, and they’re homo SMART-iens. And that’s one reason they tend to make more money than we do. Lots of people are jealous of the money they get. Not me. I couldn’t do that job. It’s hard. And you’ve got people’s lives in your hands. I’ve seen plenty of that since my Lady Wonder Wench got hurt. And I don’t want any part of it.The doctor I’m looking for is a bike rider. Now, bike riders are tough guys. We have to be. I’m a bike rider. You know the kind of looks I get when I pedal around the neighborhood…and I’m wearing a helmet that looks like a hornless Viking hat…and gold lame shorts with a purple racing stripes ? You know that little bottle we always carry around ? That’s not water. That’s gator aid squeezed from real gators. One of the guys in my bike riding club is a local politician. He’s so tough, his wife has to watch the 6 pm news every night to see if he’s coming home. (Not really. I sometimes…exaggerate)

I started riding a bike, because I was putting on a little weight. Not enough to have to buy bigger bath towels…but more than I was comfortable carrying around. See… my Lady Wonder Wench is a good cook. While I was cooking for myself, my weight took care of itself, because I could only eat about half of what I cooked, since the other half always got stuck in the bottom of the pan. Most guys are not good cooks…and I don’t know why guys are so dumb about cooking. Somebody once told me that it’s because we only use around 10% of our brain cells. I guess the other 90% is busy watching the ball game on tv.

The doctor I’m looking for is a very decent guy. He’s like Dr. Cooperstein, the doctor I go to for my pilot physical. I fly a small airplane, and I have to take an FAA physical every other year. I don’t know what Dr. Cooperstein’s first name was before he became a doctor. I think that when people become doctors, their first names legally change from Joe, or Tom, or Mary to “Doctor.” Be honest…do you know what your doctor’s first name was before he or she became doctor ? Of course not.

When a doctor gives pilot physicals, he is known as a flight surgeon. That’s because he’s a specialist in keeping pilots physical bodies in relatively perfect condition. And we pilots cooperate in the process. We know while we’re flying, we have to be able to keep our eyes on dozens of dials and gages…lots of things… all at once. That’s why we practice by going to nude beaches. Being a pilot is just work work work.

Dick’s Details Quiz – All answers are in the current podcast at

1- Why did the Lone Ranger have to change his name ?

2- Where did we get the expression, “Cold cash?”

3- What was the first “Missionary Position?”


3- right – Brain Surgeon.

2- right – Flight Surgeon.

1- right – Family Doctor.

0- right – boy trying to convince girlfriend he’s a doctor, in order to do a physical exam.

We were talking about big money guys a while ago. Some of the biggest money guys are called head hunters. They find high paying jobs for people who like to make a lot of money. There’s a story about a head hunter in the new personal audio cd Night Connections 2. It’s called the Headhunter’s Woman. It’s part of the current podcast. I think it proves that in any contest between love and logic…or even lust and logic…logic is in big trouble.

I really am looking for a doctor. And I’m hoping you can help me. I really need to find him. This guy didn’t give his name, he just told some of my friends he was an Emergency Room doctor. Here’s the description my friends gave me. He’s a young guy who happened to be riding his bike past the scene of an accident a few months ago. He jumped off his bike, and ran over to a Louie Louie Generation woman who was lying motionless on the ground. She was unconscious, and in fact she had no heart beat. He managed to get her heart started again, and saw to it that nobody moved her…because he knew her neck was broken. He used his cell phone to call an ambulance…and stayed with her until she was safely on her way to a nearby trauma center. Then he got back on his bike, and just rode away…kinda like a medical Lone Ranger.

If you think you know this doctor, please…send me an email at

I need to find that doctor…and thank him…although I have no idea how to thank him enough. Because the woman whose life he saved, is my wife. My Lady Wonder Wench.







Saturday, September 27th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in something small from Dick.) September 27, 2008

I’m seriously looking for a doctor. The doctor I’m looking for is a smart young guy. Doctors aren’t like ordinary guys. They’re smarter than we are. We’re homo Sapiens, and they’re homo Smartiens. And that’s one reason they tend to make more money than we do. Lots of people are jealous of the money they get. Not me. I couldn’t do that job. It’s hard. And you’ve got people’s lives in your hands. I’ve seen plenty of that since my Lady Wonder Wench got hurt. And I don’t want any part of that. The full story about this doctor is in the upcoming podcast…at  If you know who he is, please email me at  I really need to get in touch with him. I’m starting work on the new podcast right now…I expect it’ll be up tonight or tomorrow.Thanks for your patience.

