Iâ€™m trying to find a doctor, and maybe you can help me. Lots of people are reading this blog now, and downloading the podcast that goes with it…either from this website, or Itunes…or some other source. The doctor Iâ€™m looking for is a smart young guy. Doctors arenâ€™t like ordinary people. Theyâ€™re smarter than we are. Weâ€™re homo SAPiens, and theyâ€™re homo SMART-iens. And thatâ€™s one reason they tend to make more money than we do. Lots of people are jealous of the money they get. Not me. I couldnâ€™t do that job. Itâ€™s hard. And youâ€™ve got peopleâ€™s lives in your hands. Iâ€™ve seen plenty of that since my Lady Wonder Wench got hurt. And I donâ€™t want any part of it.The doctor Iâ€™m looking for is a bike rider. Now, bike riders are tough guys. We have to be. Iâ€™m a bike rider. You know the kind of looks I get when I pedal around the neighborhood…and Iâ€™m wearing a helmet that looks like a hornless Viking hat…and gold lame shorts with a purple racing stripes ? You know that little bottle we always carry around ? Thatâ€™s not water. Thatâ€™s gator aid squeezed from real gators. One of the guys in my bike riding club is a local politician. Heâ€™s so tough, his wife has to watch the 6 pm news every night to see if heâ€™s coming home. (Not really. I sometimes…exaggerate)
I started riding a bike, because I was putting on a little weight. Not enough to have to buy bigger bath towels…but more than I was comfortable carrying around. See… my Lady Wonder Wench is a good cook. While I was cooking for myself, my weight took care of itself, because I could only eat about half of what I cooked, since the other half always got stuck in the bottom of the pan. Most guys are not good cooks…and I donâ€™t know why guys are so dumb about cooking. Somebody once told me that itâ€™s because we only use around 10% of our brain cells. I guess the other 90% is busy watching the ball game on tv.
The doctor Iâ€™m looking for is a very decent guy. Heâ€™s like Dr. Cooperstein, the doctor I go to for my pilot physical. IÂ fly a small airplane, and I have to take an FAA physical every other year. I donâ€™t know what Dr. Coopersteinâ€™s first name was before he became a doctor. I think that when people become doctors, their first names legally change from Joe, or Tom, or Mary to “Doctor.” Be honest…do you know what your doctorâ€™s first name was before he or she became doctor ? Of course not.
When a doctor gives pilot physicals, he is known as a flight surgeon. Thatâ€™s because heâ€™s a specialist in keeping pilots physical bodies in relatively perfect condition. And we pilots cooperate in the process. We know while weâ€™re flying, we have to be able to keep our eyes on dozens of dials and gages…lots of things… all at once. Thatâ€™s why we practice by going to nude beaches. Being a pilot is just work work work.
1- Why did the Lone Ranger have to change his name ?
2- Where did we get the expression, “Cold cash?”
3- What was the first “Missionary Position?”
3- right – Brain Surgeon.
2- right – Flight Surgeon.
1- right – Family Doctor.
0- right – boy trying to convince girlfriend heâ€™s a doctor, in order to do a physical exam.
We were talking about big money guys a while ago. Some of the biggest money guys are called head hunters. They find high paying jobs for people who like to make a lot of money. Thereâ€™s a story about a head hunter in the new personal audio cd Night Connections 2. Itâ€™s called the Headhunterâ€™s Woman. Itâ€™s part ofÂ the current podcast.Â I think it proves that in any contest between love and logic…or even lust and logic…logic is in big trouble.
I really am looking for a doctor. And Iâ€™m hoping you can help me. I really need to find him. This guy didnâ€™t give his name, he just told some of my friends he was an Emergency Room doctor. Hereâ€™s the description my friends gave me. Heâ€™s a young guy who happened to be riding his bike past the scene of an accident a few months ago. He jumped off his bike, and ran over to a Louie Louie Generation woman who was lying motionless on the ground. She was unconscious, and in fact she had no heart beat. He managed to get her heart started again, and saw to it that nobody moved her…because he knew her neck was broken. He used his cell phone to call an ambulance…and stayed with her until she was safely on her way to a nearby trauma center. Then he got back on his bike, and just rode away…kinda like a medical Lone Ranger.
If you think you know this doctor, please…send me an email at www.dicksummer.com
I need to find that doctor…and thank him…although I have no idea how to thank him enough. Because the woman whose life he saved, is my wife. My Lady Wonder Wench.