Friday, September 26th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little something from Dick) September 26

Life is so wierd. For three months, my Lady Wonder Wench had to try to figure out how to walk with that damn ten pound halo screwed into her head. It threw her ballance off terribly…among other things. Now that it’s gone, she has to try to learn to walk without it. It’s tough…and it must be very frightening. It’s a little like baseball. When the pitcher is throwing high hard heat at your head, you’ve got to stand up like you’re not afraid. Appropriately, it takes four balls to get a walk. Same with Lady W.W. Well…I guess anybody who has the guts to put up with me for all these years, can deal with this. New Podcast going up this weekend if all goes well. MEantime…

Thursday, September 25th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little something from Dick) September 25

SUCCESS ! The halo came off. Now the healing can start. My Lady Wonder Wench is a pretty woman. She now has four holes in her head…two on her forehead. The doctor says they will heal. I hope they do…soon. Even if they don’t…she will always be beautiful. Always.

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008

Dick-ette (as in something small from Dick) September 23

My Lady Wonder Wench had her cat scan yesterday. I took a look at the pictures, and they look ok to me. Problem is I don’t know what I’m looking at…which is the reason I’m not the guy who gets to decide on taking the halo off…or not. That happens tomorrow. Will keep you posted. In case you don’t know what a halo is…it’s a ten pound metal device that’s screwed into your forehead in hopes that broken bones in your neck might have a chance to heal. She’s had it on 24/7 for more than 80 days. Somehow…she has become even more beautiful since she’s wearing it. When this thing does come off, we may both need some re-hab at the Intensive Hickey Unit.

I finally got around to updating the podcasts a little…actually just giving the folks who listen (  ) a quickie progress report. I’m so busy I’m wearing out my Right Guard.

Monday, September 22nd, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little something from Dick) September 22.

Coming down the home stretch for my Lady Wonder Wench. Cat scan today. If it looks ok, the Halo “may come off Wednesday.” Speaking of cats…one of my jokes that Lady Wonder Wench likes is…”Do you know why the cat ate a piece of cheese ? So he could sit by the mouse hole with baited breath.” It’s not much of a joke, but it’s my joke and she usually laughs at it. A little laugh. A giggle. A snicker ? (That’s the kind of stuff she’s put up with for a long time.)You’ve got to remember that I wasn’t a brain surgeon. I was a disc jockey. I went to school on an eraser clapping scholarship.

Actually…I’m scared that something will go wrong…and I’m determined that everything will go right…and the damn thing will come off. She’s almost out of energy. Any good positive thoughts will be appreciated.

I’ll let you know how it works out.


Saturday, September 20th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little something from Dick) September 20

New computer. Vista. Old Roxio program won’t work on it. Bought new Roxio 9. CAN’T MAKE MP3s ! This is nuts. Gonna lift a bale, tote a barge, cut the grass, bite “Dick loves Lady Wonder Wench” into the nearest tree…and hopefully calm down. TWO TELEMARKETERS JUST CALLED!! ONE FROM A LOCAL DIRT BAG POLITICAN ! I WAS NOT POLITE !! This is like the Guy running the world is my teacher, and he’s giving me a report on my aptitude test…and it says I’d make a good echo!! I hope you’re having a much better day than this. At least the Mets are back in first place.

Friday, September 19th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little thing from Dick) September 19

Sorry for the gap in these little “post-ettes”. Blew a computer. Have to go to Vista. It was easier when we used parchment, quill and carrier pidgeons. Things are about down to the wire with my Lady Wonder Wench. Don’t think she can take much more of the “halo.” We’ll see the doctor middle of next week. I’ve been promising you a new Podcast/blog for too long…I just can’t get my head into it yet. Gotta grab a giggle someplace.  

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little thing from Dick.)

My admiration for John McCain goes back a lot of years. He was a semi hero of mine. This is not, and will never be a political blog. I hate politics. Mostly because of what it does to even semi heros like Senator McCain.

If anyone reading this can get the following copy for a 30 second TV spot to the powers that be in the Obama campaign…please do so.

“I’m afraid that John McCain would rather win this election than give us someone ready to take command when his healh fails…again. He has always put his country first…till now. Why couldn’t he at least have asked a woman who’s qualified to answer that emergency call in the middle of the night. Why didn’t he at least ask…Hillary Clinton.”

This will be the last comment I ever make about the upcoming election.

Monday, September 15th, 2008

Dick-ette (as in a little thing from Dick) September 15, 2008

Just when you think you’ve got a grip on this “falling in love” thing, you find out that it’s the other way around. It’s got a grip on you.

I’m going to do a new podcast in the next couple of days…I promise. Meantime, please try